Five Spot: Eminem Releasing New Album, Still White

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to [email protected].

Eminem released a single from his forthcoming LP Relapse - due in December - on his Sirius radio station earlier this week, and we couldn't be happier about it. Not only is Em one of the better rappers out - or "Best Rapper," if Vibe is to be believed - but he's also white!

We're not sure if (or why) that's a big deal, but some people seem to think so; although this guy appears to hate him because "he's ugly" and "he's going to get BAD KARMA forever," which seem like pretty logical reasons not to like a rapper.

Philosophical come-uppins notwithstanding, though, Em releasing a new is album is always "Brilliant," if for no other reason than because it allows to revisit some of our other favorite Caucasian rhymers.

1. MC Serch of 3rd Bass: We know Brother J of X-Clan isn't a fan of Serch - whom we wholeheartedly did not defend against J's remarks when we interviewed him, because Brother J can be friggin' intimidating - but we happen to have thought he was all kinds of dope back in 1991. We even signed up to perform "Pop Goes The Weasel" at our elementary school talent show but totally chickened out. Makes no nevermind, the song is still dope, and so are MC Serch's big framed glasses.

2. Paul Wall: Mr. Wall has always been a punchline of sorts for us, but his contribution on "Still Tippin'" is solid regardless. If Wikipedia is to be believed, Wall graduated from U of H with a degree in Industrial Engineering. This strikes us as incorrect, somehow.

Rambo Amadeus, "Plastik Fantastik"

3. Rambo Amadeus. We don't give a shit what his music sounds like - the answer: extremely German - his name is a combination of John friggin' Rambo and Wolfgang mutha-effin Amadeus Mozart. Checkmate.

4. Young Black Teenagers: Never got the racially charged respect they deserved. Even still, we've always had a soft spot in our heart for this album. (Free download.)

5. Marky Mark: Honestly, we weren't big fans of Marky Mark, but we just so happened to watch The Happening last night so we felt obliged to put him on here. You know how when you see a teaser to a porno and you're like, "Man, I gotta download that," then you download it and realize that teaser was pretty much all you needed to know about the movie. That's what The Happening is like, except instead of people having sex, they're killing themselves. - Shea Serrano

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Shea Serrano