InfoWars Thinks Katy Perry & Kesha Are Illuminati Witches

Look, I'm not a fan of Kesha and Katy Perry. Aside from possibly the greatest Bob Dylan cover ever the former is a musical cardboard cutout that collects fans' teeth to make jewelry, and the latter is one of the reason no one likes white people. When Snoop Dogg looks embarrassed to be in your music video you have hit a new low, because Snoop deleted that emotion decades ago and had to re-download it from some kind of spiritual iCloud just to feel it again.

That said, they are famous, and justly so, because they sing catchy songs. Terrible songs, true, but catchy as hell. I can sing the chorus of every Katy Perry song I have ever heard and know all of "Take It Off" by heart after only hearing it twice. As earworm conduits. they get full marks and all my respect. I would certainly never claim that they won their place through a vast Illuminati conspiracy.

But then again, I'm not InfoWars, who believes that the actions of these two young women are honestly part of the dreaded New World Order. That's right; Alex Jones is apparently living inside the plot of the Josie and the Pussycats movie and thinks it was a documentary.