This post is going to be very simple and to the point.
Do you know who I hate? The Olly Girls.
I HATE THEM.
In case you are living a blissful existence and don’t know about these two terrors, let me enlighten you. They are resident dunces on E!’s latest reality show, “Sunset Tan.” Now if we were to rank reality shows like we rank universities, in my opinion “Project Runway” would be Harvard University and “Sunset Tan” would be Fresno State. And that’s actually an insult to Fresno State.
At any rate, “Sunset Tan” follows the goings-on at a (guess what?) tanning salon, and each time I’ve watched even five minutes of it, I’ve had to run to the bathroom for a Silkwood shower. It is that low brow, boring, and duuuuuuumb.
But despite my limited watching of said show, The Olly Girls – two women who work at the tanning salon named Molly and Holly – seem to poison my soul even when I catch only a second of them.
Here is why I hate them:
I hate The Olly Girls because they are everything that gives women, especially blond women, a bad name.
They seem stupid, and they use this stupidity to attract men.
They spell the word scary “scarey” on their MySpace Web site, so perhaps they actually are stupid.
On one episode of “Sunset Tan,” they flirted with Chris Kattan. I mean, Chris Kattan?
On the aforementioned MySpace page, they address readers of the page as “gangsters” (as in “Hey Gangsters!”) even though the most gangster thing about them is they probably, like, totally love, like, Snoop Dogg and stuff.
They giggle incessantly.
Once again, getting back to the MySpace page, when you click on the books link to see what their favorite books are, you get linked to an empty space.
In an interview with the BuddyTV Web site, they claim one of their current goals in life is to make their own candy product and call it an Olly Pop.
People who like them would probably say, “Oh, Miss Pop Rocks, you just hate them `cuz they’re pretty,” when in fact I wouldn’t mind if Angelina Jolie showed up at my house naked, and because I don’t, in fact, think The Olly Girls are pretty.
Okay, that pretty much covers it.
So now do you know what I hate? Yeah, The Olly Girls.
There, I feel better now. – Jennifer Mathieu
This article appears in Aug 30 – Sep 5, 2007.
