This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Thursday, August 28
On Elimidate, four people pursue one person. And those four always seem
to have desperate crushes on the fool being held up as a prize. They never say,
“You know what? He’s not my type.” But that’s okay, because Elimidate is a game — a competition to see who’s most alluring. The Bachelor, on the other hand,
is a game that shouldn’t be a game. We’re talking about holy matrimony here, and
yet the players seem content to let ABC tell them who to like. Andrew Firestone
was the most charmless, vanilla dude in the world, but that didn’t stop members
of his harem from weeping hysterically about how much they loved him. If you want
to fuck up your life on national TV, today, head to the men’s department at Foley’s
in the Galleria, where there’s a casting call for both The Bachelor
V and The Bachelorette 2. Tip: Act as dumb as possible,
displaying a herd mentality. You’ll be in like flint. 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. 5015 Westheimer.
For information, visit www.abc.com.

Friday, August 29
When your boyfriend dies, it’s time to party. At least that’s Morvern Callar’s
attitude in Lynne Ramsay’s 2002 film, also called Morvern Callar.
After discovering her man’s body — and a suicide note — on Christmas morning,
Callar goes ahead and opens his gift to her. Then she takes off with a girlfriend
to Ibiza, Spain, to live the high life on the dead guy’s dime, boozing and fucking
away. From this description, Callar might not seem like a very nice person.
But see the film, and you just might end up liking her. 8 p.m. Thursday, August
28, through Sunday, August 31. Rice Cinema, entrance no. 8, University Boulevard
at Stockton Drive. For information, call 713-348-4882 or visit www.ricecinema.rice.edu.
$5 to $6.

Saturday, August 30
We have a couple of theories about why Industry Cafe’s Labor Day Weekend
Beach Bash is open to guys 21 and up, and gals 18 and up. Maybe organizers
were intimidated by guys 18 to 21 because they peak sexually during these years.
Might as well weed out the stallions. Or, more likely, the boys aren’t allowed
in simply because they don’t have boobies. Whatever the case, it’s bullshit.
There are more important issues to protest, though, so today, don your bikini
tops, Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops and get down to tunes by DJ Wikka and the
Beat Epidemic. To underage dudes: Have the last laugh by actually going to the
beach instead of pretending you’re there. That’ll show ’em. 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.
2110 Rusk. For information, call 713-222-2233 or visit www.industrycafe.net.
Free admission.

Sunday, August 31
The bars will be hopping this Labor Day Eve since no one has to work tomorrow.
And if you do something constructive in the afternoon, you’ll feel like you
deserve a few rounds. Today at the Houston Arboretum and Nature Center, you
can learn all about worms — and not the computer kind — at “Composting
with Worms — Be a Part of Global Worming!“ The dirt-diggers that
eat dead things will do wonders for your compost pile; at the talk, you can
watch them in action. You’ll even get a worm starter kit to bring home with
you. 2 p.m. 4501 Woodway. For information, call 713-681-8433 or visit www.houstonnaturecenter.org.
Free.

Monday, September 1
Have you ever wandered through the African gold exhibit at the Museum of Fine
Arts, Houston, secretly coveting artifacts for your personal use? If so, expect
a similar experience when you see “Beyond Ornament: Contemporary Jewelry
from the Helen Williams Drutt Collection.” The unusual, mostly one-of-a-kind
pieces were created by artists from around the world. Many of the works are
not, as the exhibition’s title suggests, so experimental that you wouldn’t want
to adorn yourself with them. A snakelike silver and polyester resin necklace
made by Stanley Lechtzin in 1971, for example, would perfectly complement a
little black dress. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 1001 Bissonnet. For information, call
713-639-7300 or visit www.mfah.org.

Tuesday, September 2
Been considering transporting a couple kilos of cocaine
for a friend, just this once? Or, perhaps, butchering your lover’s lover in
a fit of rage? Before you do, we suggest visiting the Texas Prison Museum.
Retired warden James Willett, who’s overseen the execution of 89 inmates, will
show you around the place. There’s a contraband exhibit, filled with homemade
weapons confiscated from prisoners, and an inmate art exhibit. But to really
creep yourself out, take a good look at “Old Sparky,” the red electric chair
that was the undoing of 361 prisoners between 1924 and 1964. Maybe if no one’s
around Willett will let you sit in it for a moment or two. 491 Highway 75 North.
For information, call 1-800-289-1389 or visit www.txprisonmuseum.org.
$1 to $2.

Wednesday, September 3
Donna Durbin must’ve been burned by love at some point. In her exhibition, “Lifting
the Veil,” she seeks to “expand the societal myth of marriage.” This is
accomplished by creating an installation from recycled wedding dresses and tuxes,
and allowing the public to scribble its thoughts on scraps of paper and pin
them to a “story veil.” According to Durbin, together, the dresses and notes
make viewers “question our beliefs about love.” Bitter, are we? Durbin will
speak at the show’s opening reception from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at Houston Community
College Art Gallery, central campus, 3517 Austin. For information, call 713-718-6600.