So, Coachella tickets sold out a few weeks ago. Evidently, the lineup is killer, accommodating to most tastes. Last year, the festival sold out in a week. This year, even with two weekends available, tickets sold out within a couple of hours.
Don't have tickets to the show? Don't fret! What if there were not only two weekends of Coachella happening this year, but many more with plenty of tickets still available? Okay. There aren't, but here are a few imagined alternate Coachella festivals.
FYI, information on these festivals can't be found anywhere else. This stuff is totally exclusive.
1. There's Dreamchella, featuring pretty lights.
2. Brace yourself, for this lineup is godly. Who wouldn't want to see Dethklok followed by B-B-B-Benny and the Jets? I'm in awe. Timmy! and the Lords of the Underworld will be playing too! If you haven't heard of them, trust me, they can really put on a mind-blowing show.
3. This version of Coachella is the perfect festival for the interweb lurkers out there, which, let's be honest, is probably most of you. The last thing one would want to do is hide their wife and kids from such an event. With this kind of quality homegrown entertainment, you and your entire family would be bound to really enjoy yourselves.
4. Here's a gem. At this festival, just try not to rock out with... your valuables out. Keep your whatever valuables you choose to bring with you close, for music festivals tend to get crowded and things can easily get stolen.
5. There's also Easychella. Imagine going to go see all of your favorite easy-listening acts such as Kenny G, Michael Bolton, Barry Manilow, Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand, Olivia Newton-John, Jimmy-Buffett, Aaron Neville, Hall & Oates, Phil Collins, Savage Garden, Hootie & the Blowfish, The Righteous Brothers, Dave Matthews Band, Jack Johnson, Dido, Nick Lachey and oh so much more. There will be tents sponsored by Lifetime Television planted throughout this festival, providing samples of the new Chick Beer and free relationship advice.
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Just think, this could be you and your friends!
6. Okay. This one is blatantly fake. Come on.