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Halloween Costumes for People Who Hate Halloween Costumes

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2. Secret Service

Got a dark suit? Some mirrored glasses? Fashion your iPod (or whatever) earbud into a faux-wire and you're good to go. Another unisex option. Colombian prostitute optional -- and not necessarily advisable.

1. A Binder Full of Women

It's political, it's topical, it's so effin' easy to pull off. Two giant pieces of poster board, a funny photo/text riff of your choosing -- reference the Binders Full of Women Tumblr if you need to -- and you're done. One trip to the office supply store and you can focus on more important things. Like -- anything but Halloween.

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Christina Uticone