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Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

So tell us... who did let the dogs out?
So tell us... who did let the dogs out?

Thursday Rocks Off brought you our list of ten favorite one-hit wonders, an endearing assortment of underdogs and left-field flukes that hit our collective Top 40 sweet spot, if only for one brief shining moment. Now the real fun starts.

But for every great song that becomes a one-hit wonder, there's probably ten awful ones that have saturated the airwaves, no doubt because there's so much more bad music than good in the world. So in that respect, our writers should have had a much easier time choosing their least favorite one-and-done chartbusters. (Odd, then, that we had two repeats... oh well.) We can only hope these songs stay gone, though far too many of them have had a near-radioactive shelf life. Why, God?

REWIND:

Our 10 Favorite One-Hit Wonders

Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

"Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-a-Lot Never has anything aged so poorly or become quite so embarrassing as dated rap hits. While there may be a certain kitschy fun to a song like "The Humpty Dance," one song has become not only completely repulsive, but stands today as a symbol of everything uncool and retch-inducing.

I'm talking about Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back." If I hear one more aggravating parody of this song written for a department-store commercial, I'm going to put a bullet in my brain. Hell, I'll probably do that if I hear the original song itself one more time. COREY DEITERMAN

"Bad Day," Daniel Powter I'm not going to lie: I've got a mind like a steel trap. Since I don't listen to pop radio and have lost any interest in novelty songs apart from the collected works of Ray Stevens, it's difficult for any insidious earworms to penetrate my defenses. But a few years ago, one did. Practically a genetically engineered cyborg of sad-sack lyrics and sappy piano, "Bad Day" became so ubiquitous on ESPN and Fox Sports highlights shows that I still pretty much stick to the games themselves. CHRIS GRAY

Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

"Barbie Girl," Aqua Never in my life have I ever been more annoyed by a song than by "Barbie Girl." It's one of the most annoying pieces of recorded music anyone has ever made. I'd rather listen to a fire alarm go off while cicadas roosted in the trees above my head during an Insane Clown Posse show while screaming babies scratched a chalkboard with their tiny baby fingernails.

What is that song anyway? How did that ever make it to my ears? What producer or major-label exec said, "Yes, that's the fucking jam! Put it on the radio!" It's not music. It's trash. And who decided to put those plastic people in the video? Is that the band? JIM BRICKER

Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

"Butterfly," Crazy Town Looking back, it's actually surprising that Crazy Town's "Butterfly" was the group's only hit. Limp Bizkit had already proved that the rap-rock formula could work, and the song's release coincided with Linkin Park's debut album, Hybrid Theory. Clearly, American youth couldn't get enough of this stuff.

But "Butterfly" and, for that matter, Crazy Town as a band didn't have any teeth. "Butterfly" was contrived, repetitive and lacking energy. But one thing is for sure: That guy's shoulder tattoos are sweeeeet. MATTHEW KEEVER

Second opinion I tried real hard to come up with a different song, but let's be honest: we should always be reminded that as a culture we let "Butterfly" by Crazy Town become the No. 1 song in the country. We let that boring, uncreative piece of tripe become the biggest song in these United States. This is our shame, and we should always be reminded of it. CORY GARCIA

Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

"Sex and Candy," Marcy Playground The problem with one-hit wonders is that they get played incessantly, oftentimes for years. That was certainly the case with Marcy Playground's "Sex and Candy," one of the most despicable hits of the '90s. Somehow, the band achieved the perfect crossover sound with that song: it was lyrically edgy enough (SEX!!) for rock radio, yet pussy enough for adult contemporary.

The result was that it was played every hour on every radio station in town -- especially during prime clock-radio wakeup time. It makes me want to punch a snooze bar in the dick to this day. "Sex and Candy" refuses to rock and it refuses to go away. I hated it the first time I heard it, and I hate it now. I will die hating it. NATHAN SMITH

 

"She's So High," Tal Bachman How do you quantify suckage? Well, you could measure it against this song, for starters. It totally blows. The lyrics are terribly unoriginal (just because you pepper your song with famous women through time, you aren't clever), and the music is just plain borrrrrrring and unmemorable.

There are a lot of one-hit wonders over time that might not be "great" songs from a technical perspective, but at least they were FUN. This song is not great nor fun. It is just super-crappy. SELENA DIERINGER

Our 10 Least Favorite One-Hit Wonders

"Who Let the Dogs Out?", Baha Men I cannot get with this song. I don't care how many commercials it's used in, or how many four-year-old kids cover it in a cute manner on YouTube, because it will always be like taking a cheese grater to my eardrums. I don't find its repetitiveness catchy or cute, and I don't understand the point in a bunch of dudes from England throwing on fake Bahamian accents and naming themselves the Baha Men.

No, dudes. You're from England, your song is disastrous, and pretending to be from a place where the sand is warm year-round is not endearing. This song is a black hole of mess, only it won't even do me the favor of swallowing me whole to relieve the pain of it all. ANGELICA LEICHT

Second opinion "The Macarena," "Barbie Girl, "MMMBop," "Counting Blue Cars": the late '90s was a great time to be a shitty flash-in-the-pan act. Probably the worst of them all has to be "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men, recorded and released in 1998 but not catching on until 2000. It's not really rap, dance, or reggae, just a poorly-produced, badly sung mess. The refrain -- the obnoxious title -- is a tuneless, literally one-note icepick to the brain, repeated ad infinitum.

This song has been popular for almost 15 years and I still don't think I've been able to make it all the way through it once. God, it's bad. JOHN SEABORN GRAY

"You're Beautiful," James Blunt "You're Beautiful" has always seemed like a strange song to me, but moreso for the fact that it somehow became a hit. While most men think it's a song to use when trying to flatter a girl, and some girl's only pay attention to the chorus, this is no simple love song. In fact, it's the musical equivalent to a Craigslist Missed Connection ad.

Now, maybe Blunt doesn't know that he could use the service for free to find the girl he thought was beautiful. Maybe he likes grand gestures. Either way, we're stuck with this one-hit wonder in all of its confessionary glory. ALYSSA DUPREE



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