Photoshop Is for Wusses
Here are some unadulterated shots of Hustle-town taken this morning by our very own Abrahan Garza. Dude just stuck his camera-phone out the window and waved his arm around a little. Photos by Abrahan Garza…
Hook ‘em Horns!
Good ol’ W, once again using a photo op to profess his love for Satan. Too bad he didn’t bust out the shocker. That would’ve shown the rest of the world what’s up. – Keith Plocek…
Jock Shots
Over at regular ol’ HouStoned, we’ve got a slideshow of sports photos from Houston-area high school students. Drop on by and have a look. We promise plenty of bitching about the Astros when you get back. – Keith Plocek…
Play Ball
Sorry for the delay in posting the April entries for our photo contest for high school students. Our system has been running a little slow. You can check out the gallery here. Be sure to come back and vote for your favorite in the comments section of this post. –…
Rebel Yell
Former state district judge Ted Poe has been in Congress for a couple of years now, and he’s been a huge disappointment to those of us expecting him to continue his headline-grabbing ways. As far as we can tell, he hasn’t introduced a single bill calling for unwed mothers to…
Not As Simple As Black and White
Houston produces black baseball players. (Cf. Carl Crawford.) It just doesn’t keep them. (Ibid.) Tune into local sports radio these days and you’ve got a better than average chance of hearing someone commenting (critical or otherwise) on the lily-white makeup of the Astros’ roster. Of course, this isn’t exactly a…
We Hear He’s Rolling to Houston Tomorrow Morning to Buy Some Aerosmith Tickets
In the movie Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey plays a dude who just can’t let go of his high-school glory days, who hangs out with the football studs and hits on debate chicks. “I keep getting older, they stay the same age,” he says of high school girls, somehow making…
Putting His Foot in His Mouth After Wearing a Bloody Sock
We all think that there’s no one who could be a bigger media whore than The Rocket. But I’d argue that Curt Schilling is his equal, if not his superior, when it comes to grabbing the media spotlight. Who can forget the bloody sock (fake or not)? The guy’s got…
Lidge Gets the Win. Yep, You Read That Right.
The Astros won again last night. That makes two straight. Who knows, if the Astros find a way to play the Reds for every game the rest of the season, they just might find a way to win the pennant. The Astros are 5-1 against the Reds. The Astros are…
Ich bin ein BFF
For the massive audience of readers who have ensured a never-ending stream of books about John F. Kennedy, a guy by the name of LeMoyne Billings has always been a sort of bit player. JFK and Billings bonded immediately and inseparably at the prep school Choate, and for the rest…
Verizon Drops Stefani
So, Verizon Wireless has backed out as sponsor of the Gwen Stefani tour. Seems the problem isn’t Ms. Stefani, but Akon, one of her opening acts (the other is Lady Sov). Akon was filmed dancing in a suggestive manner with a 15-year-old fan last month, the whole R. Kelly-ness of…
Flip. Click. Submit.
Being a photojournalist doesn’t always require lugging around tons of lights, lenses and film. Sometimes all you need is a decent camera phone and a good eye for composition. Which is why the theme for May’s photo contest for Houston-area high school students is…whatever the heck you want, so long…
Getting Rogered, Once Again
Roger Clemens is a whorish fat putz. — Todd Spivak…
Fresh Juice
A Tampa Bay Devil Rays pitcher was suspended yesterday for 50 games. The suspension is for steroids. If you’ll notice, there are a lot of pitchers on this list of players nailed for steroids. I bring this up for one reason: Roger Clemens is no longer in Houston. And as…
Wait, Was That Brad Lidge? We Could’ve Swore It Was Him for a Second
The Astros continued with the eighth inning magic last night when Luke Scott hit a three-run homer to put the Astros up 5-2. Then, Phil Garner tried playing manager again. He went with Trever Miller of the seven-plus ERA to start the bottom of the eighth. Miller started by giving…
Dropping Today
Here’s a look at some of the new CDs dropping today. Houston rapper Mike Jones made a splash in 2005 with his major label debut, Who is Mike Jones? The CD went platinum and topped the rap/hip-hop charts, so there are high hopes for The American Dream. Bjork’s new release,…
Lazy Gabacho
We started writing a preview for Village Voice Media columnist Gustavo Arellano’s upcoming appearance as part of the tour for his new book ¡Ask a Mexican!, but we decided to just write him a letter: Dear Mexican: Why should we come out to your book signing at Barnes & Noble?…
Too Much Space
When the space shuttle Columbia disintegrated in February 2003, all but paralyzing NASA, it presented the space agency with a very pressing problem: What were they going to do about the three guys stuck in space? The members of Expedition Six — two Americans and a Russian — had been…
Stop the Hatin’. Unless You’re Talking about the Mavericks, Of Course.
For the diehard oh-my-God-I-love-the-Rockets-and-T-Mac-will-no-longer-be-a-second-round-virgin fan, Saturday was devastating. Of course, it hurts more when you get to eat your words which were posted on a Web site for everyone to see. To clear up my previous entry, I don’t think T-Mac was being arrogant and I don’t think Houston fans…
Dewberry Time
Photos by Robb Walsh The dewberry vendors were out on 290 in Hempstead this weekend. The wild blackberries are only in season for a couple of weeks, so don’t miss out. I bought a gallon for $22 with the intention of making pies. Then I saw Birdie Gail’s blackberry pie…
Dewberry Time
Photos by Robb Walsh The dewberry vendors were out on 290 in Hempstead this weekend. The wild blackberries are only in season for a couple of weeks, so don’t miss out. I bought a gallon for $22 with the intention of making pies. Then I saw Birdie Gail’s blackberry pie…
Re: Getting Rogered
Want to really revel in your despair? Here’s the recording of Clemens’ announcement during yesterday’s seventh-inning stretch. The Yanks announcer, Suzyn Waldman, is a homer that makes Milo Hamilton sound objective, and she all but orgasms over the news. — Richard Connelly…
At Least Saturday Was Good for the ‘Stros
So, I hear that some guy named Roger Clemens has decided to sign with the New York Yankees. Is this supposed to be big news? Has anyone else heard anything? But, on with the Astros. The team went 1-2 this weekend against the reeling, last place St. Louis Cardinals. Woody…
Artist of the Week
We’re adding a new feature to the HouStoned Rocks, Artist of the Week, and we’re taking suggestions (okay, nominations) for our first artist. Who do you think is doing something new and different on Houston’s music scene? Who deserves a little notice? Leave your suggestions in the comments section for…
Where Do We Go from Here?
The Rockets need more athletes like this. The Utah Jazz are a much more athletic team than your Houston Rockets. Read that sentence again. Now, let the words marinate inside your brain for awhile. The Utah Jazz… more athletic? Really? Sadly, it’s true. Tracy McGrady acknowledged as much during a…
Getting Rogered, Again
Imagine that. Roger Clemens has signed with the New York Yankees. It’s nice to see that the city of Houston is still standing, though, from what I heard on the Astros post-game show, there are many of my fellow Houstonians standing on a ledge waiting to jump. I’ve made it…
Getting Rogered
Hey, was there any Astros-related news this weekend? (Besides dropping another series in St. Louis, we mean.) Oh, yeah: Houstonians got introduced to the real Roger Clemens. For years now St. Roger has been a altruistic icon who pitched because of his simple love of Houston. Anyone who suggested otherwise…
We Assume Cocktails Will Follow
We consider ourselves to be connoisseurs, tastemakers, as it were, when it comes to judging acronyms. And when the following press release landed in our inbox, we knew we had a winner. With application in hand and approval granted by the parade committee, it’s official, GALLO, Houston’s Gay and Lesbian…
Heathens No More
Looks like Debbie Riddle, R-Tomball, managed to inject a little religion into what apparently had been Godless Texas classrooms before last night. Her bill to add “under God” to the Texas pledge passed the House by a vote of 124 to 5. The reps stayed late last night, each taking…
We Can All Be Golden State Fans for at Least a Day or Two
GOLDEN STATE! Making NBA history, Golden state beat the Mavs in Game Six last night, 111-86. It’s always nice to see a cocky number one seed go down. And it’s always nicer to see Mark Cuban, quite possibly the most self-obsessed human alive, fail. Yeah, it seems like some of…
Buen Idea
Remember all the uproar when Dallas-based Pizza Patrón began accepting pesos a few months back? The horror! The treachery! The 34.8 percent increase in sales! dBusinessNews has the story: Pizza Patrón, the premier Latino pizza brand, announced today its first quarter sales for this year have increased 34.8 percent versus…
Buen Idea
Remember all the uproar when Dallas-based Pizza Patrón began accepting pesos a few months back? The horror! The treachery! The 34.8 percent increase in sales! dBusinessNews has the story: Pizza Patrón, the premier Latino pizza brand, announced today its first quarter sales for this year have increased 34.8 percent versus…
Rotation: Dueling DJs
Okay, they’re not exactly dueling. Actually they’re not dueling at all, we just liked the title. Two Houston area DJs, DJ Mo Phatt and DJ Josh Dupont, gave us their top ten list and we thought we’d pass them on to you. Compare, contrast, discuss. DJ Mo Phatt 1. “Errday”…
Game Seven: T-Mac’s Biggest Test
“It’s on me.” That was the emphatic declaration made by Tracy McGrady before Game 1 of the Rockets’ series with Utah. Often accused of being a front-runner and criticized for his inability to lead teammates to the promised land (or even the second round), T-Mac let it be known he…
What a Relief
We hope this guy didn’t actually plan on playing this year. Okay, I’m a big man. I can admit when I’ve been wrong. So, Wandy Rodriguez, I apologize for some of the things that I’ve said about you. However, I really think that you need to have a nice little…
Live Shots: Toots and the Maytals
Toots and the Maytals were jumping last night – literally. The Jamaican singer punctuated most of his upbeat choruses by jumping up and down in beat to the music, taking his audience along with him. Toots has been performing since the early 1960s, and he’s seen (if not spawned) all…
The Society of S
It’s hard to make vampires boring, but Susan Hubbard manages to do exactly that. The Society of S follows Ariella Montero, a thirteen-year-old girl who discovers she’s a vampire. Her father is a vampire. Her mother is a vampire. It seems everyone she knows either is or wants to be…
Take That, Cardinals!
Okay, kids, Roy Oswalt played the role of the ace stopper last night. And he did it perfectly. The Astros won the game over the Reds 3-1. Oswalt pitched eight innings, throwing only 95 pitches, 74 of which were for strikes. Phil Garner moved Hunter Pence up to the second…
Le Rock et le Roll
Maybe – but only maybe – when Bellaire’s Gail Reaben received an 8 mm Kodak camera for Christmas in 1954, she dreamed of going to exotic film festivals. Well, now she is going to one – Cannes, the most glamorous of them all – and it’s all because of that…
Gwen Stefani and Lady Sovereign
Gwen Stefani’s on the road behind her new album, The Sweet Escape. Coming along with her is rapper Lady Sovereign, the sass-tastic British import. On first glance, a bill with these two seems perfect. Both deal in happy party music for girls zooming around the ‘burbs in their Jettas. Both…
CD Reviews
Blues music is very much a live art form, making it difficult if not outright impossible to truly capture on recordings. It’s not just the music, it’s the smoky haze that hangs in the room, the sweat that drips off the drummer’s face, the shuffle of high heels on a…
Red Hog Saloon
“Hey, don’t play no sad songs, okay? They make Bob cry,” says a six-foot blond guy in camo pants and a T-shirt that says, “Billing’s Transmissions” on the back. I’m at the Red Hog Saloon (10312 Hempstead Road, 713-290-1666). Bob, or at least who I assume is Bob, is a…
Take Away the Lady
If you relish a finely tuned, old-fashioned English-drawing-room murder mystery, the kind where everyone has a bloody good motive for doing the dastardly deed not once, but twice, mind you then you’ll feel all cozy and warm with Theatre Suburbia’s fine production of Jimmie Chinn’s deadly puzzler, Take Away the…
Digital Underground
Oakland’s Digital Underground, the funk-influenced hip-hop group, rose to fame thanks to their 1990 single “The Humpty Dance” off their album Sex Packets. The song featured lead man Greg “Shock G” Jacobs as his alter ego Humpty. The persona fooled everyone, including then YO! MTV Raps hosts Dr. Dre and…
Crisis in Suburbia
Little Children (New Line) In the eyes of Hollywood, our American suburbs are so filled with perversion and treachery that it seems the government ought to crack down on something. Until then, we can count on movies like Little Children to keep us informed. Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson are…
Son Volt
Jay Farrar, who has always preferred to let his music do his talking, formed Son Volt following his highly publicized split with Jeff Tweedy and subsequent breakup of their band, Uncle Tupelo (Tweedy went on to front Wilco). While critics and fans raved about Son Volt’s releases, the band was…
Birds of Avalon
After several years of constant touring with The Cherry Valence, guitarists Paul Siler and Cheetie Kumar decided they’d had enough and disbanded the group (seven years of sitting in a van next to a drum kit isn’t the glam life it seems to be). They settled down, got married and…
Armandos
At a wheeled cart beside our table, an elderly Hispanic gentleman in a server’s uniform stretched the hot strings of cheese high above the sizzling serving dish, rolling and shaping it with a flourish. Queso flameado, a signature appetizer at the newly reopened Armandos on Westheimer, is broiled with your…
Five Times August
Okay, Houston, are we just the last to know? Dallas native Brad Skistimas, a.k.a. Five Times August (he was born on August 5 and assumed no one could spell or remember Skistimas), seems to be the hottest unsigned commodity in pop music. He’s had songs on MTV’s Laguna Beach: The…
THE MEZZANINE LOUNGE’S
When it comes to bars, Monday nights are usually reminiscent of a George Romero flick. You’ve basically got three groups straight out of Dawn of the Dead: loners, drunks and people with nothing better to do. So I’m pleasantly surprised when I stumble upon The Mezzanine Lounge (2200 Southwest Freeway,…
Spider-Man 3
What is it with the third installments in superhero film franchises? For whatever reason and, oh, let’s just call it the lack of fresh ideas commingled with the love of money — they always strike out swinging their time up to bat. It happened with Superman III, when Richard Pryor…
Spy Stories
Four days before Christmas, 1988. A flight takes off from Heathrow, headed for New York. Thirty-eight minutes later, one blip on the radar becomes four. Hidden in a Toshiba cassette player inside a brown Samsonite suitcase, a block of plastic explosive punches a 20-inch hole in the left side of…
Offside
Jafar Panahi is a paradoxical populist. He makes crowd-pleasing art movies, often set in the midst of life the urban crowd is one of his subjects and is a virtuoso director of (non) actors. On the other hand, this most widely seen of Iranian filmmakers is also the most frequently…
Five Wines That’ll Blow Your Mind
The 1992 vintage and the 1993 vintage of the same wine from the same winery can taste dramatically different. It’s all about the sun and the rain and the fog and the frost. Some wine lovers memorize the vintage charts. Others say that if you buy wine from great wineries,…
Stage Capsule Reviews
Galley Proof Jeannette Clift George’s tale of Moses and his wayward Israelites is given the intimate, let’s-put-on-a-show Godspell treatment at A.D. Players. Under the guise of a Sunday school lesson, or a living sermon, the six-member assembly acts out this week’s pastoral homily, asking us to suspend disbelief and use…
Lucio’s
At Lucio’s (905 Taft, 713-523-9958), the pork chop ($20) is one of the best — and least expensive — ever. Wrapped in crispy fried prosciutto, it is stuffed with duxelle, a mixture of mushrooms and shallots cooked in butter with wine. The prosciutto lends the dish an interesting smoky, salty…
“Transformation 5: Contemporary Works in Found Materials”
For contemporary artists who work in the medium of discarded, found or recycled objects and materials, the most obvious theme is transformation. Whether it’s the transformation of utilitarian objects into sculpture or fabric scraps into a quilt, the allure of “found” art lies in seeing a new value, perspective or…
Art Capsule Reviews
“Allison Hunter: New Animals” “New Animals” is a continuation of Allison Hunter’s “Simply Stunning” series, which showed at New York’s 511 Gallery last year. The Houston-based photographer’s recent work concentrates largely on animals, and the images reflect a progression toward emancipating creatures from the worldly environment. Sheep and deer inhabit…
Mail Call
Where do I start? First, the number of Houston Press Menu of Menus tickets sold should have been limited, or there should have been two functions, one going from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. and a second one from 8 p.m. or 8:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. Second, there should…
Mexican-American Culture
Dear Mexican, I’m a gringa married to a mexicano and we have a three-year-old son. His family is wonderful for the most part and they adore my son, but as he is getting older, his tios are trying to “toughen him up” and make him more macho. So far, they’ve…
Paul Meany
DJ Shadow was like the Mozart of sampling,” Mute Math’s keyboardist/singer Paul Meany says earnestly. The New Orleans musician says Shadow sparked his musical interest as a teen and continues to influence Mute Math’s experimental rock sound. “There was a little record DJ Shadow put out called Endtroducing,” he says…
Super Paper Mario
Publisher: Nintendo
Platform: Wii
Price: $49.99
ESRB Rating: E (for Everyone)
Score: 9.5 (out of 10)
Houston Mixtape Volume III
About six months ago, we committed to an ongoing lifetime project, a stab at creating the ultimate Houston mixtape. The criteria are simple the song must be about Houston, and it must not suck. On our blog, you can find a list of the songs as well as mp3s (and…
Top DVDs
Alpha Dog (Universal) An Officer and a Gentleman: Special Collector’s Edition (Paramount) The Best of the Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet (Shout) Beverly Hills 90210: The Second Season (Paramount) Clint Eastwood: Western Icon Collection (Universal) A Collection of 2006 Academy Award Nominated Short Films (Magnolia) Fletch: The Jane Doe Edition…
Critic’s Dictionary
From time to time we like to explain all those cryptic musical terms that critics use in reviews and profiles. Here’s our insider’s look at words that start with the letter A. Artist n. Any person who performs onstage, in a recording studio or live concert setting. (Used even by…
Coming Up Empty
Six long years ago, when Darla Gideon first thought of opening a little strip club on I-45 north of town, she never figured she’d end up arguing about parrots. A ton of legal fees later, she’s still arguing about parrots. But what’s even more odd, she’s got Sam Nuchia —…
Cred Sheet
Awkward IM Conversations “Man, I’m really bored here, nothing to entertain me but the hives.” “Yeah, man, great band.” “No, I mean I just went camping and I broke out in actual hives.” Oh. Abrupt Ticket-Buying Hysteria The National evidently sell out every available venue in town every night for…
Snakes|Dalai Lama at Rice Univ.|Houston Rockets|Missing Pets
State Rep. Harvey Hilderbran has gone all Samuel L. Jackson on us. There’s no other way to put it — he has had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes in this motherfuckin’ state. Hilderbran, a Republican from Kerrville, is fed up with all the poisonous snakes and deadly constrictorsÉthat he’s seen…