5. God of War: When it comes to game censorship, Saudi Arabia is like that parent who talks a big talk, but lifts your grounding after a day because he's really a big softy. There's nominally a ban on many violent and more sexual titles, but the government is not really invested in enforcing it. Getting caught buying one entails a fine that is less than a traffic ticket, and buying a black market copy is ridiculously easy.

The God of War series has plenty of boobs and blood to earn it a spot on the government's no-no list, but that's not the only reason stated. Apparently, having the word "God" in the title was the final straw. Just for a fun moment, imagine what would happen in America if we banned a game for that reason, then continue reading when ironic giggles subside.

See also: 5 Facts About School Shootings and Video Games the NRA Needs to Look At

4. Pokémon Trading Card Game: Still in Saudi Arabia, you also can't play Pokémon Trading Card there legally, which is weird because if there is any company that has hardcore stuck to their guns in not offending any people at all, it's Nintendo. The Saudi government's beef is that the card game is a type of gambling, which is an arguable point, but the main argument is that the games promote Zionism.

Many of the Pokémon cards bear what the Saudi government considers to be the Star of David, and as it's a Jewish symbol, they've issued a widespread ban on both the cards and the game adaptation. They don't seem to understand that it's not actually a Star of David but an identical Japanese symbol called a Kagome crest that is popular in games and anime and dates back to the 5th century.

3. Mass Effect: Mass Effect allows you to control either a male or a female version of the main character, Sheppard. It also allows you to make choices that end up with you boinking other characters. Singapore was fine when it was a big strapping dude, but the second it saw footage of the female Sheppard getting down with an Asari (a long-lived all-female race), the government swept into action and banned the game. Singapore eventually lifted the ban after absolutely zero other countries joined in the hatefest. Interestingly enough, in 2007 Singapore legalized oral sex for lesbians...the same year the ban was lifted.

2. Grand Theft Auto: It's not unreasonable that Grand Theft Auto would be banned in a country. It's banned in at least five nations with stricter laws regarding violent content. What's interesting about the ban in Venezuela is the result. After seeing images from the game, the legislature, under the urging of president Hugo Chavez, not only banned it but passed the Act to Ban Warlike Video Games and Toys, which essentially made every single game that involved shooting people illegal. Games and war toys were rounded up and crushed with steamrollers.

Many people felt that Chavez was looking for a scapegoat in order to draw attention away from the violent-crime rate in Venezuela, and instituted a public education campaign on the dangers of bloody video games...a danger that has not at all been proven. Chavez, always a master of understatement, called such games "the road to hell."

Rapelay: Finally, there is Rapelay, a rape simulator that has sparked bans and controversy all over the world. When I say rape simulator, I mean just that. You play a character who systematically and repeatedly rapes a mother and her two daughters over the course of play. It sounds, and is, horrible.

So horrible in fact that it actually made countries that don't ban games freakin' start. Argentina, which has never before banned a video game, did so with Rapelay. Justice Minister Juio Alak said the game is "a clear apology for sexual abuse, violation of sexual integrity, torture, discrimination against women and child abuse." Australia also banned the game, and even considered banning searching for the game in search engines. It's even hard to find in its home country of Japan now since the Ethics Organization of Computer Software rating board there cracked down after it realized that the whole thing made that country look very, very bad. Are you getting it? This is the Japanese pop culture contribution that made them finally say, "A bit much?"

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.