Bus Rider’s Nightmare: Man Hassles Her, Follows Her off the Bus & Rapes Her
Suspected of rape.Houston Police and Crime Stoppers are looking for help in finding a man who was the nightmare no bus passenger wants to endure. Last Wednesday at 1:45 p.m., a 31-year-old woman was walking to the Metro stop at Wayside Drive and Lawndale when she was approached by a…
Last Night: Alabama At Reliant Stadium
Alabama RodeoHouston, Reliant Stadium February 28, 2012 It must be an accident of fate that Alabama is considered a country band at all, let alone the most successful group in country music history. With more than 65 million records sold, not to mention an armload of CMA, ACM and American…
Michael Jordan’s $29,000,000 Mansion Is for Sale — 6 Fun Facts
With his divorce over five years old and his kids now all grown up and college age, I guess it’s time for Michael Jordan to officially pull up stakes in Chicago and sell the old homestead. And it appears he’s doing just that, as Jordan placed his Highland Park, Illinois,…
They Don’t Have Tacos In the Suck, Part 3
This is Part 3 of a four-part series: They Don’t Have Tacos In the Suck, which chronicles an afternoon taco truck crawl with my best friend from college, an Air Force EOD sergeant whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. “Let’s get…
Fashion: Philosophy for Everyone Takes Fashion Seriously
Those of us who have a passion for fashion are often asked why we care so much about something so (arguably) frivolous. The truth is fashion is not all that frivolous, but even when it is, there is a place for that, too. In Fashion: Philosophy for Everyone, editors Jessica…
King’s X Marks The Spot: Three Bands Spawned by Houston’s Hard-Rock Power Trio
As many local music fans and members of the hard-rock/metal scene, King’s X drummer Jerry Gaskill had a heart attack Saturday. Fortunately, according to bandmate DUg Pinnick, he seems to be responding to treatment and the prognosis appears to be good for the founding member of Houston’s third most-recognized musical…
Ingredient of the Week: Korean Barbecue Marinades
When you want Korean barbecue, and you want it fast, prepared meat marinades are the way to go. Now you can have a weekday dinner that’s both quick and tasty. What is it? Bulgogi, which translates to “fire meat” in Korean, involves cooking marinated beef, pork, or chicken over a…
A Chat with Jeff Arnett, Master Distiller at Jack Daniel’s
Jack and Coke. Love it or hate it, it’s a staple in Houston bars, and not having Old No. 7 on hand might get you a dirty look or two. Jack Daniel’s, however, is much more than a mix-in. It’s made in the oldest licensed distillery in the United States,…
Walter Wright & the Feds’ Attack on Online Poker: A Tale of a $2.5 Billion Industry
April 15, 2011 is known as Black Friday in the online-poker world, the day the feds seized the assets and shut down the three biggest companies serving the American market — PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker. Among the people affected: Walter Wright, a former Houstonian who was making…
Rocks Off’s Ultra-Hip Rodeo Concert Guide: Kid Rock
Date: February 29 Name: Kid Rock AKA: “Bob Ritchie” Genre: Mullet rap…
Million Dollar Quartet Has a Thin Plot, But Who Cares? It’s Rocking the Hobby Center
The setup: Great balls of fire, what a concert! You’ll leave with your hands chapped from frenzied applause, while your memories of those spittin’ days of early rock ‘n’ roll are professionally massaged into nostalgic jelly. Talk about a show with built-in “ahhh” appeal. Anyone who ever bopped to classic…
Cornbreadd Goes To Washington: Maurice Duhon Talks U.S. House Campaign
Cornbreadd – make that Maurice Duhon Jr. – is, to use a term of the trade, good copy. He’s articulate, opinionated and effervescent, a tireless self-promoter with a genuine concern for and interest in the welfare of others – first his fans as the rapping front man of Houston Press…
Parking Problems at Pampa Grill
Attention, Inner Loopers: You can lay claim to a host of issues that are all your own, but not parking problems. They exist all over town. Yes, even here at Pampa Grill — the subject of this week’s cafe review — in far west Houston at a little strip center…
RIP Davy Jones, Monkees Singer And Pop Idol
Davy Jones, lead singer of ’60s pop sensations and television band The Monkees has died at the age of 66 in his hometown of Indiantown, Florida, according to the Martin County medical examiner’s office. He suffered a heart attack. The Monkees were created initially to be a sort of “safe”…
Science Fixins’: A Dream Meal Made of Fictional Foods
What’s the greatest science fiction film of all time? If you didn’t just go, “Oh, Blade Runner,” I want you now to imagine me shooting you the bird as I walk away. As I was re-watching it for the ump-teenth time the other afternoon, I couldn’t help but get hungry…
RIP, Davy Jones: 5 Odd Facts About Him
Davy Jones, lead singer of The Monkees, died today at 66. He never outgrew the manufactured pop-band thing, but he made a nice living out of it and came to grips with his career. A career which had some oddities, such as: 5. He got started on the British equivalent…
Montrose, Meet Your New Congressman: Ted Poe, Homophobe
It looks like Texas just might finally have a redistricting map, after several tries. If this one goes through, Montrose will be represented by…Ted Poe. Now, it’s not like the neighborhood has been represented by a GLBT-friendly rep prior to redistricting; John Culberson is a hardcore rightwinger whose constituents are…
Reality Bites: Dance Moms
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch them all, one at a time. “I was out by myself in the graveyard I was doing an interpretive dance” – They Might Be Giants Lifetime’s Dance Moms was recommended for “Reality Bites” by a friend…
Tasting Notes: This Week in Wine Blogs
TX Wine Lover: As the still youthful Texas wine industry continues to grow and find its footing (shifting away from the California Chardonnay-Cabernet-Sauvignon-Merlot paradigm), a handful of European grape varieties (beyond the classics of Bordeaux and Burgundy) have emerged as winners. Their success is owed in part to how they…
Comment of the Day: Defending the Man Who Invented Sadie Hawkins Day
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Best Comics in February Part 1: The Wisdom of Ralph Wiggum, and Glenn Beck’s Ethnic Spidey Nightmare
Once a month the amazing staff at 8th Dimension Comics selects a pile of the best new releases for us to peruse and judge. It’s a big selection this month so we’ll be splitting it into two parts. Tune in tomorrow for part two. Ralph Wiggum #1 Though Ralph Wiggum…
Last Night: Dropkick Murphys At House Of Blues
Dropkick Murphys House of Blues February 28, 2012 Check out photos of last night’s sold out Dropkick Murphys show at House of Blues. Everybody’s Irish at a Dropkick Murphys show. Tuesday night at House of Blues, Rocks Off saw more shamrock-festooned gear and Boston Red Sox caps than should normally…
Cowboy Diaries: Rhen Richard — He and His Bro Look to Make It All the Way
Steve JansenRhen Richard, tie-down roping and team ropingTrue cowboys are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair…
Whatever March! The Top 5 Lamest Lions
You have probably heard the old saying “March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb.” Obviously, whoever came up with this concept never lived in Houston, Texas. There is no doubt that the weather this past winter, if we can even call it winter, has been…
Top 5 Most Awesomely Insane Things Done By Nick Cave
Nick Cave remains in a class by himself. On one hand, he’s the most gothic person alive, but on the other he’s so unique in his contributions that when we sat down to make a list of all the different eras of goth music, we simply had to leave him…
Sundae Sundays: Homemade Tropical Sundae
End-of-February/early March is usually not the peak period of ice cream consumption; I recall even that the Dairy Queen in my town shut down just after Christmas to re-open again in May. A boisterous warm front, however, swept through Virginia during one of my weekend visits, and my ice cream…
Bento Bliss: Competitors Study the Art of Lunch
The Epicurean Cooking School in Rice Epicurean on Fountainview was at its maximum capacity of 40 on Saturday, February 25. The big draw: the Bento Contest, which was organized by the Consulate-General of Japan at Houston. It was sponsored by The Epicurean Cooking School and Satake USA, Inc., which makes,…
Fiskadoro: A Techno Adventure In Dubai
“When Jen and I moved to Texas multiple people told us not to do it ‘because they killed Kennedy.’ The JFK assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald, Jack Ruby etc. – it seems to be to be a metaphor for the start of all the madness around us.” – Fiskadoro’s Richard Kimball…
Jackson Gay Tackles Red, Mark Rothko, and the Cycle of Birth and Death
Even though artist Mark Rothko was a difficult man to be around, had two failed marriages and committed suicide, director Jackson Gay finds his story inspiring. Gay is back in Houston to direct the Alley Theatre production of Red, based on the two years when Rothko was putting together murals…
Carmel Foster: Her Backroom Breast-Injection Style Definitely Not Doctor-Approved
Police have arrested the owner of Tyler’s Queen Diva salon for giving unlicensed breast injections to customers, but “unlicensed” doesn’t begin to cover it. The arrest affidavit for Carmel Foster describes a procedure that would send any sane woman running, even in East Texas. The complainant said a cousin had…
Goat Milk Blues: Celebrity Goat Milking at RodeoHouston (w/Video)
On Tuesday afternoon I went down to the Reliant Center to try my hand yet again at milking a goat in the Celebrity* Goat Milking Contest put on by rodeo organizers. I was in competition with various radio and television personalities from around town, like Outlaw Dave, Pepito, and Theresa…
Laura Lark’s “Liveable Forest” Is Cool as Ice
This winter, the closest you can come to ice is at the Devin Borden Gallery. Laura Lark’s latest show with Borden, “The Liveable Forest,” turns the gallery into a cool forest of silver and white. From the piles of brick on the ground, topped by deer and sirens, to the…
Kaylan Goodman: On the Road Again
The strange tale of Kaylan Goodman took a stranger turn Saturday, when the 18-year-old left her family after two days to rejoin a traveling magazine sales crew overseen by a man wanted by Colorado authorities on a drug-related warrant. Kaylan’s grandmother told Hair Balls that Kaylan wanted to go back…
The Hype Machine: Top 10 Indie Buzz Bands You May Have Forgotten
So you’re a hipster. Not you specifically. I would never accuse the great Rocks Off readers of being hipsters. But hypothetically, say you’re a hipster. How do you choose your favorite bands? Well, you stroll on over to any indie-rock blog and check out all the latest buzz bands obviously…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Free Press Houston: Hate Yelp? Then you’ll love Jay’s screed against the restaurant review website over at Free Press Houston. In his essay, Jay — who’s better known as the blogger behind Guns & Tacos — says that biggest problem with Yelp that its “platform is dependent on malicious activity,…
100 Creatives 2012: Lauralee Capelo
What She Does: Capelo is the owner and operator of Not Just Another Girl Dreads. She’s been making custom dreads, falls, wigs and hair pieces for ten years. It all started with providing UV hair to match a dance troupe’s costumes. Her work was popular enough that fans of the…
8 Very Odd Covers of Old Rice Football Programs: From Kinky Sex to Deadly Dull
You can’t tell the players without a program, the old saying goes, and it goes double for Rice football. Once a power so established it built the huge stadium that still sits on campus, times have grown leaner for the Owls on the field. But through it all they (or…
Boondocks Owner Arrested Saturday For Noise Violation
Boondocks owner Shawn Bermudez was arrested and booked at the central jail Saturday night when Houston Police Department officers responded to another noise complaint at the popular Montrose nightspot. Tuesday afternoon, Houston Police Department Public Information Officer Jodi Silva confirmed to Rocks Off that Bermudez had been arrested and was…
New Jail for Public-Intox Arrests Announced
If you’ve been arrested for public intoxication — and it’s a favorite charge if you’ve somehow pissed off a cop without doing anything illegal — things will soon be different for you in Houston. Instead of their being thrown in with the general population at the city jail, Mayor Annise…
Houston Rockets Second-Half Preview in Gambling-Speak
The Rockets kick off the second half of the 2011-2012 season tonight. I’m not sure how many of you care about this. The acres of empty seats at Toyota Center lead me to believe that fewer of you care than Kevin McHale, Daryl Morey and Leslie Alexander would have hoped…
They Don’t Have Tacos In the Suck, Part 2
This is Part 2 of a four-part series: They Don’t Have Tacos In the Suck, which chronicles an afternoon taco truck crawl with my best friend from college, an Air Force EOD sergeant whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years. Read the first part here. Tacos Arcelia has two things…
Annise Parker Tells You How to Get Around Houston During Spring Break
Mayor Annise Parker announced two things today: 1) Houston is a big Spring Break destination, which we admit we never really realized; and 2) She wants you to use specific routes to get to some tourist hotspots during this time. Again, we didn’t realize there were Spring Break tourist hotspots…
La Iglesia Borracha: A Pop-Up Brunch with Booze at El Gran Malo
I used to think that pop-up dining events were popular because they were a here today, gone tomorrow sort of thing, but with so many fine local chefs in limbo while waiting for their restaurants to open — Oxheart Restaurant, Pilot Light Group, Restaurant Conat, and Underbelly, to name a…
Upcoming: Sleigh Bells, Steve Earle, Hayes Carll, George Jones, Eyehategod, Etc.
Acid Baby Jesus, Night Beats, Paint Fumes: Thu., April 26. Walter’s, 1120 Naylor St., Houston. “Praia Urbana” With ATFC, DJ Spen: Sat., March 10, 2 p.m. Last Concert Cafe, 1403 Nance St., Houston. Belanova: Tue., April 24. House of Blues, 1204 Caroline, Houston. Bowling For Soup, Patten Pending, Freshmen 15,…
Loose Bulls & Heifers on the Rampage: Five Video Examples
A heifer got loose at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo yesterday, causing some quick escapes by passers-by and round-up efforts by the cowboys in attendance. It’s not the first time this has happened at the HLS&R, but cows/bulls running loose isn’t limited to Houston. They can break out anywhere,…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The Bottom-of-the-Barrel Edition
Nothing could entice us to review Tower Heist or Puss in Boots this week. Good thing, too, because there was so much more to choose from…oh, wait, that’s a lie. This week’s offerings suck. Let’s start with the television series releases. There are those series that stand the test of…
Tuesday February 28, 2012 Deals of the Day
Burger lovers, this week’s Houston Press Voice Daily Deal is for you. Today’s deal is for half off ($7 for $15) burgers and more at Little Bitty Burger Barn. Favorite burgers on the LBBB menu include Jay’s Juicy Lucy and Charlie’s Five Alarm Fire, which recently made an appearance in…
Gothic Council Stages Tim Burton Intervention
Tim Burton has become something of a trial to the goths of the world. On the one hand, his contribution to the sub-culture simply cannot be overstated. Films like Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, and The Nightmare Before Christmas served as the gateway into the spooky side for many of us, and…
Roundup of the World’s Championship Bar-B-Que Competition
The World’s Championship Bar-B-Que Contest. I knew I’d arrived when a hazy cloud of smoke, emitted by hundreds of barbecue pits, impaired my vision and bewitched my senses. My destination was confirmed when I spotted cowboy-hat and boot-clad guys and gals descending on Reliant Park in masses, as if they…
Marsha Tennell, 53: Blood-Covered Son Admits Killing Mom, Bayou Body Count No. 22
When police arrived at the home of Marsha Tennell about 5 a.m. Sunday, they found her son covered in blood. They also found the corpse of the 53-year-old woman in her bedroom, dead from blunt-force trauma. Eric Deshayn Tennell, 33, eventually admitted to cops he killed his mother, police say…
Mess With Texas Festival Returns To Mess With SXSW
Mess With Texas, Austin’s antidote to the crowds of badge-holders clogging the streets and the mile-long lines coming out of showcases during South By Southwest, has returned for 2012 with a lengthy lineup for three days of music, March 15th, 16th, and 17th. This year the festival will be located…
Slap Fight: Spider-Man & Obama vs. Bad Dudes & Reagan
Listen here, we’re hijacking the Cinema Slap Fight column to talk about something short on cinema, but long on slap fights! In all the years we’ve been tiptoeing through the tulips of pop culture, we’ve seen a lot of presidents rescued by a lot of heroes in a lot of…
Alice Waters: A Call to Arms for the Fate of America’s Ill-Fed Youth
Alice Waters is a modern-day icon, the mother of the farm-to-table movement and of farmers markets across the nation, the originator of California cuisine — for better or worse — and of the notion that eating and cooking local, organic, seasonal foods shouldn’t be a socio-political issue but one of…
Paula Powell: Complains of Sexual Harassment; Ordered to Write Essay on Improving Her Attitude, She Says
Paula Powell says she was working in the corporate offices of Waco’s Assisted Living Centers for a little more than three years before she began being sexually harassed by a supervisor. She complained to the company about the behavior, she says in a lawsuit, and the company took action: She…
Main Street Theater Has Outdone Itself with Coast of Utopia: Salvage
The setup: By the final scene of the third installment of Tom Stoppard’s magnificently rich triptych of 19th-century Russian revolutionaries, Coast of Utopia: Salvage, our hero, Alexander Herzen (Joe Kirkendall), grizzled and now living in exile in Geneva, has been branded as dead by the new guard, who mock his…
Rap Round Table: Life On The Line, Who Takes The Last Shot?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Zavey, Lil O, Young Sensation, Delo, Brad Gilmore, D-Risha, Preemo, GT Mayne, Eskabel, more Not Invited: Jeremy Lin This Week’s Prompt: The NBA…
Karaoke Murder: Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 21
Be careful what you sing: A man was shot to death in southwest Houston early this morning because, police say, of a dispute over his karaoke choice. The unidentified male sang at Ostioneria Mazatlan in the 6400 block of Hillcroft around 2:30 a.m. and then got into an argument with…
Dao Chloe Dao Opens in Rice Village
Houston fashion designer Chloe Dao opened a new boutique this month. Located in Rice Village at 6127 Kirby, the new Dao Chloe Dao space is just a few blocks from her former Lot 8 location. The new boutique is smaller and Chloe’s bright, vibrant Spring 2012 collection is on display…
Keep on Truckin’: Kurbside Eatz
Houston’s mobile food scene is still going strong, as evidenced by the crop of new trucks like Ladybird, Pad Thai Box, Happy Endings , and my new favorite, Kurbside Eatz. You can find every type of cuisine on wheels now, but Kurbside Eatz fills a void for what they like…
MLS Brands Dynamo Fans As Hooligans
On Monday, Major League Soccer branded Houston Dynamo supporter groups as hooligans. A letter sent from the league imposed sanctions for repeated violations from traveling fans during the Dynamo’s late run last year to the MLS Cup. The sanctions ban members of the Texian Army, El Battallon, Brickwall Firm and…
iFest 2012 Heavy On Latin Rock, Funk, South Americans
The Houston International Festival officially announced its 2012 lineup this morning. The music is heavy on Latin-flavored rock, reggae and funk, with Texas well-represented as always and an exceedingly rare Houston appearance by Seun Kuti, son of Afrobeat giant Fela, and his group Egypt 80. Among the other headliners are…
Identical Twins Ryan and Austin Jacobs Are Superb in Edward Albee’s Newest Play, Me, Myself and I
The setup: Me, Myself and I, the newest work from Edward Albee, the dean and bad boy of American playwrights, arrives from Edge Theatre and director Jim J. Tommaney, and this is cause for celebration (Tommaney is also a theater critic for the Houston Press). An absurdist play with all…
Honor Thy Salt: Why I Own More Than 30 Varieties But Not Kosher Salt, And Why I No Longer Shop at Penzey’s
“Three things are good in little measure and evil in large: yeast, salt and hesitation.” – The Talmud Salt is the single most important ingredient in cooking and the single most powerful tool for improving the flavor of food. For most of human existence, salt has been tricky to transport,…
App of the Week: Instagram
App: Instagram Platform: iPhone Website: http://instagr.am/ Cost: Free I began teaching a class on beginner photography last week for people with nice digital 35mm cameras who need help learning how to use them. When the idea was first presented to me, I suggested that approach rather than opening it up…
In Other News, LMFAO Is Big Enough To Play Toyota Center Now
So this past week I was in Las Vegas for a friend’s bachelor party. Standard dude stuff: Plenty of gambling, embittered ATM withdrawals, inordinate amounts of cursing, and the ever-present din of LMFAO at most every turn. I think at one point I heard their “Sexy And I Know It”…
Chase Budinger’s Painfully Awkward Dialogue with P-Diddy at the NBA Slam Dunk Contest (w/ VIDEO)
The logical evolution of most things brings about positive change. This is especially true in the world of sports and entertainment. Think about anything in either of those realms which you consume, and ask yourself, “Is this experience better now than it was 25 years ago?” For almost everything, because…
Pop Rocks: Who’s Still Watching The Walking Dead?
Watched the latest episode of The Walking Dead last night. Against my prior inclinations, I’m glad I stuck it out this far. Things have picked up quite a bit since the second half of season two started up a month ago, with more human vs. human and human vs. zombie…
Miles Michael Lacy: West U-Bred Former UH Linebacker Popped for Impersonating a Cop in BMW
A West University Place man was arrested after pretending to be a cop on the Katy Freeway. Unfortunately for 22-year-old Miles Michael Lacy, one of the people he attempted to pull over was a real off-duty cop. According to a criminal complaint filed on February 24, the incident took place…
Where Are We Drinking?
It’s now a few days past National Margarita Day, but we’re still drinking. Specifically, we’re drinking this just-spicy-enough habanero margarita from this vacation-like destination. Ring any bells? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Chris Grant in Million Dollar Quartet Likes It When Audiences Get Rowdy
It was one of the greatest jam sessions in history. On December 4, 1956, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins arrived at Sun Records Studio in Memphis and Sam Phillips presided over what followed. The musical Million Dollar Quartet captures that night, not only in music…
Please Please Me: Rock’s Top 10 Greatest Double Entendres
Almost half a century ago this month, the Beatles released their first U.S. single, “Please Please Me.” Though a fine example of the group’s early pop sound, it wasn’t an immediate smash in the States. After being issued in England on the EMI-owned Parlophone label on Jan. 12, 1963, Capitol…
Here Comes Sadie Hawkins Day: 5 Facts About the Man Who Invented the Most Sexist Holiday Ever
Tomorrow is of course Leap Year Day, a one-day extension of the year needed because the Earth can’t seem to get its shit together when it comes to orbiting the sun. It’s also Sadie Hawkins Day. If you don’t know what that is, it’s allegedly the one day when a…
Madonna Announces Second Houston Show October 25 At Toyota Center
Due to overwhelming demand, pop megalith Madonna has now added a second Houston date to her busy schedule in October, after her October 24th Toyota Center show sold out within days of going on sale. Madonna will stay in town for an October 25th encore appearance. So far it looks…
Comment of the Day: Predicting the Future of an Amateur Tattoo Artist
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Buzzfest XXVIII Coming April 21: Korn, Blue October, MuteMath, Cage The Elephant & More
Yes, we are now on the twenty-eighth Buzzfest in Houston history, with the all-day show on April 21 boasting a lineup that includes Korn, The Dirty Heads, Blue October, Evans Blue, Evanescence and Cage The Elephant, plus undercards Foxy Shazam, MuteMath, Neon Trees, and the Features. It’s hard to believe…
Judge Samuel Kent WikiLeaked: Had Halliburton Conspiracy Theory About His Sex-Abuse Scandal
Today, WikiLeaks released the first few hundred of what promise to be 5 million e-mails belonging to Austin-based global security think tank Stratfor. One concerns not one but two Houston-area shit magnets, one formerly high-powered and one still very much high-powered: Halliburton and disgraced former U.S. district court judge Samuel…
Saturday Night: American Sharks Record Release At Fitzgerald’s
American Sharks, Psychic Palms, Bang Bangz Fitzgerald’s (downstairs) February 25, 2012 It was a crazed Saturday at Fitzgerald’s, with a variety of acts playing upstairs and downstairs for little to no cost. I arrived a little before doors opened downstairs just in time to catch the madhouse playing upstairs that…
They Don’t Have Tacos in the Suck, Part 1
“Can I have the hot dog, please?” I asked the woman inside the bright green Tacos D.F. truck on Long Point at Witte. “You’re ordering a hot dog?” teased my friend Ryan with a chuckle. He’d already placed his order for a pastor taco and a can of Coke at…
Win Free Tickets to the 2012 Menu of Menus and Iron Fork Competition
This year’s Menu of Menus will take place on April 17 at Silver Street Station. In addition to featuring 50 of the city’s best restaurants in one place, Menu of Menus will offer an exciting new component this year: the Iron Fork competition, our own little take on Iron Chef…
Lance Berkman, Cavorting with the Obamas: He’s a RINO!!!
There’s a new batch of official photos up on the White House Flickr page, and it includes this damning piece of evidence that Lance Berkman — former Rice Owl, former Houston Astro, current proud church dude and proud Republican — is pals with the Obamas. You know who else pals…
Hooray for Hollywood? The Academy Really Wants You to Go to the Movies
Halfway through the 84th Academy Awards last night during what felt like the 10th Diet Coke commercial focused on the “magic of Hollywood,” I wished I was watching on a DVR-delay so I could skip over the sales pitch. The theme of the Oscars was focused on old Hollywood from…
Jose Cuervo Light Margarita
As you might have inferred from recent posts, I have been spending a lot more time in Alexandria, Virginia while my husband finishes a temporary job. With no teaching responsibilities this semester, my schedule has been much more flexible; it’s been an exercise in self-discipline to write during the day…
Lauren Topek: Principal Yanked After Janitor Death Lands at Bell Elementary
We wrote earlier this year about Antonia Rivas, a 69-year-old janitor at Shadowbriar Elementary who — according to her family and some teachers — was overworked by the school’s principal in the days leading up to her death. Three weeks after the article appeared, HISD yanked Shadowbriar principal Lauren Topek…
The Houston Modern Architecture Tour with Jason Smith
Modern architecture enthusiast Jason Smith gave van tours this past weekend of some of Houston’s best modern architecture as part of the Houston Modern Market, proving Houston to be a haven for many genuine mod architecture treasures. Here are some of the best finds from the tour…
Elvis: Why A 22-Year-Old Still Loves The King
Elvis Presley was one of my first favorite musicians. Around 1994, my parents had signed up for one of those ridiculous 99 cent CD clubs, getting endless amounts of CDs. An Elvis Presley compilation was one of them. I found myself jumping around my house doing my own kind of…
Fast Times: McDonald’s Shamrock Shake and Chicken McBites
When is the last time you had a Shamrock Shake? Until now, for me, it was at least 18 years — not since high school. I wonder — did Shamrock Shakes always taste like this, or have they gotten worse? The color was alarming. When I saw the “mint green”…
Daniel Huerta: Lufkin’s Illegal Wee Hours Door-to-Door Poultry Peddler
“Intoxicated male selling chickens door-to-door” is not the most common after-midnight call for police to field, even in a wild-and-woolly town like Lufkin, but according to KTRE, police there had just such a case over the weekend. Sgt. Scott Cagnon told the station that his officers found 33-year-old Daniel Ramirez…
Luck 1.5: “Some People Lie Like Breathing.”
I was a little pressed for time on this week’s recap, so in the spirit of Jeff Balke’s Oscar coverage, I’m going to give you the latest Luck rundown live-blog style. Only it’s…not really live. Oh shut up…
Last Night: A$AP Rocky At Warehouse Live
A$AP Rocky Warehouse Live February 26, 2012 For more photos from Sunday, see our slideshow. Who is A$AP Rocky? The simple answer is that he’s a kid from Harlem who’s real name is Rakim, who proclaims himself a “pretty muthafucka,” and who loves all things Houston. From the flows to…
From Defender of Wily Politicians, Serial Killers and Drug Dealers to Texas Winemaker
“I don’t read anymore,” said Dickson when I asked him to share his thoughts about the recent uproar in the world of Natural wine. “I did enough reading when I was an attorney.” On Friday, I drove out to Houston native Lewis Dickson’s Hill Country estate and winery, La Cruz…
Sweet 16: The 2012 Burger Bracket Begins
The Final Four venue has been secured. The judges have been chosen. The Sweet 16 have been selected. The 2012 Burger Bracket commences today. The 16 competitors listed below will compete in one of four brackets: Fancy-Pants, Fast Food-Style, Extreme and Veggie, categories as defined by our Burger Bracket rulebook…
Harold Lewis Bacon, 64, Killed by Girlfriend, Who Then Stayed with Body for Nine Hours, Bayou Body Count No. 20
Linda Darnice Dorsey, a 55-year-old woman who had been paroled for an earlier murder, shot her 64-year-old boyfriend and then stayed with the body for nine hours before calling police, police say. Harold Lewis Bacon had come to Dorsey’s apartment in northwest Houston around 1 a.m. Sunday, and she told…
Jeannette Clift George Gives a Stunning Performance in A.D. Players’ Whatever Happened to the Villa Real
The setup: In Whatever Happened to the Villa Real, residents of a country inn meet and meddle, and learn a bit about human nature, while sitting and rocking on the ample veranda of the Villa Real. The execution: The handsome set by Mark A. Lewis is detailed and contains an…
Female Demand: Fearsome Predator In Local-Music Bestiary
Each week, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. A dream from the other night: This guy,…
Jacqueline Shaikh, 11, Killed by Dad Who Then Commits Suicide, Bayou Body Count No. 19
An 11-year-old girl was shot to death by her father, who then committed suicide, police say. Jacqueline Shaikh was killed by her father, Sardar Shaikh, 47, on the southwest wide of town Sunday afternoon about 1 p.m., HPD says. The elder Shaikh also shot Jacqueline’s sister, Vivian, 14, and her…
A Thoroughly Modern Market, with Thoroughly High Prices
This weekend marked the annual Houston Modern Market and Art Attack stopped by to take in the mod festivities. The Market overtook the Winter Street Studios and spread throughout the studios’ two large floors. The setup was slightly confusing; most of the actual market was on the second floor, which…
Youth Lagoon: Death By Moon In “July”
The video for Youth Lagoon’s “July” is like one of Stephen King’s short stories come to life. Not like one of the ones about giant rats or haunted hotel rooms. We mean his study pieces on the apocalypse. Something like “Night Surf,” in which a group of ordinary teenagers survive…
What’s Cooking This Week?
Last week I spiced up the menu with Moroccan Inspired Burgers & Wasabi Salmon. With the weather warming up, I want to use my oven before it’s too late. So this week, I’m making a roasted chicken and going back to my roots with some more of my Italian favorites…
Super Market Sushi: Kroger vs. H-E-B
When I think about sushi, I think about my time in the Far East, and I think about something that looks like this: Supermarkets have been trying to capitalize of late upon the massive popularity of sushi. You can’t go into a grocery store anymore without seeing a sushi-dedicated kiosk…
Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Houston-Bound With Revelations and More
How do you go about taking the helm of one of the most acclaimed dance companies in the United States, keep the good but still put your own mark on the proceedings? Houstonians will have a chance to see when Robert Battle, only the third artistic director of the Alvin…
Careful With Those Karaoke Song Choices
A man was shot and killed after another man at the Southwest Houston restaurant where he had just sung karaoke took issue with his song choice, according to Channel 13. The incident occurred in a taqueria near Hillcroft and Sands Point around 2 a.m. Police say the two men began…
Guy V. Lewis Snubbed by the Basketball Hall of Fame Again
The Houston Cougars defeated the SMU Mustangs 62-59 on Saturday night. The leading scorer, with 27 points, was Joseph Young, son of UH legend and current director of basketball operations Michael Young. The radio analyst for the game was former Cougar legend, all-time NBA great and basketball Hall of Famer…
David Earl Brown: Court Reverses Montrose Killer’s Conviction Because of Suicide Attempt
David Earl Brown shot Whitt Bruney to death in Montrose in 2008, a case that garnered attention because, among other things, Bruney had built a panic room because of his fear of Brown. Brown said the shooting was in self-defense, but a jury convicted him and gave him ten years…
Stark Naked Theatre Plays Dinner with Friends to Perfection
The setup: “Two couples. Four best friends. One divorce.” Sounds like an ad for a chick flick. Hey, wait a minute, it was — a 2001 TV movie starring Dennis Quaid and Andie MacDowell. The Donald Margulies play upon which the television adaptation was based, a Pulitzer Prize winner no…
10 Bizarre (And Surprisingly Expensive) Ways to Hide a Cat Litter Box
I have cats. Yes, I’m a fortysomething man with cats. You got a problem? What I have learned over the years is that the biggest pain in the ass when dealing with cats is the litter box. Hair is annoying. Vet bills can be expensive. But the foul ammonia smell…
In Prog We Trust: Five Progressive Rock Bands You Hate, But Shouldn’t
There are some forms of music that struggle to find critical acclaim while others are loved by critics but universally dismissed by the public. Then, there is another group that, despite a loyal and sometimes massive cult following, are disliked by critics and everyday music fans alike. Meet prog-rock, the…
Li Cunxin Says Ballet Is Fun with This New App
If you are like us, you have a penchant for tutus and a love of all things ballet. Every year you do your best to squeeze in as much ballet as you can, but even just the annual Nutcracker presentation on television is enough to get you twirling. Maybe you…
Where Are We Eating?
What you see below is the finest shrimp BLT in town (no, seriously), with fat Gulf shrimp and buttery avocado, next to this restaurant’s signature waffle chips. Think you know where we’re eating this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Adult Entertainment Virtual Convention: Inside the World of Wank-Craft
The main virtual hall Most conventions are pants-mandatory kinds of affairs — even those of the adult nature. For the world’s first virtual porn convention, however, I’m not wearing any (relax…I’m in my PJs). This past weekend, XBiz and Red Light Center hosted the Adult Entertainment Virtual Convention, porn’s first…
84th Academy Awards Live Blog!
Welcome to the 84th Academy Awards…the live blog. No red carpet or golden statues here. Just a guy (me), his girlfriend and her gay friends in an apartment watching it all go down. The fashion, the films, the speeches, the HUMANITY! We’ve got it all. The blog will load throughout…
King’s X Drummer Jerry Gaskill Has Heart Attack
Jerry Gaskill, drummer and vocalist for Houston progressive hard rock band King’s X, had a heart attack Saturday night, according to a Facebook post by his bandmate DUg Pinnick: Jerry had a heart attack last night. He was operated on and is in stable condition at the hospital. Were all…
Delores Westmoreland: Former Kashmere High Dean, 1 Other Indicted for Tampering with Dropout Records
A Harris County grand jury today indicted two former administrators from the 2010 scandal at Key Middle School/Kashmere High School on felony offenses of “tampering with a governmental record.” Dr. Delores Westmoreland, former dean of instruction at Kashmere, was indicted for three cases and fellow administrator and business manager Peggy…
Lamar’s Head Basketball Coach Pat Knight Rants Maniacally (w/ VIDEO)
It’s not easy being the son of a legend, and then trying to follow in said legend’s footsteps into the exact same vocation of choice. Pat Knight knows this. His father, Bobby Knight, garnered 902 career wins as a head coach. He also had dozens of epic postgame rants. The…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where opinions are like nipples: everybody has four or five weird ones. We started the week off right by not at all clearing up the confusion regarding the difference between fish sauce and nuoc mam. The conclusion: Vietnamese restaurants…
Last Night: Ringo Deathstarr & Friends At Walter’s
Ringo Deathstarr, New York City Queens, Featherface, Olajuwon Walter’s February 23, 2012 Ringo Deathstarr drowned Walters in honey-sweet reverberation Thursday, with the volume turned up as if they were playing to a packed venue. The crowd was sparse but mighty, with most of the audience looking anything but indifferent. I…
Rudy Garay: Homemade “Hello Kitty” Stomach Tattoo on 15-Year-old Neighbor Girl Brings Charges
A Valley man is facing charges because he inked a free “Hello Kitty” tattoo on the stomach of the 15-year-old girl who lived next door. Rudy Garay, 19, has been charged with various violations of state tattoo regulations, among them not getting permission from the minor’s parents, Valleycentral.com reports. Maybe…
Get Your Live Blog on for the Oscars This Sunday
This Sunday, February 26, is the 84th annual Academy Awards and Art Attack has you covered before and after the ceremony. But what about during? How are you supposed to make it through all three hours (plus the red carpet) with nothing to do but stare at your TV and…
Cool Britannia: Your Essential Britpop Playlist
It was announced this week that British bands Blur, New Order and the Specials will be performing at the closing ceremonies of this year’s Summer Olympics, which will be held in London in July and August. All three bands represent three distinct parts of British popular music from past 35…
Upcoming Events: Real Life Is for March
Leap Day William is coming to town next week! Valentino Vin Bar is celebrating the quadrennial Leap Day on February 29 with a $29 all-inclusive lunch. That $29 will get you three courses — soup, pizza and dessert — and even includes tax, tip and valet. Just remember to wear…
Cowboy Douglas Duncan Returns Home This Weekend for PBR Event
Before Douglas Duncan started stockpiling top 5 and top 10 finishes on the Professional Bull Riding circuit, the 24-year-old cowboy was riding sheep in Alvin. Duncan — who grew up on a small ranch on Sandpoint/County Road 812 (his grandfather raised racehorses and cattle) — is a rising star in…
Look Who Showed Up At The Rodeo Cookoff
UPDATE: As per the commenters, it appears to be Nelson and Parton impersonators. It’s a little hard to tell from the photo, and it’s still a good story. Country stars Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton both dropped by the World’s Championship BBQ Contest at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo…
Lisha Underwood: Criminal Genius Changes Stolen $25,439.26 Check to $8,439.26, Caught Anyway
What is the downfall of every criminal mastermind? Hubris, often, sure. But also greed. They just decide to go too far, and get caught. Lisha Underwood wasn’t going to fall into that trap, if what court documents say is true. Last October, a local company cut a $25,439.26 check to…
Project Runway All-Stars: The United Nations Challenge
This week on PRAS: Kara’s departure has the designers chattering about who does and does not “deserve” to be an All-Star, and the design gang visits the United Nations where they are assigned a challenge based on and inspired by international flags. Anyone else want to see the challenge where…
Last Night: Cloud Nothings At Fitzgerald’s
Cloud Nothings, A Classic Education, The Boxing Lesson Fitzgeralds February 23, 2012 It’s only February and 2012 is shaping up to be a big year for Cleveland’s Cloud Nothings. Their new album Attack on Memory is garnering raves from critics and fans alike, having been the first release of the…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Junnajet “Jett” Hurapan of Blu – A Taste of Thai and More
The last two days, we’ve been chatting with Chef Jett Hurapan, who is currently at the helm of the fledgling Blu Restaurant and Lounge in Sugar Land. Today, we try his food. Before meeting Chef Jett and chatting with him, I had no idea what Blu was about. The restaurant…
Parking Spot at Anvil: SUCCESS
When you live in a city like Houston where every day can be an unrelenting, traffic-ridden, humidity-drenched, strip mall-dominated head-pounder of a nightmare, you take solace in the small victories. Like the Success Kid meme here is doing. Head over to our sister blog, Hair Balls, for more small successes…
Texans’ Rashad Butler Not Really Apologizing Much for “Faggots” Tweet
Rashad Butler’s Twitter account is the latest bit of fun Misadventures in Athlete Tweeting. The Texans tackle was watching the Miami Heat-New York Knicks game last night and got a little bit caught up in the action. He got in some back-and-forth with Laker fans over Kobe Bryant about his…
Leap of Fun: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
Last Night: T-Bird & The Breaks At The Continental Club
T-Bird & the Breaks Continental Club February 23, 2012 It may be an optical illusion, but some kinds of music just sound better when the band looks nice. Sharp suits and simple choreography, like the way guitarists or horn players sometimes rock back and forth to the beat, can go…
KTRU Spring Outdoor Show Books Titus Andronicus, Thermals, Slim Thug
Its move to the HD airwaves and the Internet hasn’t stopped Rice University student radio station KTRU from putting on its annual free outdoor show. Doing its part to counterprogram SXSW, KTRU has booked sharp-edged New Jersey indie-rockers Titus Andronicus, Brooklyn goth-pop trio Chairlift, Portland punks the Thermals, former Houstonian…
Odd Pair: Pizza and Champagne (Socialism)
Champagne socialist, noun depreciative (originally and chiefly British): a person who espouses socialist ideals but enjoys a wealthy and luxurious lifestyle; confer limousine liberal noun. — Oxford English Dictionary In this day and age of the 99 percenters, there’s no irony lost in the fact that the realm of wine…
Comment of the Day: An All-Caps Missive on UFOs
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Person of Interest: No “Risk,” No Reward
It’s about time Person of Interest took a position on the economic crisis. Okay, maybe it isn’t, but Wall Street has been in the headlines a lot for the past, oh, five years. CBS can be forgiven for not presenting things “ripped from the headlines” as much as a certain…
American Sharks Unleash WeedWizard At Fitz Saturday
Houston knows the blistering stoner-jamming American Sharks as the other band fronted by Mike Hardin, a.k.a. Roky Moon of Roky Moon & BOLT!. The latter band, our own backyard Broadway/Bowie/Meatloaf bouillabaisse, has been Hardin’s main focal point for the past few years, but the Sharks came first and hardest and…
Openings & Closings: The All-Montrose Edition
It’s all Montrose, all the time this week: Nearly every bit of restaurant scoop for the past several days has come out of the Montrose, starting with an announcement last night from the owners of the Eatsie Boys food truck: “EBOY BREAKING NEWS: We have signed a lease in Mmmontrose…
Michael Berry Settles Case, He Hopes
Days after going on the offensive by bashing gay-bashers, KTRH talkshow host and former city councilman Michael Berry has made a move to settle the hit-and-run incident outside a Montrose gay bar. Berry, through his attorney, mailed a $2,000 check to the owner of the hit car, TC’s Showbar bouncer…
NFL Safety LaRon Landry’s Incredible Physique: You Be the Judge, Not Me
Free agency begins in the NFL on March 13. For players who are trying to secure that next big deal and potentially life-changing money, the chance to impress on the field is over. For safety LaRon Landry, the final impression he left was a 2011 season that started on the…
Sister’s Holy Humor Is Back with Late Nite Catechism
The setup: Denise Fennell, as the teaching nun “Sister,” starred in Easter Catechism last year in an extended run, and she returns again with fresh material in a one-person show, Late Nite Catechism, to chide us for our sins, offering the joy of laughter and the forgiveness of holy humor…
Ol Dirty Bastard: 6 Reasons We Sure Miss That Guy
Ol’ Dirty Bastard of the Wu-Tang Clan is the only rapper to use his welfare card as an album cover; and the only rapper to take America along with him as he used the card to pick up his welfare check. Ol Dirty Bastard was a breakout star on the…
Reviews for the Easily Distracted: Wanderlust
Title: Wanderlust How Many More Jennifer Aniston Movies Do We As A Society Have To Endure? I’d estimate two a year until she dies. So…100 more. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three portable toilets out of five. Brief Plot Synopsis: Yuppie couple flees unemployment by holing up…
Bartender Chat: Holly of Catbirds
It was so warm and beautiful this week that I decided to dust off the Schwinn and ride over to Catbirds…because what’s a bike ride if there’s no “beereward”? There was a raven-haired lady named Holly behind the bar whipping up strawberry basil mojitos so I grabbed a stool, ordered…
Eating Our Words Burger Bracket: The 2012 Judges
March Madness is upon us, and you know what that means, EOW Nation: It’s Burger Bracket time. Katharine Shilcutt put out a call for judges last week, and after careful, admittedly capricious, consideration, we’ve chosen the teams. Without further ado: Team Burgerteers, for managing to work both a crappy Ford…
John Wayne: Let The Duke Be Your Muse, Pilgrim
Icon. Racist. Legend. Badass. Song inspiration. All of these are phrases that could describe Marion Mitchell Morrison. John Wayne is another. Loved by millions, hated by Public Enemy, he became an iconic image of what being an American meant. He’s also responsible for planting the creative seed in a pair…
Just in Time for the Oscars: Koelsch Gallery’s “lights, camera, action”
Just in time for the Oscars, the Koelsch Gallery’s current exhibition, “lights, camera, action,” captures the varied nuances that comprise America’s beloved La La Land. The collection of work features several noted local artists such as Claire Cusack, Matt Duffin, Cisco Tucker Kolkmeier and Vanessa Estrada, as well many others…
Against All Odds, the Rockets Keep Winning
“Scrappy, man. Just scrappy.” I was talking with a buddy of mine the other day and that was the phrase that seemed to be uttered by one of us more than once about this current rabble of players assembled by the Houston Rockets. They just keep winning despite the fact…
Week in Photos: Swampopolis
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
5 Oddly Positive Acts by Spider-Man Villains
A little while back we explored the world of Batman’s rogue gallery, and the occasional good deed they managed to do while still being dangerously psychotic. Since Spider-Man also has a new movie coming out this year, it seemed like the perfect time to check and see if the Wallcrawler’s…
The “Success Kid” Meme, As Applied to Houston
Keeping up with memes can be difficult, as the references and twists can get a bit obscure. The “Success Kid” is not like that, though: Anyone can understand what’s going on with the funny picture of a kid seemingly pumping his fist in celebration. Success Kid is designed for life’s…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 5 Macaroni & Cheese
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants…
100 Creatives 2012: Marisol Monasterio
Marisol Monasterio identifies herself as simply a flamenca. Though she’s of Venezuelan/Brazilian descent, she has lived in Houston for the past 20 years, and has been learning and dancing flamenco for the last seven. Her journey as a dancer began when a friend introduced her to Maria and Gabriela Aliberti…
Dear Obama: You’d Make A Great Goth Musician
Dear President Barack H. Obama, I want you to know that I am very impressed by your recent musical endeavors. While it’s clear that you could use some practice and professional vocal coaching, it’s equally clear that you possess more than enough raw talent to excel as a musician. I…
5 Things to Know About March Madness So You Don’t Look Like a Complete Lummox
Just admit it: You won’t have a clue about how to talk about the 2012 NCAA tournament, much less how to fill out the bracket once the teams are selected on March 11. That’s what we’re here for. As March Madness heads toward its March 15 start date (no need…
HISD Takes Another Run at Standardizing School-Day Start and End Times
Superintendent Terry Grier is making another run at cutting Houston ISD expenses by standardizing school schedules throughout the district, after last year’s narrow rejection of the measure by board trustees. His administration says that by standardizing the school-bell system (right now there are about 20 different start and end times),…
NBA Lucky Sperm Club: Javale McGee’s Video Resume (Including His Moronic Goaltending Last Night)
Lucky Sperm Club. It’s a term I often use for professional athletes who, if they weren’t so genetically gifted, would be super-sizing french fries at the drive-through for the next 60 years. To be clear, the term is not meant for all physical freaks. Just the ones who display an…
Kaylan Goodman: Her Company’s Owner, Who Has a Warrant Out for His Arrest, Says 18-Year-Old Girl Is Just Fine! UPDATE: Safe Return
Photo Courtesy Crime StoppersKevin Davis: The company he works for is totally legit and non-sleazy, so you don’t have to worry. Update: Kaylan is back in Bay City. Her sister, Lorrie Goodman, told Hair Balls this morning that Kaylan flew from St. Louis to Houston last night, after Lrumar owner…
Houston Acts Stage Own SXSW Invasion
Sixteen Houston acts will play an all-day free show during SXSW from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, March 16, at the Gypsy Lounge, 1504 E. 6th St. The party is sponsored by The Convoy Group, the company run by Houston promoter and sometime Rocks Off photograher Mark C. Austin,…
Unleash the Swamp People: Texas Nuisance-Gator Hunters Can Now Peddle Their Services
A new samurai walks the Texas earth, or will soon: the hardened, stoic hunter of nuisance gators. In years past, the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department contracted with a limited number of hunters, who put in bids to be selected. Winners would be assigned a specific region and TPWD had…
Chinese Takeout Elevated at Café Ginger
Don’t go to Café Ginger in your bathing suit. The kind staff will still seat and serve you, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate. I know this because I accidentally did it last summer (oh shut up – we had cover-ups on over the suits). This upscale Asian restaurant is…
Scruncha Roo Picks The Worst Rap Album/Song Names
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Ingredient of the Week: Crawfish
Wave goodbye to Fat Tuesday. Say hello to Lent, the 40 days (excluding Sundays) leading up to Easter. Lent is a time when many strive for a deepened spiritual faith by fasting. Many Catholics observe meatless Fridays (hence the noticeable rise in McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish commercials during Lenten seasons past). But…
Aaron Pennington: Small-Town Big Shot Gets 20 Years for Child Porn & Rape
We’ve told you before about Aaron Pennington, young bigwig in the small East Texas town of Grapeland. Pennington was from one of the oldest and wealthiest families in the area and was elected to the city council. His future seemed secure It’s all come crashing down in the midst of…
Jordan Knight: NKOTB Singer Leaves Solo Career Unfinished
Last summer, the Houston Press reported (with embarrassing yet unapologetic enthusiasm) on ’80s pop sensations the New Kids on the Block. The ’80s boy-band was co-headlining an arena tour with their ’90s incarnates, the Backstreet Boys. This year, however, brings less boy-band baggage — no New Kids, no Backstreet Boys…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
On Friday, we’re dropping by the “Andy Paiko and Ethan Rose: Transference” exhibit at the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft. Glass artist Andy Paiko and experimental sound artist Ethan Rose have reimagined singing wine glasses. Remember singing wine glasses? Performers would “play” the glasses by rubbing a wet fingertip around…
Experiments En Croute
“En croute” is the most beautiful two-word phrase in the French language (“service compris” being a close second). I came to this realization while recently perusing the online menu of Le Refuge, which I hoped to visit during a trip to Old Town Alexandria. Among the restaurant’s many old-school, albeit…
Longhorn Sex: UT Most Promiscuous Campus in U.S., Very Official Survey Says
Hook ’em Up, Horns. The University of Texas is a sex-infested 40 acres of nonstop carnality, according to….something called College Magazine. Since it has “College” in the title, we have to assume they know what they’re talking about. The magazine’s list of “Most DTF” campuses was put together, it says,…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Junnajet “Jett” Hurapan of Blu
Yesterday, we chatted with Blu’s Executive Chef Jett Hurapan about his love of racing cars, and his background as a corporate chef opening restaurants in New York City. Today, he tells us what it’s like working with his pastry chef wife, what to expect from his food at Blu, and…
Top 10 Greatest And Most Essential Music Lists Of All Time
Any fan of music journalism, well hell any sort of journalism in the past five years has seen a massive amount of top 10, 20, or 31 lists all over the Internets. They help cull information into one meaty morsel for you to swallow without, you know, have to type…
Bill Henderson: County Judge’s Legal Counsel Allegedly Goes Rambo When Car Towed
Getting your car towed is an aggravating experience, to be sure. It’s perhaps more aggravating if you’re a former state district judge and current legal counsel to County Judge Ed Emmett — in other words, a person who’s used to not having to deal with the petty annoyances that afflict…
For Your Consideration: Art Attack’s Oscar Predictions
It’s that time. For months and months, various media outfits have been taking wild stabs at Oscar predictions and to which lucky-ducks will be taking home the coveted golden statuette. Every year it seems that the whole country is “over the Oscars” before they even start, but we all still…
Health Department Roundup
Back to the old style this week, where inspectors check out dozens and dozens of places, but hand out next to nothing in the way of citations or closures. The only place to get cited was also temporarily closed: Kids-N-Play Daycare (7126 Pittswood), after an “illegal establishment” surveillance campaign revealed…
Rap Round Table: Is Nicki Minaj Overrated?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. *Lil Kim’s previous dis song aimed at Nicki Minaj. This Week’s Panel: Lil O, Medicine Girl, Delo, Brad Gilmore, D-Risha, Eskabel, Chane, O.N.E., Preemo, more. Not…
Rice Owls Reach the Rarified Air of Basketball Success
John RoyalRice head coach Ben Braun has a few words with the officials on Wednesday night.Something a little magical happened at Rice’s Tudor Fieldhouse Wednesday night. Something that basketball fans don’t see too often. Something Rice fans have never seen. It wasn’t just that the Owls (16-12, 7-6 in conference)…
The Handshake: Local Rockers Greet Us With Obscenity
It’s a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we’re trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers. HPMA-winning group the Handshake’s music sounds like it’s being pulled out of an old radio one note at a time by an angst-ridden teenager…
Music Box Theater’s Oscar in the Box: Cabaret at Its Best
The setup: If you want to go to the movies with five friends, who better to accompany you than the talented quintet at Music Box Theater? The execution: This musical send-up of movie genres is a lively romp, filled with silly parodies yet heartfelt renditions of complementary songs that, while…
Brew Blog: Red Hook Eisbock 28
Usually, Red Hook is one of my in-a-pinch beers. I’ll drink it if the next best offering is Shiner, maybe, but rarely on other occasions. I don’t even have that much familiarity with the stuff, having only had the ESB prior to this bottle. It’s just that my beer-drinking dollars…
How To: Make Pure Velvet/Homemade Veal Stock
A few weeks ago, the fiance and I took a birthday trip to San Antonio. While I enjoyed some delicious eats during my first trip to the Riverwalk, one thing stood out above the rest. And by stood out, I mean I still think about it every day, dream about…
Last Night: Big K.R.I.T. At Fitzgerald’s
Big K.R.I.T. Fitzgerald’s February 22, 2012 Big K.R.I.T. ended his set at Fitzgerald’s on Wednesday, hand on chest, with a debut performance of his new single, “I Got This,” his gift to Houston for supporting his brand of Southern-fried rap. The crowd had cheered him like royalty through the evening,…
Aurora Gets into Fluxus with Artist-Designed Membership Cards
Aurora Picture Show is seeking several artists and crafty-minded people for help creating and spreading a grassroots art project across Houston. That project will be the making of several hundred credit card-sized micro works of art to serve as membership cards for the roughly 300 member-donors to the micro cinema…
Comment of the Day: Leave a Horny Felicia Moon Alone, Cops!
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
App of the Week: Tophatter
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine alerted me to a Web site called Tophatter where she had started selling her photos, suggesting I might consider doing the same. Before I could take a look, it was explained to me that Tophatter was a live auction Web site for…
Pop Rocks: Movies That Sound Like Porn But Aren’t
Wan•der•lust [won-der-luhst] noun 1. a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. The movie Wanderlust opens tomorrow. It’s the story of a recently laid-off urban professional and his wife who end up on what appears to be a commune populated largely by attractive people and not the hirsute neurotics…
Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo: These Are the Maps You Need
It’s coming. Soon you will be able to inhale the sweet smell of dung, fried food and amusement-ride grease as you enjoy the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. It’s easy to get lost or, more likely, miss something at the Rodeo — you can be forgiven for thinking there’s not…
Fire and Ice, Love and Hate on Top Chef: Texas
I’ve got to be honest with you guys. Hating on something is exhausting. It takes a tremendous amount of spiritual and emotional energy to hate something; so much more than it does to love something, in fact. I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. While love tends…
Death To The Academy Award For Best Original Song
Being both a music nerd and a movie geek, my interest was piqued when it was revealed that this year only two songs were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Song. I wondered how the Academy decided that there were only two songs worthy of competing for the…
5 Satans It Would Be Awesome to Hang with
You have to be very careful when you choose your Satan. You want to end up with the martini type, not the one that eats babies and borrows your car. You want a cool Satan, as opposed to the whiny, codependent South Park version. Also, you need somebody with a…
The “Battle of LA,” 70 Years Ago Today: 5 Irrefutable Arguments Why It Was Actually a UFO Attack
Seventy years ago today, the Battle of Los Angeles occurred, a vicious fight that resulted in three civilian deaths. Haven’t heard of it? We’re not surprised. The U.S. government said what happened was nighttime antiaircraft crews protecting Los Angeles got nervous — it was just two months after Pearl Harbor…
Play On
What do you do if your playwright is a pompous ass who keeps rewriting your script? Well, if you’re the theater troupe in Play On!, you try to outwit her at every turn possible. The stage comedy by Rick Abbot has three acts: rehearsal, dress rehearsal and opening night. Each…
Proposals
The Hines family is gathering in the Poconos for the summer. It’s 1953 and love is in the air. The stage comedy Proposals, by Neil Simon, captures the romantic adventures of the family, their housekeeper and assorted past and future lovers. There’s Burt, 55 years old and recovering from his…
ROCO UST Chamber Music Series
Violinists Deb Tien Price and Evan Price, violist Suzanne LeFevre and cellist Eric Gaenslen make up the River Oaks Chamber Orchestra string quartet, which will be performing Mendelssohn’s Four Pieces for String Quartet, Op. 81 and John Corigliano’s Snapshot Circa 1909. The program, part of the ROCO UST Chamber Music…
Dinner with Friends
When couples break up, there’s a lot of pain to go around — and that’s just the beginning of the troubles they face in Donald Margulies’s 2000 Pulitzer Prize-winning Dinner with Friends. The play follows two couples, Gabe and Karen and Tom and Beth, as they deal with the realignment…
Soul Nite 2012
Did you wish you’d gotten to see James Brown and Wilson Pickett live in concert while they were still alive? Aurora Picture Show and Peter Lucas can offer the next best thing with Soul Nite 2012. Drawing on his work as curator for the Northwest Film Forum in Seattle, Lucas…
Misterios de Lisboa
The late, famed Chilean filmmaker Raoul Ruiz refused to be pigeonholed. His work — whether in film, TV or theater — could be experimental and goofy, or staid and melodramatic, but it was always elegant and thought-provoking. His last show was an epic six-hour television novella, adapted from the romance…
Galveston Tour of Sacred Places
Galveston Island has been beaten and battered by dozens of catastrophic storms that have repeatedly flattened the city. So the churches and temples featured on the Galveston 16th Annual Tour of Sacred Places are all the more wondrous for having survived for the last 100-plus years. One highlight of the…
John Leguizamo: Ghetto Klown
Actor/writer/comedian John Leguizamo likes to get lost. Onstage, that is. “I want to be lost and just be on pure instinct,” he tells us. “I like to be all in.” Leguizamo’s newest one-man show, Ghetto Klown, is something he calls “a mix of media, slides, dance, hip-hop, salsa, up-rock and…
Beethoven’s 5th
What would happen if there was a performance of Ludwig van Beethoven’s immortal Fifth Symphony (or as it’s formally known, Symphony No. 5 in C minor, Op 67), and nobody paid any attention? That’s what happened December 22, 1808, in the unheated Theater an der Wien, when Beethoven gave a…
The 2012 Houston Modern Market
There’s so much to do during the 2012 Houston Modern Market, it’s hard for us to choose just one event to spotlight. “It’s just all good,” says market founder Brian Hoffner. On Friday, there’s a Preview Party at which buyers will have the first chance at shopping the market’s treasure…
Inprint: Rae Armantrout and Christian Wiman
Today’s Inprint presentation of Rae Armantrout and Christian Wiman is a must-see for poetry fans. “This should be a very exciting night, because these are two poets whose work calls into question our core notions of what a poem is, and what it does, and how it relates to us,”…
Deborah Coonts: So Damn Lucky
Las Vegas magicians disappear all the time — but they usually do it onstage as part of their act. In Deborah Coonts’s novel, So Damn Lucky, the magician at The Babylon has disappeared and Lucky O’Toole, head of customer relations, can’t tell if it’s a stunt or something more sinister…
The Amadeus Project
Mozart fans will rejoice at the unique chance to experience the master composer’s work performed as it would have been in the 18th century — no time machine necessary. Conductor and University of Houston professor Timothy Hester will bring to life the music of Mozart in “The Amadeus Project: Bringing…
King Kong vs Godzilla
It’s the mother of monster showdowns today when King Kong vs Godzilla hits the screen. The 1962 film, directed by Ishirô Honda, features King Kong (a giant gorilla) and Godzilla (a mutant, fire-breathing dinosaur), in a no-holds-barred war over Tokyo. Viewers will learn several life lessons as they watch the…
The Crucible
You might think Arthur Miller’s The Crucible isn’t timely. After all, Miller wrote it in the early 1950s, and it concerns the witch trials in Salem during the Puritan age. You’d be wrong. Miller’s story of prejudice, deception and frenzied accusations, believed to be the playwright’s commentary on the McCarthy-era…
Cinderella
Forget “poor Cinderella,” the much abused but ever optimistic girl at the beck and call of her evil stepmother and stepsisters. In Stanton Welch’s version of Cinderella, she’s smart, sassy and determined. “What always bothered me about the story was this concept that you had to rely on some mythical…
Million Dollar Quartet
It was December 4, 1956 — the night that Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins came together as the Million Dollar Quartet. The foursome met at Sun Records studio for a history-making jam session. Launched on Broadway in 2010, the Tony-nominated musical that captures the magic…
Long Riders
Be sure to also check out our blog post — Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo: These Are the Maps You Need Jamie Francies Jr. approached the mayor of Brenham, Reese Lockett, who was in charge of organizing the annual trail ride bound for the Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. “Would…
T-Bird & the Breaks
T for Texas, T for T-Bird & the Breaks. Like their Austin neighbors Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears, T-Bird & the Breaks bring a relentless hip-hop swagger to vintage funk and soul grooves. Obviously paying homage to their Texas R&B forefathers in the Fabulous Thunderbirds, the Breaks debuted in…
Rounding It Up
Rodeos are fun, family-oriented events, and the biggest and best one is right here in Houston. So head on over to see incredible feats of athleticism from both the two-legged and four-legged among us, enjoy a few carnival rides and stick around for an appearance by your favorite band. If…
Cloud Nothings
When the first lists of the best 2012 albums drop in the fall, Cloud Nothings’ Attack on Memory will surely be a big part of the conversation. The Cleveland, Ohio, group led by Dylan Baldi has crafted a witchy mix of Weezer pop hookery, Nirvana scrawl and Dinosaur Jr. blitz…
A Wash and a Burger
Take a look inside the tiny kitchen at Facundo Cafe; you’ll be even more impressed with the food after you do. Danny Harper has a face like an open door. Wide-eyed and welcoming, he chats easily with customers as he grinds espresso beans and steams milk to create the foam…
Victory, Not Vengeance
You know how people at Christian-music concerts hold their hands up to the sky, close their eyes, sway and mouth the words? It’s because they feel connected to something pure, powerful and unarguably true. That’s the same feeling you get when VNV Nation is onstage. The Irish electronic band’s latest…
Power Players
The television news last Thursday featured a video clip of five male religious leaders testifying before a house “oversight” committee about the White House birth control mandate. A female law student from Georgetown University, invited by Democrats, was not allowed to testify because Rep. Darrell Issa, the male Republican chair…
Big Night
As we laid out in the Houston Press cover story last year [“Old School,” August 31, 2011], there’s plenty of muscle and swagger in the Houston blues scene right now. While activity at clubs like the Big Easy, Dan Electro’s Guitar Bar, Shakespeare’s Pub and the Hideaway on Dunvale has…
Beautiful Strangers
Plenty of bizarre partnerships have worked out well. There’s that fish that attaches itself to sharks and eats food that falls from the shark’s mouth. One kind of tiny snail migrates by way of being eaten by birds and then getting pooped out in a different location. And there’s Patrick…
Lost in America
“There’s no one way to live our lives,” hopes the displaced, adrift couple at the center of Wanderlust. Shopping between the prefab identity options available to them — squeezed, stressed urban professionalism; suburban McMansion soul death; rural counterculture opting-out — George and Linda (Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston) are looking…
Capsule Art Reviews: “A Crack in Everything,” “Bridge 11: Lia Cook,” “Hate Expo,” “Love Man“
“A Crack in Everything” The highly touted Seattle dance troupe zoe | juniper completely transforms DiverseWorks Art Space into its own dark, weird, womb-like dreamland. The artists create an entirely unfamiliar, unnerving place through innovative video, projection and sound techniques. It’s the kind of installation that makes you say “what…
Shovels & Rope
If the Civil Wars are too dear and twee for you, and She & Him just too indie, may we suggest Charleston, South Carolina, duo Shovels & Rope? The husband-and-wife team of Cary Ann Hearst and Michael Trent come preloaded with an endorsement by Hayes Carll, who took them out…
Alabama
It’s common to see groups like Lady Antebellum and The Band Perry at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo these days, but Alabama once had that revolving stage all to themselves. Now down to the three-piece of Randy Owen, Jeff Cook and Teddy Gentry, Alabama toiled in the clubs of…
Best Prayer-in-School Ruling Ever
COURTS The Best Prayer-in-School Ruling Ever By Richard Connelly U.S. District Judge Fred Biery recently agreed to a settlement in a long-running case involving prayer in a Central Texas school district. His ruling got some ink, but perhaps not all it deserved, for it is a concise masterpiece of sanity…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Endgame, The Seagull
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Don’t take my word for it, listen to the slick con men sing in Masquerade Theatre’s slick production of the Tony Award-winning 2005 musical: “It was a blast, it was a ball. It was a gas, I loved it all.” Go, and be thoroughly entertained. Written by…
Big Squeeze Auditions
Awkward and unhip, the accordion is the unlikely musical glue that bonds Mexican conjunto and banda, Czech and German polkas, sad Cajun waltzes and furious zydeco two-steps — in other words, the major food groups of Texas roots music. Despite the instrument’s oompah-band image outside the state, programs such as…
American Sharks
Houston knows the blistering stoner-jamming American Sharks as the other band fronted by Mike Hardin, a.k.a. Roky Moon in Roky Moon & BOLT!. The latter band, our own backyard Broadway/Bowie/Meatloaf bouillabaisse, has been Hardin’s main focal point for the past few years, but the Sharks came first and hardest and…
Bilingualism and Taco Ockerse
Dear Mexican, I’ve tried and failed to learn the Spanish language for the last two years. During high school and college, I took both Spanish I and Spanish II, but nothing really stuck with me. Last year, I visited a Spanish-speaking church to help immerse myself in the language, but…
