Snoop Dogg House of Blues March 18, 2011
11:08 p.m.: Just walked in. Snoop just stepped onstage a second ago. This place is packed. The ticket lady said that there were already over 1,400 people inside, likely with a couple hundred more to follow soon. Should be fun.
11:10: Bam. He certainly didn't waste any time. Snoop's doing "Gin and Juice" right now, and everyone in the room is best friends. Some immediate observations about his highness:
1. He's wearing a remarkable yellow sweatshirt. There's nothing overtly special about it, but it still seems important. It's a little weird, but mostly it's just neat. Fuckin' Snoop: Making Unimportant Things Important Since 1993.
2. In addition to several members of the Dogg Pound, an old man is onstage as well. His job appears to be to dance like an old man and be ironically amazing. He's very good at both.
11:12: Oh, hey, if the shirt that you wear to a club or concert has a large number on it, you're doing it wrong. It's a concert, man, not a goddamn intramural softball game.
11:13: There's a guy walking around here with a bunch of tattoos on his neck and face. It looks especially weird because he is, at the moment, enjoying a cherry or strawberry flavored Blow-Pop. Do his neck and face tattoos make it not okay that he's sucking on a bright red lollipop - one thing is thuggish, the other is not - or do they make it extra okay? Probably the latter, we'd suspect. Guys with neck and face tattoos can do whatever the hell they please. Except get jobs. That's pretty much impossible.
11:15: Oh snap. He's doing C-Murder's "Down For My Niggas." Excellent. Incidentally, did you know that C-Murder was eventually found guilty of - you guessed it -murder. That's some foreshadowing like a motherfucker. He was probably really kicking himself during the trial for giving himself that name.
It's just a little difficult to argue that you aren't a murderer when you've given yourself that exact name. Were his name C-Jaywalker or C-Good Hugger, he likely would've gotten off. Your name's "C-Murder," you say? Oh yeah, you're going down for that one, champ.
11:21: Snoop's moved on to that track he did with R. Kelly. Whatever happened to Kells? Did he ever go to jail? Or did we all just pretend that we never saw that video? For the record, we're cool with it if everyone ignored it. We mean, the guy's pretty much a genius. Certain omissions have to be made when you're talking about the dude that made 12 Play, right?
11:25: Dre's "187." Snoop's live show is seamless. There are no off moments.
11:28: Dre's "Nuthin' But A G Thang" to Tupac's "Hail Mary" to Tupac and Snoop's "2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted," with each track drawing larger applause than the one before it.
11:30: Haha. Somebody just threw a bag of weed at Snoop. He dodged it, finished his song, then picked it up and made everyone fall in love with him by joking around with the guy that threw it at him. That's pretty excellent.
Snoop is especially aware of his charisma. It's a big part of the reason that all of the people here tonight will leave and talk about how awesome the show was, despite the fact that he's so far only done one song that was entirely his. Also, the baggie had a picture of Batman on it. That's excellent too.
11:31: "Gangsta Party." Cool. A personal aside: Each year, our wife makes a video montage using pictures of our sons from that calendar year that she shows at their birthday party. The one she made for their first birthday party used Jack Johnson's "Better Together." It was pretty sweet. Our mother cried and cried while watching it. Afterwards, everyone told our wife what an amazing job she had done on it.
For their second birthday, we took on the responsibility of making the hallowed video montage. For certain, we used "Gangsta Party" as the soundtrack. It absolutely seemed like the perfect song. Somehow, its brilliance was lost on those in attendance. Everyone was appalled. Our mother cried that time too, for different reasons, we imagine.
11:33: It took exactly 25 minutes before Snoop addressed Nate Dogg's passing. He's just done so, simply requesting a moment of silence.
11:34: "It Ain't No Fun." Man, G-funk was a monster. It's going to be really neat when that style of music is back en vogue.
11:37: Oh crap! Warren G just came out. That can only mean one thing...
11:37:15: Booyah. "Regulators." Excellent, excellent, excellent.
11:38: And there's the first Pimp C salute of the evening. Were SXSW not going on right now, this would be where Bun B comes crashing out to "Get Throwed" and everybody loses their shit. Alas, Austin has ruined yet another thing. Way to go, Austin.
11:41: It is grossly packed in here right now.
11:44: Ha. Snoop's just pulled 20 or so girls onstage right now. It seems harmless to start, but in a moment he'll likely try and convince them to take their shirts off and start making out with each other. That's exactly how it worked on that Girls Gone Wild DVD he was on. If you're father to a daughter and she goes her entire life without ending up on a stage with Snoop Dogg, you've done your job.
11:45: Wait one second. Miss Mykie, former Rocks Off Artist of the Week, is up there. Ahahaha. Crazy bird. Has anyone been paying attention to her Mohawk lately? It's gigantic. It's less like it's a Mohawk on top of her head and more like it's a Mohawk with a Miss Mykie underneath it. Splendid.
11:50: "Mary Jane." We must be nearing the end of the night.
11:52: Cypress Hill's "Jump Around"? What the hell? Is Snoop a cover artist now? And how does this not suck? He's crushing it. This is exactly what we were talking about when we wrote last week how he's a transcendent figure but hasn't been musically transcendent since the early '90s. Everything he does is cool and impeccably timed and effortless. Blah, blah, blah.
11:54: "Drop It Like It's Hot."
11:57: Last song of the night has to be "What's My Name," right? It just has to be.
11:58: Yep. "What's My Name." Song's over, people are happy, Snoop is gone. That was probably worth the $43 he was charging to get in.
Personal Bias: He's Snoop and we're human and no human can resist his charm. Dammit.
The Crowd: Was completely duped and didn't even realize it. Or they didn't even care. Whatevs.
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Overheard In the Crowd: "I KNOW THIS ONE BY HEART!" A drunk man standing next to us said it to his date when Snoop started doing "Jump Around." He did not, in fact, know it by heart. But he did smell like he'd taken a nap in a dumpster, so that's cool.
Random Notebook Dump: In our head, every argument that we're in ends exactly like that movie Step Up 2: With a dance battle in the rain to decide who the winner is. We saw J-Mac from the Box making his way through the crowd about the midway point of the concert. He still looks extra jacked, though not quite as big as GO DJ J-Boss. Really look at those two the next time you see them out. Their arms look like goddamn triceratops legs.