THE FISH

“When you kill someone, you get a tattoo,” the guy sitting next to me at The Fish (309 Gray, 713-526-5294) explains to his friend as he points to his arm. Given that we’re at the epicenter of the yuppie universe, the intersection of Gray and Brazos, this seems like an unlikely thing to hear during peak hours on a Saturday night. But perhaps it was a white-collar murder. Or maybe an investment-firm gang-initiation ritual. This is Houston, after all. We are to corporate crime as Los Angeles is to breast implants. But so it goes on the mean streets of Midtown, where yuppies come out of the cracks at night to do whatever it is they do when they’re not calculating interest rates or hunting for lofts. While I think The Fish is one of the best sushi restaurants in town, the bar leaves you feeling a bit claustrophobic. I alternately down a vodka tonic and a “green sombrero” as I try to distract myself from Professor Homicide on my right. But I’m also bumping elbows with a long-past-her-prime MILF on my left, who’s desperately hitting on a guy who doesn’t seem to be too interested. I spy her scanning the bar for fresh blood, and I quickly close my tab and head out the door.

3/4 ounce Patron tequila

1 ounce Midori liqueur

Splash sweet & sour mix

Splash triple sec

1 lime wedge

Combine Patron and Midori in shaker. Add in sweet & sour mix and triple sec. Shake vigorously, and pour in chilled martini glass. Squeeze lime juice from wedge into drink, and drop the wedge into the glass. She’s all yours, killer.