Rocks Off is so excited about this, we could just... well, we don't know what, but we're pretty damn excited.
About a week ago, we got an email from Willie D of the Geto Boys offering his services as an advice columnist. No shit. It turns out that besides one of the most volatile MCs in Houston rap history, Willie is a fan of the Houston Press. Why wouldn't he be, right?
"The style would be me, Willie D," he proposed. "Funny, serious, unpredictable, diverse coverage of real-life shit, straight no chase [sic]. Sort of like the HP."
Aw, shucks. Turns out that for some time Willie has been engaging in Q&A-style dialogues with folks via Formspring, and he's definitely got the knack for it.
For example, one Australian bloke wrote to Willie searching for the proper NFL team to swear his allegiance.
Q: Willie, I am in Australia but a lot of my mates follow NFL. I am going to give it a crack but don't know who to go for. Can you give me some guidance?
Willie D: I would pull for teams who have winning traditions like Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, New York Giants, Denver Broncos, Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers, Miami Dolphins or Washington Redskins.
These teams collectively are responsible for winning over half of all Super Bowls. This way you will experience less heartache from losses, and if your team don't go all the way you can always pull the ole "Yeah but how many Super Bowls have y'all won" card.
However, if you have a girl that you like or a father-in-law whom you want to impress [and] is a fan of one of the other teams, you may want to get a few brownie points by kissing up and pretending to like his team.
Not bad, huh? We asked Willie to introduce himself a little more, and explain what makes him qualified to help our readers with some of their more perplexing issues. The man who proclaimed "I'm Not a Gentleman" on an early Geto Boys song has the kind of life experiences that should make you listen to whatever he has to say. Before he sold millions of albums, Willie grew up rough in one of Houston's roughest areas, Fifth Ward, and tells Rocks Off, "I"ve seen people get killed."
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"To escape the wrath of my environment, I listened intently to Stevie Wonder and watched television series like Good Times, Little House On the Prairie and The Brady Bunch," he says. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What the hell is a Geto Boy doing watching Little House On the Prairie and The Brady Bunch?"
We'll let him finish.
Well, boys and girls, I was sucking up game. You see, like Good Times, those shows all had something I didn't believe I had at home and, to be real with you, it's also missing in a lot of homes today: love.
Maybe it's me, but it seemed like people cared about each other back then. They cared about their neighbors and they cared about their neighbors' children. Not so much these days.
When you Ask Willie D, just like with my music, you will get the truth. No faking and shaking, boot-licking and brown-nosing or circumventing the issues to appeal to the base.
I'm not interested in being popular, I'm interested in the people. If you can dig that, send me your questions and I'll give you real advice on everything from parenting to work, relationships to politics and finance to sex.
There are others who are capable of offering sound advice, but until Willie D speak on it, it ain't been spoken!
The doctor is in. Willie D, Rocks Off's resident advice columnist, will now take your questions. And when he answers a question, it stays answered.
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Holler at him at askwillied.com. (That link right there.) Then come back Thursday morning for your first taste of Willie's advice.