Dear Willie D:

My neighbor’s girlfriend is always beating on him. Whenever the cops come, she never goes to jail; they make him leave to stay overnight somewhere else. Then the next day they’re right back at it again. I’m a female, and this makes me angry.

His girlfriend is a small woman, so he could hurt her if he wanted to, but he never fights back. The most he will do is push her off of him. His girlfriend is not the only female who acts this way. I see it more and more with today’s younger women. Why do girls think they can hit guys and get away with it?

Angry Female:

Let’s see, hundreds of years of reinforcement that men won’t hit them back, overinflated egos, the reluctance of law enforcement and the judicial system to hold them accountable, societal acceptance, they underestimate the power of men, a lack of respect for men, the fact that they can beat other women fighting, the guy forced them to be violent, a false sense of reality…

And here’s my all-time favorite that a girl actually told me recently when she explained why it’s okay for girls to hit guys: Because sometimes they deserve it.

MIKE PENCE FOR PRESIDENT?

Dear Willie D:

Looks like your boy Trump might get impeached after all. If that happens, Mike Pence would be next in line to run the show. I know how you feel about the Don, but would you support a Mike Pence administration?

Mike Pence Supporter:

Why pick one moron over the other? I was about to call Mike Pence a lying whore, but then I thought that would be disrespectful. Whores are doing honest work.

HOW SHOULD A GODLY MAN PURSUE A GODLY WOMAN?

Dear Willie D:

I’m a deacon at my church who is smitten with a woman who is separated from her husband. They are going through a divorce, but I don’t know the status. I can tell she likes me, but I don’t want to make the first move and give her the impression that I’m disrespectful of her soon-to-be-over marriage.

How does a Godly man pursue a Godly woman while simultaneously respecting the sanctity of marriage?

Godly Man:

You don’t want to pursue a woman while she’s going through a breakup. That’ll only complicate her life more. For now, the best thing you can do is be a friend. What she needs now more than anything is support, personal space, and time to heal.

If you’ve been there for her through the pain, she’ll take notice, and if she’s romantically interested in you, she’ll let you know. The trick is knowing how to identify the signs. You’re already on first base: You have her attention. There’s no need to rush into anything. In due course, what will be, will be.

I WANT REVENGE ON THE PEOPLE WHO HURT ME IN THE PAST

Dear Willie D:

Shortly after I began my freshman year of middle school, I was relentlessly and shamelessly bullied. People laughed at me when I would get smacked across the head walking down the hall, I had my lunch taken too many times to remember, and I got my ass beat so much walking home from school that I just grew to accept it.

When I told my dad about it, he basically told me to man up, and my mom left it at that. I didn’t have a girlfriend during my entire high-school career. The one girl I liked only wanted to be friends, and she ended up marrying the main dude that bullied me (they are still together). I hate everybody from my past. I’m 48 and still haven’t gotten over it, man.

My 30-year class reunion will be in a few months, and I swear the only reason I want to go is to fuck somebody up. This whole experience has caused me to become an alcoholic and drug user. I have been divorced twice, and in and out of rehab more than a dozen times. The bullying basically destroyed my life. How do I get over my vindictive mind-set?

Vindictive Mindset:

If this was something that had recently happened, I could understand your rage. But this was 30 years ago, bro. It’s time to let it go and move on with your life. You’re literally killing yourself. The best revenge would be to talk to a therapist for depression, then get help with your addictions, and show up at the reunion letting them see you doing well for yourself. In other words, stunt on their asses.

Alternatively, if you want to be petty, you could locate your old high-school crush and her bully husband while they’re eating at the reunion, then walk by them and fart in their general direction.

Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.