High on the Hog
Katy pig-racer Craig Baker told Hair Balls last week he expected The Daily Show segment on his battle with a neighboring Muslim group to turn out well. Baker says he knows what The Daily Show is all about, but — somehow — he thinks he won’t be made to look…
Playbill: Cory Morrow
Cory Morrow Be sure and catch Cory Morrow at Pub Fiction tonight for FREE! (Don’t you love free?) Pub Fiction, 2303 Smith, 713-400-8400. This show is part of the Houston Press Concert Series, with free shows the last Wednesday of every month…
Jesus, That’s Some Sweet Ink!
Keith Plocek for HouStoned Images Ltd., Ulmtd. Creciendo en Gracia is an organization that’s definitely divinely inspired, at least when it comes to working the press. After our take on Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda came out last November, various media outlets — not to mention an odd string of…
Live Shots: Scott Miller
At a youthful 38 years of age, Scott Miller seems to be settling in to his prime. The Virginia native and former V-Roy is now in the enviable position of being able to travel the country alone — with only a guitar and a roadie/driver — and pack Mucky Duck-size…
Cowboy Up
The rodeo opened yesterday, which we guess is proof that enough people survived the Barbecue Cookoff. You can pick up the Press this week for our take on the scene, but here’s one thing that didn’t make it in: Leroy Shafer’s picks for the five best rodeo concerts he’s seen…
Geese, Ganders and G-strings
The Smoking Gun We will never forget our lost brothers. Last month we ran an item in which we directed you to the Smoking Gun to peep some pics of the poor lasses who’d been busted at Treasures. In the interest of equal time, we now direct you back to…
Skating By
How weird. PUSH’s site no longer calls us the Houston DePressing. Barry Blumenthal was at it again today, beating his drums for the proposed public skate park in Houston proper. He and his group, Public Use Skateparks for Houston, aka PUSH, have been trying to raise money to fund the…
Re: Flash Back
Jon Matthews, he of the “whoops, I accidentally exposed my genitals to a little girl,” just got three years for violating his probation, according to the Chron. Matthews, of course, is best known for his work as a writer of erotic fiction: The report said the Texas Attorney General’s Office…
Re: Dirty Money
Keith Plocek for HouStoned Images Ltd., Ulmtd. So you might’ve heard that TXU has been sold to Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co. and the Texas Pacific Group. This leaves Guv Rick Perry’s plan for coal-fired plants more up in the air than, well, a bunch of coal-fired carcinogens. But the…
Song of Sommore
Spike Lee chose comedian Sommore to participate in The Queens of Comedy, a follow-up to The Original Kings of Comedy, for her tendency to address subjects most women are too modest to discuss. An example from one of her bits: “He asked me what my favorite position was. I told…
This Just In: Music World Acquires Compadre
At first it seems a hard circle to square — the same local label group serving as the home of both Billy Joe Shaver and James McMurtry and Beyonce/Destiny’s Child and the Dreamgirls soundtrack, but that’s just what has happened. Earlier this morning, the following announcement came in over the…
This Just In: Music World Acquires Compadre
At first it seems a hard circle to square — the same local label group serving as the home of both Billy Joe Shaver and James McMurtry and Beyonce/Destiny’s Child and the Dreamgirls soundtrack, but that’s just what has happened. Earlier this morning, the following announcement came in over the…
Rotation: Explosions in the Sky
Like bombastic fellow Austinites . . . And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Explosions in the Sky set out to make albums as big as Texas, but in their hands the goal seems somehow more modest. Though they fit their musical ideas into outsized settings, the…
To Do: Pub Crawl on Friday
Houstonians can celebrate Texas Independence by freeing themselves from their cars on Friday. Our fellow bloggers at Houstonist are sponsoring a Light Rail Pub Crawl to celebrate the state holiday. “A lot of Texas heroes really enjoyed their alcohol, so we figured this was a good way to celebrate their…
Take a Guess
Apparently Ben “Bueller…Bueller…Bueller” Stein had a less-than-stellar experience recently at a Houston hotel. He writes (in what seems to be a pretty pointless piece) in yesterday’s New York Times: In my hotel room in Houston, my phone did not work. I called the desk staff to ask that they turn…
Re: We Always Knew We Were Ahead of the Curve When It Comes to Sexual Experimentation
Looks like James Campbell, reader rep for the Chron, thinks the paper went too far with its story about Anna Nicole Smith’s lesbian lover. So, let’s do the accounting: Essentially, we overplayed an old story that is based on the word of one woman — a self-admitted recovering drug addict…
Sweet Mary, Mother of God!
Ever notice how the Virgin Mary kinda-sorta looks like a butt plug? Me neither — that is, until I saw the photo in Saturday’s Chronicle accompanying a story on how the Mother of God manifested on a baking sheet at an elementary school cafeteria on Houston’s eastside. Apparently a lot…
Performance Art
It’s time again to see if your dance skills are as priceless as fine art. The Starbucks Mixed Media Series is once again turning the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston into a hot spot for cheap drinks and scantily clad ladies. Oh yes, we’re sure you really are excited about…
Playbill: Albert & Gage
Along with folks like Dana Cooper, Albert & Gage could be poster children for the Kerrville Nation. Christine Albert and Chris Gage are exactly the kind of folk duo you’d imagine if someone asked you to imagine an Austin folk duo. You want some meaningful poetic stuff? They’ve got it…
We Always Knew We Were Ahead of the Curve When It Comes to Sexual Experimentation
The Chron has a story today about Sandi Powledge, who was Anna Nicole Smith’s lesbian lover back in the day. The article talks about their first date, their favorite bar, their visit to the convenience store to pick up Anna Nicole’s first Playboy appearance. It discusses Powledge’s photo album, her…
Tequila!
This is Barbecue from the G.I. Joe cartoon. And yes, he really has nothing to do with the rodeo. The boots and cowboy hats were out in full force last night for the kickoff to the Houston Rodeo cook-off. It used to be pretty easy to scam your way into…
Ask, and Ye Shall Receive
www.sekulagibbsforcongress.com There’s just something so very D.C. about her. Over at Off the Kuff, Charles Kuffner has plans to interview the candidates vying for the City Council seat vacated by Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, and he’s asked his readers to offer up some suggested questions. We’ve got a few: Are you a…
This Kool-Aid is Delicious!!
At the very least, he’s gonna be an asset in bench-clearing brawls. Two things we know about Houston Chronicle sports columnist Richard Justice: 1) For some reason, he is far better, more engaging, much easier to take when he’s on the radio as opposed to when he’s in print; and…
Idol Chatter
Tonight’s the Night, and it ain’t gonna be alright for an unlucky four contestants, each of whom already have pre-edited “Bad Day” montages waiting to be cued. Here are my predictions. MALES Should go: Paul Kim, Jared Cotter Will go: Paul Kim, Nicholas Pedro Kim’s anti-Hung anti-shoe shtick has already…
More Fodder for the Conspiracy Theories
TMZ reports that John “Texas” O’Quinn, lawyer for Anna Nicole Smith’s mother, has collapsed in court, apparently suffering from diabetic shock. Check out the comments here for some classic Abbott and Costello bickering. — Keith Plocek You can read Rich Connelly’s story on O’Quinn here…
You Knew the Lawyers Would Get to This Eventually
BREAKING: We’ve just received word from lawyer Kevin Pennell that a legal team will be filing a lawsuit on Monday “challenging the City of Houston’s red light camera scheme.” The petition is based on the argument that the City lacks the authority to enact civil fines against red-light runners and…
There Are Some Real Creeps on That Site
So I was verifying the license status of a private investigator on the Texas Department of Public Safety’s website, when lo and behold, I discover that someone over there is a big ol’ Radiohead fan. Check out the name they use as a search example: Thom Yorke — you know,…
Eat That, New York!
Slate had an article yesterday on Houston’s own Sysco, the nation’s largest food wholesaler, responsible for meals at Yankee Stadium, the Four Seasons, Applebee’s and Club Gitmo. You can check out the article here, or read the HouStoned CliffsNotes version after the jump, courtesy of MS Word’s AutoSummarize function. —…
Eat That, New York!
Slate had an article yesterday on Houston’s own Sysco, the nation’s largest food wholesaler, responsible for meals at Yankee Stadium, the Four Seasons, Applebee’s and Club Gitmo. You can check out the article here, or read the HouStoned CliffsNotes version after the jump, courtesy of MS Word’s AutoSummarize function. —…
Who’s the Ford Tough Guy Now?
We hear the thieves are big fans of its offroad handling capabilities. Earlier this month we told you how Ford really is the best in Texas, in terms of getting stolen, that is. Turns out Ford trucks are also the most popularly ganked vehicles in Houston as well. All of…
Cougar
You have to admire an ambitious rock band, even if you don’t really want to listen to its music. Cougar is such a band. Calling its sound “emergency rock,” Cougar gives listeners a synthesis of aural and visual (through album photographs) experience, experimenting with all manner of traditional and nontraditional…
Chick Flick
Shut Up & Sing (Genius) It’s a shame that one of 2006’s best documentaries is being released without extras; it would have been nice, for instance, to hear feisty Natalie Maines talk with directors Barbara Kopple and Cecilia Peck about her reaction to the film, in which the Dixie Chicks…
Hella
This record is dense — as though Hella spliced the masters with dark matter, and it’s creating its own gravity well as it sits on my desk. Everything rolls toward it, and a low rumble emanates from the jewel case. Where does all this weight come from? Engineer JR Thompson…
Channel Surfing
So you’ve beaten Zelda and can hurl a 90 mph fastball in Wii Sports without shattering your 50-inch plasma. Now what? It’s time to explore the rest of the “channels” — some included, and most free to download. Like cable TV, Nintendo’s offerings range from CNN-worthy usefulness to stuff we’d…
BARR
It’s not exactly rap, and it’s not exactly spoken-word poetry. So what exactly is it that BARR does? We’ll call it experimental art/pop storytelling. On their second release, Summary, Brendan Fowler fairly spews forth deeply emotional, stream-of-consciousness reflections on the state of the world, music marketing and the nature of…
Our top DVD picks for the week of February 22
Apartment Zero (Anchor Bay) Babel (Paramount) The Bros. (Lions Gate) Crooked (Lions Gate) Crossover (Sony) Curious George: Zoo Night and Other Animal Stories (Universal) Dark Castle Horror Collection (Warner Bros.) Flushed Away (Paramount) For Your Consideration (Warner Bros.) Gandhi: 25th Anniversary Collector’s Edition (Sony) A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints…
Hot Buttered Rum
Whether you call it “newgrass” or “jamgrass,” that mythical musical intersection where Bill Monroe fronts Phish is attracting more and more converts. Bands like Railroad Earth, Two High String Band, Yonder Mountain String Band and New Monsoon are making the ten-minute mandolin jam a reality as they blend rural American…
The Goods, the Bad & the Ugly
The members of The Goods have known each other for a long time. All four of them grew up together in Humble, just north of Houston. The entire band currently resides in singer/songwriter/guitarist Jesse Flores’s childhood home. They have converted the garage into a practice space and recording studio and…
Cradle of Filth
Cradle of Filth has been polarizing metal heads for 15 years. While the British band’s fan base goes rabid for its bombastic black/thrash song-suites, others just loathe the group. Hard-core black-metal fans resent the act for getting lumped in with their hermetic and surly genre, accurately claiming that no group…
Image of the Week
What is real, and what is not? Here’s a hint — the fake part is attached to a large metal pole. Someone, we know not who, has decided to bring a little piece of the sky to a North Loop billboard. To view the image larger, Click Here…
Boil and Reduce
According to Larousse Gastronomique, the name of the classic French fish soup bouillabaisse is derived from two words: bouillir (to boil) and abaisser (to reduce). It refers more to a cooking method than a recipe, since, as with so many dishes, there is no definitive formula, with cooks adding whatever…
Haute Dogs and Hotties
The “Texas Haute Dog” at Max’s Wine Dive, the wildly popular new wine bar and restaurant on Washington Avenue, goes for $14. It’s a grass-fed beef frankfurter on a Kraftsmen bun, topped with “house-made” pickled jalapeños, venison chili, cotija cheese and crispy fried onions that look remarkably like the Durkees…
17 + 6 – 5 + 1 – 3 + 7 = 23!
The Number 23 grips hold of one stupid idea and runs so far with it, in so many directions, to such little purpose, that it nearly won me over from sheer berserkoid effort. In a nutshell, this nutso movie observes what happens to a man (Jim Carrey) under the impression…
THE TAVERN ON GRAY’S
It’s Poker Night at The Tavern on Gray (1340 West Gray, 713-522-5152), and the only people in the bar who aren’t silent and trying their best to keep a poker face are my friend Craig and me. Since we both suck at poker, we’ve been swapping stories while drinking beer…
Death Becomes her
Karen Moncrieff’s The Dead Girl is the scrap-bag opposite of a torture-porn movie — or more precisely, a patchwork made up of the material that wannabe snuff flicks elide. Picture the scene, for example, in the recent Turistas, where a topless woman is sliced open on an operating table, only…
Behind the Music
Morally irreproachable and flat as a pancake, Michael Apted’s Amazing Grace is set among bickering House of Commoners in late-18th-century London, but the movie belongs squarely in the currently blooming subgenre of Whites Saving Dark-skinned Victims of Empire. Or at least it would were Apted able to bring a little…
Homeless in Suburbia
Michael Lyddon lies slumped over a school desk, his face smooshed into the crook of his right elbow. With his teacher’s blessing, the 17-year-old junior at Austin High School in Fort Bend Independent School District spends his last period of the day napping. When the bell rings he staggers outside,…
Fly Me to the Moon
In 2003, Mark and Michael Polish made Northfork, though just barely; the brothers, also responsible for art-house fave Twin Falls Idaho, about conjoined twins who fall for the same woman, lost funding just before shooting began and had to beg for money to finish their reverie about lost souls wandering…
Moment in the Sun
Craig Baker owns a marble shop out in the Katy prairie, but that’s not what he’s most known for these days. Instead he’s known for racing pigs. Baker’s the guy who got upset when the Katy Islamic Association purchased land next to his to build a mosque. Baker now has…
The Good East German
We Americans complain of Big Brother’s unblinking eye in the post-Patriot Act, corporate e-mail era — as well we should. But, as The Lives of Others makes plain, things could be worse. Set in East Berlin circa 1984, when one in 100 citizens of the German Democratic Republic was a…
The Gospel of mewithoutYou
Rock Star Rule No. 1: When you’re performing onstage and someone in the crowd yells “We love you!” to you, you should shout “We love you, too” in return. It’s just polite. Aaron Weiss, front man for the indie group mewithoutYou, must have been absent the day they taught that…
Grand Jury
A long time ago in a television galaxy far, far away — the 1950s — there thrived a form of popular entertainment that brought original drama into the homes of average Americans, many of whom had never stepped into a Broadway theater in their lives. Broadcast live from studios in…
The Head of the Class
Allen Hill, Houston’s High Priest of the Oldies, never thought of himself as an American Idol kind of guy. Like a lot of hip people, he deemed the show cheesy, an example of everything that is wrong with music in America. Until now. This season he’s riveted to the show,…
Stage Capsule Reviews
Charlie & Out at Sea Having lived under Communist domination, modern Polish migr writer Slawomir Mrozek thrives in the “theater of the absurd” as if he were a hothouse exotic bloom, fragrant but deadly, colorful but showing rot around the edges. His early short works — two of which, from…
Musical Food Groups
You often hear that certain music is “cheesy.” That’s all well and good, but what kind of cheesy? Is it hard cheesy or runny cheesy? Processed or organic? Is the cheesy music in question more akin to Fontina Val D’Osta or plain old Velveeta? Wack aims to answer those questions…
Good Budd
On the floor at Lawndale Art Center rests a globe — just your typical globe, save for the fake explosives duct-taped to it. A couple of mini-American flags are sticking out of the charges, which are adorned with sticker logos from Exxon, Texaco, Shell and the rest, not to mention…
Swing It, Girl!
Rumors about a “swing girl” have lured me to the still newish Club Four (410 Main, 713-228-1444). While she’s not exactly the stripper-meets-trapeze-artist of my imagination (she’s actually just a petite young woman who sits in a large padded swing above the bar, swinging and writhing to the music throughout…
Art Capsule Reviews
“Brooke Stroud: New Drawings” and “Michael Petry: In the Garden of Eden” There are two new exhibitions at Devin Borden Hiram Butler Gallery — one is subtle, the other subtly subversive. Brooke Stroud’s colored pencil drawings on gray cardboard have an Agnes Martin vibe to them. The cardboard looks like…
Beat Kings
In Beat Kings: The History of Hip Hop, Wu-Tang Clan’s DJ Mathematics has assembled a revealing documentary from the point of view of the genre’s architects. The DVD is an entertaining crash course in the nitty-gritty of hip-hop’s evolution from turntables to ProTools. The interview clips — concisely organized into…
The Governator talks smack
THREE-QUESTION ESPECIAL Dear Mexican, Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger keep putting his foot in his mouth and talking smack about MEXICANS? To my understanding, his wife Maria is of Mexican descent. He’s not only humiliating nuestra raza, but his wife, too. Please give the readers and me some input on the…