7. The Patriot
Braveheart was such a big hit that Mel Gibson decided to just go right ahead and star in the remake himself: This time set in America (fuck yeah!). The star's trademark flair for barbaric violence was certainly retained in this self-aggrandized bit of Revolutionary War porn, but 'round about the time the villain locks a church congregation inside and torches the place, audiences began to wonder if avenging the evils of taxation without representation was really worth the carnage.
You guessed it: Williams notched another Oscar nom for his score. Mostly, though, the music tries to pass by nonchalantly without getting too much blood on it.
6. Star Wars Ep. II: Attack of the Clones
No two ways about it: John Williams' score is the very best thing about Attack of the Clones. In fact, it's pretty much the only thing that works. Plenty of ink has been spilled in the years since its release about the ham-fisted dialogue and flat performance by Hayden Christensen, and the movie deserves all of the criticism and more. When a Star Wars film starts to drag, somebody has fucked up badly, and many a childhood was ruined by the revelation that Darth Vader was just some... tool.
5. Superman Returns
It's not quite fair to dump the mess that was Superman Returns in John Williams' lap. Director Bryan Singer approached the composer about scoring the pseudo-sequel/homage to Richard Donner's Superman flicks, but Williams was busy scoring three other films at the time. Williams recommended composer John Ottman in his place, but the new film did make use of Williams' famous "Superman March" and other themes.
As it turned out, the classic theme was about as close as Superman Returns would come to capturing the magic of the Christopher Reeves films. Singer's movie was a decidedly downbeat affair, casting the Man of Steel as an absentee father compelled to silently stalk Lois Lane while another man raised his superson. It was a new twist on the mythology, perhaps, but not one that fans particularly cared for. The franchise will be completely rebooted this summer with Man of Steel.
4. Stepmom
Stepmom boasted a solid cast led by Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts, and it even features one of Williams' better soundtracks of the '90s. The problem is that the laughably contrived tearjerker's plot simply isn't worthy of any of them. Concerned, we imagine, that the maternal tension between ex-wife Sarandon and new hotness Julia Roberts simply wasn't melodramatic enough, the filmmakers went ahead and gave Sarandon's character terminal cancer to ensure that theatergoers wept tears of gold. Ed Harris, the dad around whom the whole story revolves, is nothing more than a cipher.
A too-obvious bit of Hollywood factory farming, Stepmom earned a dismal 44 percent Tomatometer rating. Stinky.
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Despite featuring the return of Harrison Ford and Karen Allen to the roles they made famous in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull proved only that the magic was pretty much gone--happily retired in Florida, one hopes. John Williams' iconic Indy theme still sparkled during the big action scenes, but the humor and charm of the earlier films had grown cracked and dusty from disuse. A rumored spin-off franchise starring Shia LeBeouf mercifully never materialized.
