Ask Willie D

My Girl Left After I Bought Her a Car. Help!

My Girl Left After I Bought Her a Car. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Dear Willie D:

My relationship with my ex has always been toxic, but we routinely managed to keep interest in one another and work out our differences. That is until I put $8,000 down on her new car. Within a week after she got the car, she claimed she needed space. Then I found out she left me for some dude she works with.

I feel like a fool. How can I get my money back and stop loving a girl who destroys me inside?

Burn Rubber:

That’s cold-blooded. Since you didn’t state that the $8,000 was a loan, I assume it was a gift. As such, money gone. Now let’s talk love. Relationships work best when equality is at the center. It’s time to move on, bro. You can’t make someone you love love you any more than someone you don’t love can make you love her.


Dear Willie D:

I have been on meds for the past year trying to control my emotions. The meds work when I take them, but I don’t like how they make me feel, so I skip them more than I should.

I love my dad. My life wouldn’t be the same without him, but sometimes he gets under my skin so badly that I just snap, and [I] become belligerent. He is old and I should have more patience, but he forgets stuff all the time. He even forgot to pick me up from work one day.

When people cancel plans with me I get very angry, and I hate it when I know I’m right and somebody wants to argue with me like my best friend does all the time. For that reason, we haven’t spoken to each other in weeks. So, what can I do short of taking more meds to avoid these episodes?

Dear Agitated:

Talk to your doctor. You may need an adjustment in your meds. Alternatively, you could do what I did, and practice thinking before you react. Also, load your playlist with James Taylor and Stevie Wonder. Nobody can be angry listening to those dudes.


Dear Willie D:

I’ve never been the type to complain. I’m an easygoing person, but I can’t hold back my frustrations with my job. I work at a family-owned restaurant, and it is filthy. I can’t believe the health inspector hasn’t shut it down.

If you walk through the kitchen, you will see grease everywhere: on the floor, on countertops, in the drains, pipes, everywhere. Most of the employees use their bare hands to handle food after sweeping or mopping the floor. To top it off, there’s a leak in the roof where they make the bread.

I haven’t said anything directly, but others have complained to management. I don’t want to lose my job, and I don’t want them to get shut down, because the owners are really nice people. But they need to clean up their act. So, how does that happen when they ignore the issues, and complaints from their employees?

Kitchen Stink:

If your employers won’t clean up their act even after your coworkers complain, you’re fighting a losing battle. Here’s another thought…call the health inspector anonymously to report them. They’ll be allowed to reopen following an ordered clean-up and re-inspection.

You’ll probably have to call again in a few weeks, so save the number.


Dear Willie D:

I’ve been dating this certain girl for eight months, and all of sudden she has gotten to where she now wants to hold hands in public. She is 22 and I am 24. Isn’t holding hands in public a little juvenile?

Holding Hands:

There is nothing juvenile about public displays of affection with the one you love. Holding hands is an intimate gesture. For a woman, it’s a sign of affection, security and connection. It tells her, "I’m yours, and you’re mine." If you’re not at the level where you want to hold hands with your girl in public, don’t. But let it be because you’re not comfortable with it, not so you can make someone else comfortable.

Ask Willie D anything at, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D