One More Reason to Love Bill
Bill brakes for car chases. We had a lot of fun with the July 21 police chase in Pasadena. And now it seems, according to the AP by way of KHOU, that actor Bill Murray did, too. Murray can’t contain himself as he watches the chase while conducting an interview…
A Few Words from Ugly Naked Guy
Craig Malisow Who needs a warm blanket when you have a potentially explosive laptop? I’ve been fielding myriad questions about my recent experience at a nudist camp, ranging from “Did you get really sunburned?” to “Could you please get away from me?” (That one has been coming mostly from my…
Working on His Shooting Percentage
He shoots, he, um, gets incarcerated. Houston Rockets head coach Jeff Van Gundy stresses intelligence, good judgement and awareness on the court. It doesn’t hurt if his players exhibit the same quality off the court either. Considering former Rockets forward Lonnie Baxter’s tomfoolery, it seems a good thing that he…
Working on His Shooting Percentage
He shoots, he, um, gets incarcerated. Houston Rockets head coach Jeff Van Gundy stresses intelligence, good judgement and awareness on the court. It doesn’t hurt if his players exhibit the same quality off the court either. Considering former Rockets forward Lonnie Baxter’s tomfoolery, it seems a good thing that he…
Adventures in Spokemanning
HISD Abbott really is very charming on e-mail. Well jeez, we thought it was just us… There’s a routine that we at the Press have to follow if we dare report on HISD. We’re not to call the school district press office. Heavens no, we’re to e-mail. That’s it. Why?…
Take That, Osama!
Stop that grinnin’, camel. Normangee’s on to you. We know America can be a tense place, what with the looming threat of a terrorist attack and a war in Iraq. And it’s clear that any symbol of the Middle East — dark men with beards, women in burqas, terrorists —…
So How Big Are the Fries?
Courtesy of Bob’s BBQ & Grill They’re gonna need a bigger to-go bag. Think you’re a tough guy cuz today you’ll be lunching on a one-pound burger at Fuddruckers or Christian’s Tailgate Grill & Bar? You might be big s*** here, but you’re a wee baby in Thailand. Last week…
So How Big Are the Fries?
Courtesy of Bob’s BBQ & Grill They’re gonna need a bigger to-go bag. Think you’re a tough guy cuz today you’ll be lunching on a one-pound burger at Fuddruckers or Christian’s Tailgate Grill & Bar? You might be big s*** here, but you’re a wee baby in Thailand. Last week…
Dog Days of Duff
“Sing it with me, ‘I love Hous…um…Texas!'” August is turning out to be a busy month for H-town’s own Hilary Duff. Later today, MTV will premiere her new video, “Play with Fire,” on TRL. She’ll be on Letterman tonight to pimp her new movie, Material Girls — in which she…
We Thought It Was a Non-Contact Sport
Convenient…and deadly? And now, HouStoned presents a public service announcement about a new possible threat to our safety: golf carts. So this Sunday I set off, like I always do, on a five-mile run around the lovely neighborhood of Walden on Lake Houston in Humble. For those of you who…
Beating a (Nearly) Dead Horse
Dixie Wilson/ARTEX Some of the horses endured much more than a bumpy ride and exhaust. In April, Press staffer Josh Harkinson told a sad tale of horse slaughterhouses and horse abuse. On the coattails of that story, we have a depressing follow-up. On Thursday, Bryan Morgan was been charged with…
Not That We Don’t Love the Classics…
Think of all the money you’d save on DJs and koozies… Blame it on the train, but this weekend I was stopped in front of a lumbering mechanical beast of burden when I flipped the station and caught a throaty DJ on The Arrow spouting a promo blurb I hadn’t…
Pastoral U.
“After the game, I’m off for some rowing, old chum.” Did a double take this morning while flipping through the TV news shows. On Today, Lester Booming-Voice Holt sat with Barbara Kantrowitz of Newsweek and Seppi Bacili of Kaplan International teasing this year’s list of the 25 New Ivies. These…
Re: Chris Bell Is in Your Extended Network (?)
Seven a day keeps the Kinky away… We’ve been regularly checking up on Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Chris Bell’s MySpace page since yesterday’s posting. The numbers are looking good, as political consultants say. Yesterday, he had a mere 121 friends. Today? 128. Not bad, huh? We noticed that among the fightin’…
Wild on TSU!
Jack London couldn’t drop this kind of smack. If you can’t get enough of the continuing saga at Texas Southern University (we mean more than just dish on ousted prez Priscilla Slade), there’s a site for you. And it ain’t for the easily offended, especially if you can’t handle a…
Breaking News, Sorta
Just spoke to Marlene McClinton, spokeswoman for the Houston Airport System, about fumes emanating from a Continental Airlines jet at Bush Intercontinental Airport’s Terminal C. Three Continental employees were overcome by the fumes, which supposedly were coming from a U.S. Mail bin. The three Continental employees are being treated at…
Chris Bell Is In Your Extended Network (?)
Wanna be in his Top 120? Life can’t be much fun on the Chris Bell campaign. You’re the Democratic nominee and you’re stuck trading jabs with goofball-named candidates like Kinky and Grandma, while Governor Rick Perry sips mai-tais and looks down on you from his 15-point lead. Meanwhile, you have…
We Kinda Liked “Burrito Bowl”
Lone Star Sports & Entertainment Admit it, the logo is sex-ay… You know what college football needs? More bowls. And thanks to the pigskin gods, and to the folks at Lone Star Sports & Entertainment, we’ll have yet another come Thursday, December 28, at Reliant Stadium. On that hallowed day,…
But What About Our Aggie Jokes?
tamu.edu Quick: Spot the mental giant… Did you know Texas A&M is the fifth best university in the entire country? Yeah, neither did we. That is, until we stumbled across Washington Monthly’s Annual College Guide. After years of tearing apart the U.S. News rankings (one of the media’s favorite pastimes),…
Boy Oh Roy!
The Walt Disney Company/Buena Vista Pictures Now here’s a pirate that Pittsburgh should sign. Last night your Houston Astros took on the clunky Pittsburgh Pirates, in a game that promised to be an easy win. But a 14-1 rout? Aw, hell yeah! Clearly these Pirates needed Johnny Depp. Laugh not,…
So Long, Friendly Skies
It’s still the safest way to travel. Well, thanks a lot, terrorists. If you’re traveling by plane this morning, you’d better really dress down. By now, you’ve no doubt heard that British police have thwarted a would-be bomb plot against British flights destined for the U.S. The plot, as Brit…
Bellini Martini
The River Oaks Shopping Center might best be known for the Laff Stop, where Bill Hicks cut his teeth, or the two Starbucks across the street from each other, which were made famous by Lewis Black. But when I think of the area, I think of two things: filthy-rich honkies…
Softy Supergroup
Jazz students, marching band survivors and your great aunt all have something in common, and that’s knowledge of Blood, Sweat & Tears. Despite a revolving door of members and a plunge in album sales in the early ’70s, the pioneering jazz-rock band’s best-known hits remain staples of high school music…
Gestating Gumshoe
Saying that mystery heroine Joanna Brady is kind of a badass is like saying Jessica Simpson is mildly irritating. The recently re-elected sheriff in best-selling author J.A. Jance’s latest thriller, Dead Wrong, is eight months pregnant when the maimed body of a convicted killer surfaces in her town. No sooner…
World Trade Center
World Trade Center is about just that: the attacks on, and the collapse of, the twin towers on September 11, 2001. But 45 minutes in, a viewer might easily forget the movie is set during that nightmarish day. There is little talk of terrorism and scant suggestion that a mighty…
Beyond Salad Bowls
Though not every potter is as artsy-sensual as Demi Moore was in Ghost, the ancient art is about far more than making the typical bowls and vases. For examples, see the cutting-edge ceramics in the Houston Potters Guild’s Emerging Artist Showcase, featuring both functional and sculptural works from area college…
A Strange Land
Most venues would consider a lineup of two punk bands, a group of ’70s-style rockers and a troupe of indie rock and classical music enthusiasts to be the epitome of eclecticism. Luckily, Super Happy Fun Land specializes in eclecticism. It’s the only venue in town where concertgoers can be assured…
Little Miss Sunshine
Like the shambling VW van its hapless characters steer from Albuquerque to Redondo Beach, Little Miss Sunshine is a rickety vehicle that travels mostly downhill. How this antic extended sitcom from first-time feature makers Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris left Sundance with an eight-figure deal and reams of enthralled press…
Twisted Tales
Thirteen doesn’t have to be unlucky, and fairy tales don’t have to be for kids. Bering & Friends, a musical theater troupe, presents its lucky 13th production at the Alley Theatre, a venue that takes a little luck to land. Once Upon a Time: Fairy Tales with a Grown-up Twist!…
This Calls for a Heineken
If being lost and driving in circles prompts you to say “Look, kids, there’s Big Ben and Parliament,” and seeing a public display of affection calls for a “Dad, I think he’s gonna pork her,” then you know why National Lampoon’s European Vacation is arguably the best of the National…
Women Scorned
When a man can manipulate three smart women into hanging onto his every move, even though he treats them all like dirt, he must be something special. But one of the most intriguing aspects of Edna O’Brien’s saucy little melodrama Triptych is that we never get to meet the cad…
Ghostly Musical Resurrected
“Back by popular demand” is a term so clichéd it’s hard to use seriously. But that’s the only way to describe the return of Speeding Motorcycle. Infernal Bridegroom Productions’ rock opera, based on the work of cult singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston, opened to glowing reviews and a packed house in May…
Dirty Dancing
Being seen in your underwear is a scenario associated with sitcom-ish nightmares preceding your first day of school, but the weekly DJ night “RockBox” is turning it into a celebration with its Back to School Panty Party, with DJ Mel making a guest appearance at the turntables. “People get loose…
Capsule Reviews
The Lion King The Elton John/Tim Rice international mega-hit returns to Houston, with all its glaring faults and scenic wonders intact. For its transfer to the stage in 1997, the Disney cartoon was given a novel update by avant-garde theater director Julie Taymor, who was given free rein in her…
Portrait of the Architect as a Young Man
Before designing the see-through glass house in New Canaan, Connecticut, the spiraling Chapel on Thanks-Giving Square in Dallas or the mammoth AT&T Building in New York City, Philip Johnson designed the University of St. Thomas – almost all of it. “St. Thomas was Johnson’s first big project,” says Jim Parsons,…
This Tart’s for You
Seven bucks may seem like a lot to pay for a sweet tart, but the coconut almond cream cheese tart at Tart Cafe (4411 Montrose, 713-526-8278) is well worth it. At least one inch thick and four inches in diameter, it looks more like a quiche than a tart. A…
The Orange Show
The votes have been tallied, the drums have been bashed, the raps have been spit, the accordions have been squeezed, the guitar chords have been strummed and the hardware has been handed out. Music Awards ’06 is now in the history books. And man, was it fun. The newly compact…
Too Much Information
Group shows without themes are almost always problematic. Just when you’re getting into a groove, actually beginning to care what this or that artist is trying to do, up pops something completely different and off you go again. Juried shows are even worse; instead of a curator gathering pieces based…
Slide Show Manifesto
Reading an artist’s statement without the aid of visuals is often an experiment in “huh?” Appreciating this, the folks at Lawndale Art Center hope to illuminate the artists in “The Big Show” by inviting them to explain themselves with “The Big Slide Show,” a two-night presentation in which artists are…
Ugly and Slow
Just off Market Square, near the center of the area that’s supposed to be triggering a downtown revival, one property owner has persisted in keeping up ugly, sidewalk-blocking scaffolding and barriers. The eyesores have been there for more than two years; the property owner, not satisfied with simply annoying downtown…
Capsule Reviews
“Courbet and the Modern Landscape” Realist painter Gustave Courbet (1819-1877) is widely considered the forerunner of the impressionists for his “radical” self-expression at a time when the popular French Salon championed conservative, narrative painting. That said, don’t expect anything as provocative as his 1866 works The Origin of the World…
From Dog to Glam
You’re panting, your face is drooping with the weight of a thousand sweat drops, and your hair is ravaged from frequent jumping through lawn sprinklers. Face it: The dog days of summer are turning you into…a dog. While we love our canine friends, it’s hard to have a healthy self-image…
Letters to the Editor
Right or Wong? Time for a turnover: Thank you for your recent article about Ellen Cohen and Martha Wong [“Changes in Attitude,” by Josh Harkinson, July 27]. As a constituent of District 134, I’m ready for new leadership. I honestly can’t think of one time Martha Wong has voted the…
Why Do You Do Your ‘Dos the Way You Do?
Dear Mexican, I just don’t get Mexicans and their grooming. The men slick their hair with baby oil, gel or Vaseline, or just shave it all off. The women wear it in ponytails with neon-green hairbands or in pigtails, or wear bangs created with the biggest curling iron in the…
Follow that Birdie
Elvis was still relatively thin when Bye Bye Birdie debuted on Broadway in 1960, satirizing rock and roll and then-contemporary teen culture. But 46 years later, there’s still a nostalgic charm that keeps audiences smirking as the play’s teenagers tie up the phone lines in “The Telephone Hour.” (Those wacky…
For the Sake of the Song
Don’t let Corinne Bailey Rae’s baby-soft voice fool you. She might sound like a delicate waif, but the sensitive singer-songwriter becomes an exacting taskmaster in the recording studio. “I have to be both,” she says. “When I’m writing, I can be emotional, but when I’m in the studio, I have…
Ant Wussy
Publisher: Midway Games
Platform: PS2, GC, GBA, PC
Price: $19.99-$29.99
ESRB Rating: E 10+ (for Everyone 10 and older)
Score: 3 (out of 10)
Bakery-Fresh Battle
A flash of inspiration hit Franco Tijero in the form of a wad of masticated bread dough. After a day of delivering food to the homeless, Tijero and his cohorts were catching a bite themselves when a friend playfully spat the fateful lump at Tijero, leading to a food fight…
Hope Springs Eternal
Every so often, we like to head over to Amazon.com and check out their “purchase circles.” This feature allows you to see what sells particularly well in selected cities, companies and schools. As Amazon puts it, “no matter where you live, work, or go to school, we’ll likely have a…
Whodunit High
Brick (Universal) Rian Johnson’s feature debut as writer-director will wind up as one of the year’s best films. A film noir set in a modern-day high school, it’s Sam Spade roaming Ridgemont High; kids get doped up and knocked up and even rubbed out while speaking pulp-novel slang, but the…
From Catwalks to Comedy Clubs
The phrases “off-color comedian,” “sexual progressive” and “God-fearing Christian Republican” wouldn’t usually describe the same person, but busty Sheryl Underwood happily describes herself as all three. The road-warrior comedienne and host of BET’s Comic View stomps on lefty politics and dishes out raunchy sex humor in the same set. An…
Don’t Be a Squibb
A geek’s delight, Boston’s Harry and the Potters are coming through town on their first national tour. The band, obviously, has a J.K. Rowling fixation: Brothers Paul and Joe DeGeorge each portray Harry, the former as Harry in his Seventh Year, the latter as Harry in his Fourth Year. They…
Our top DVD picks for the week of August 8
Adam and Steve (TLA) Back Woods (Terror Vision) Beautiful People: The Complete Series (Sony) Clone (Image) Damon Wayans’ Last Stand (Fox) Frat Boy Collection (Fox) Gilles’ Wife (Koch Lorber) Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (Image) Grounded for Life: Season 3 (Anchor Bay) The Hidden Blade (Tartan) Inside Man (Universal) Jayne…
Faster Pussycat! Grind! Grind!
On its MySpace page, the buzz-saw-swift metal band Faster Pussycat describes its sound as “music to fuck to” and, even more than most bands formed in the ’80s glam-metal boom, the group maintains a constant sex theme. The band takes its name from Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, a movie by…
Awesome Blossoms
“There’s a white girl waving at you,” Conchita says. “Where?” “Over there.” She points to our friend Lola who is walking up the sidewalk toward us. “That’s not a white girl, that’s Lola,” I tell Conchita, giving her my best “You’re so stupid” look. “Are you sure?” she says, squinting…
Image of the Week
Heavy-metal bands seeking the latest in intimidating guitars should check out the Death Shark 4000, which is apparently at least a 14-string (those two extra strings kick ass on “Stairway to Heaven,” to be sure). The ax is available at the Houston Aquarium. Click here to enlarge…
Spare the Blade
You may have heard that the Crystal Method’s music was played during the blood-bathed rave scene in Blade or that the duo scored the Matrix trilogy. Neither rumor is true, but it’s easy to understand why many beat-heavy soundtracks are attributed to the Method. The twosome helped define the “big…
The Rippingtons
Smooth jazz kings the Rippingtons are celebrating two decades together with a new CD, 20th Anniversary, and a nationwide tour. In 1986 Russ Freeman and the Rippingtons came on the music scene with their own brand of smooth jazz. Something more accessible than straight-ahead jazz but still intelligent; smooth jazz…
Some Like It Hot
The City of Houston’s building occupancy permit does not, as far as I know, stipulate what kind of restaurant can do business at a particular site. But you might think otherwise when you consider the curious case of 1226 Westheimer. By rough count, this strip-center location deep in the heart…
Return of the Alt-Country King
If the “alternative country” genre can be defined, Alejandro Escovedo is one of its defining artists. Combining the fiery spirit of his ´70s punk band the Nuns with the rootsy rhythms of his ´80s Los Lobos-ish outfit True Believers, Escovedo’s ´90s solo output earned him the title “Artist of the…
Ricardo Arjona
Who could have imagined that a Guatemalan taxi driver, who used to spend hours fighting traffic and smog in Mexico City, would years later become one of the most outstanding artists in the pop en espaol field? But that’s exactly what Ricardo Arjona did. Arjona is romantic (his females fans…
“Booty”-licious
For all that’s changed since 1973, booty-shakin’ is an area that’s been essentially untouched. Sure, there might not be too many people sporting clogs and leisure suits while they do it, but bumpin’ your bottom to the beat is what it is. Perhaps that’s why KC & the Sunshine Band,…
One from the Heart
The red ribbons have mostly disappeared from celebrity lapels, but AIDS, which plagues 24,000 Houstonians, is still an epidemic in our midst. To commemorate the ongoing struggle against the disease, first identified 25 years ago, Theatre New West presents a revival of 1985’s call to arms The Normal Heart. Based…
The Clientele
After a false start in 1991, Alasdair MacLean (vocals, guitar) and James Hornsey (bass) relaunched the British band the Clientele in 1997. Known for their soft, mellow pop that’s best heard when you’re in a first-love daze, the Clientele (Mark Keen on drums rounds out the trio) says it plays…
Return of the Native
Houston hipsters are no strangers to former Houston Press contributor Brian McManus and his alter ego Filthy McNasty, front man of the funk rock spectacle the Rhinestone Life. But what can fans expect from the Life’s homecoming performance at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston’s Starbucks Mixed Media Music Series?…
Never a Blue Mood
Living with cerebral palsy, Josh Blue was aware of the stares he received. But rather than shy away, the bushy, bearded St. Paul native decided “to give them something to stare at.” Blue’s struggle to live with his illness has become the bedrock of his stand-up routine, which has been…
The Terms
Looking for something that rocks hard, has plenty of licks, interesting rhythms, several great voices and smarty-pants lyrics with hooks galore? Look no further than the Terms. These Baton Rouge young guns make all the right moves on Small Town Computer Crash, which was produced in Los Angeles. The title…
Rolling in the Aisles
Though best known for staging stories from the Good Book, Houston’s A.D. Players presents a wider range of family-friendly fare. In the musical comedy Smoke on the Mountain, theatergoers are transported to 1938 Appalachia, where the fictional Sanders Family Singers (think of a G-rated version of characters from Robert Earl…
Cool Water
Expect a cool reception at Watercolor Arts Society-Houston’s “Watercolor Ends the Summer” today. Not standoffish, mind you, but mellow and soothing. “I would describe it as refreshing and bright, with something for everyone,” says WAS-H public relations director Karen Houston. “Watercolor Ends the Summer,” this month’s edition of the “Watermedia”…