Steroids and Roger Clemens
Yesterday, speaking through his agent, Roger Clemens said, “I want to state clearly and without qualification: I did not take steroids, human growth hormone or any other banned substances at any time in my baseball career or, in fact, my entire life.” Last week, speaking through his attorney, Roger Clemens…
O Unholy Strife: The Worst Christmas Carol Ever
Some songs start off bad and get pretty good. Others start well and fizzle. This apparently unreleased version of “O Holy Night” we found on the Web starts badly, and ascends farther and farther into ever more inglorious strata of crapulosity. Yes, I fell on my knees, but not because…
Trade Talk: Miguel Tejada, Jose Valverde, Chris Burke, Mark Prior and Lance Berkman
I disappeared to California for a few days because I expected things to slow down for a bit. Okay, I didn’t really expect that, but damn it, I needed some time away from this god-awful city and I was hoping things would be quiet for a bit. After all, right…
Drenched in Blog: Lily Allen Plus One
So let me get this straight. This week, I found out I’m a wanted fugitive in La Grange. My Rogaine foam isn’t working, and I found a few gray hairs in my beard. And I still have no idea what to get my special lady friend for Christmas. Now, I…
What the Presidential Candidates Are Like to Party With
Click here for a slideshow. In just a few short weeks, this country will be turning an eye to Iowa. Why? Because they grow our corn there. Actually, we’ll be paying attention to Iowa because they’ll be holding the Iowa presidential caucus on January 3. Now, in addition to acting…
Anthony Bourdain on Illegal Immigrant Labor in U.S. Kitchens
While working on this week’s feature about Hugo Ortega, I needed someone in the restaurant industry to explain the situation honestly. Understandably, no restaurant owner in Houston wanted to come out and say he was hiring illegals. So I e-mailed Tony Bourdain, who is not only a television star and…
Rap-a-Lot’s J. Prince Sues Apple, BET
We would just like to make one thing clear upfront: To the best of our knowledge, Rap-A-Lot Records owner J. Prince is neither a murderer nor a member of a Chicago gang called The Gangster Disciples. Now then: J. Prince has filed suit against Apple, Black Entertainment Television and parent…
John Royal’s Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part Two
As I said yesterday, the end of 2007 is coming and it’s time for me to one of those cheesy end-of-year lists. And if anyone does cheesy, it’s me. So here’s the continuation of my Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007. And, as I wrote yesterday, the ordering is random…
Local Family Wins $25K Home Depot Gift Card
Congratulations to Houston’s own Brian and Michele Long and their two daughters, who today were announced as the winners of Home Depot’s 2007 Holiday Gift Card Contest. Contestants were asked to shoot a homemade video explaining why they deserved a $25,000 gift card and upload it to YouTube. The Longs…
Does This Look Like a Vagina to You?
Okay, so one of our regular contributors, whom we’ll spare from naming (cough, Tunnel Mole), says this radish looks like a vagina. We personally don’t see more than a pair of legs (and maybe the visage of Mother Mary in those pecans, but that’s another matter entirely). However, we wouldn’t…
Little Joe Carols Zydeco Diner
Daniel Kramer Lunch time customers at Zydeco Louisiana Diner got a treat today – Houston guitar great Little Joe Washington performed an impromptu acoustic set of Christmas tunes. (“Rudolph had a really, really, really shiny nose”). No word on if he’ll be making a repeat appearance – Washington’s schedule is…
Cyberonics Sells Patent Rights for Pacemaker-like Device, HouStoned Headline Writer Inexplicably Not in Mood to Make “Heart” Pun
Houston-baed Cyberonics has sold patent rights on the Pulse Generator, a controversial device implanted into a patient’s chest. The $9.5 million deal grants Cincinnati-based Ethicon Endo-Surgery exclusive rights to use the pacemaker-like device in certain obese patients for the treatment of hypertension and diabetes, according to a press release Cyberonics…
Drenched in Blog: Top Five Videos of 2007
These are my favorite videos of the past year. This was the first year when we all stopped waiting on people like MTV and Fuse to give us what we wanted; now we all just YouTube everything. We don’t have to sit through Tila Tequila sifting through porno industry rejects…
Best and Worst Houston Sports Moments from 2007
They, whoever they are, say 15 people will look at an accident and bring back 15 different stories. We had a mini-version of that go down this year, when it seemed like columnists John Royal and Jason Friedman would pretty much always look at the same game, the same play,…
Battle of the Dimes: What’s in a Name?
Is this the Dimes… Sometime in the near future, Houston indie-rock fans will have to get used to calling one of their favorite bands something else entirely. Actually, some people will probably always refer to the Westside quartet as the Dimes, but management for another Dimes – a strummy quartet…
Slideshow: Top Ten Café Picks for 2007
From curry burritos to Bosnian hamburgers, our man Robb Walsh never shies away from a culinary challenge. So when we asked him to pick his top ten dishes from 2007, he licked his lips and dug right in. Click here to see what made the cut. — Keith Plocek…
John Royal’s Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part One
The end of the year is coming. And you know what that means, right? Yep, it’s time for all of those cheesy Top 10 lists. And who am I to buck this trend? Cheesy is what I do. But I’ve got a couple of lists, and they’re going to be…
Drenched in Blog: Listing 2007
Yeah, it’s that time of year again when all of us people in the rock journo cabals start telling you what we liked this year. Then we make little lists and try out-obscuring one another. It’s fun, in a very sad and angry nerd sort of way. Anyway, this week…
Christma-Hanuk-Kwanzaa-Kah
It’s a cowboy Christmas at the Ho-Ho-Ho-down to Holly-wood: Echoes of the Season, this year’s holiday concert by Bayou City Performing Arts (that’s the Gay Men’s Chorus of Houston and the Bayou City Women’s Chorus). “The ladies are going to be focusing on a Hollywood holiday,” says BCPA General Director…
Y’all Need to Give It Up For Hell Date
I know that last week I whined about the fact that the writers’ strike equals crappy television for Miss Pop Rocks. But I would be remiss if I did not take a minute and cheer on the glorious television BET show that is “Hell Date.” It’s this kind of fine…
Over the Weekend: Shopping, Stripping, Watching and Wishing
Anyone else out there try to do any shopping this weekend? The malls were freakin’ packed. The War on Christmas is officially over. What? That was just something Bill O’Reilly made up? Well, call it an easy victory. Anyway, we did more than just brave the Christmas crowds… Merry Stripmas…
John Royal’s Christmas Wish List
Dear Santa Claus, Hi, my name is John, and this is my Christmas wish list. I know you know what I’ve been thinking. And I know you know when I’ve been awake. And I know you know if I’ve been bad or good, so let’s just say I hope you’re…
Web Extra: Cancer and Birth Defects in Somerville
As part of our coverage on the unfolding public-health situation in Somerville, here are four clips of videotaped depositions from two former railroad tie-plant superintendents and a veteran employee on the failure to provide workers proper safety equipment and inform them on the long-term health hazards of working with coal-tar…
Weekend Music: Beyond the Garage
None more black (except for that one guy): Adema If you manage to pry yourself away from this weekend’s Texas Gone Garage festival at Rudz and Walter’s (see a full schedule here) – of course, TGG alone is worth an entire weekend of your time, just be sure to read…
Karen MacNeil and Texas Wines
Wine expert Karen MacNeil My favorite wine expert, Karen MacNeil, passed through Houston not long ago, and I was honored to join her for lunch. MacNeil’s 910-page paperback, The Wine Bible ($20 Workman, 2001), is the only reference book on wine that I keep on my desk. As the name…
Drenched In Blog: Ike Beats Tina to Death
It’s headlines like this that make me feel like I’m in the right profession. With five simple words, the entire game done changed. It’s right up there with Jay-Z’s Reasonable Doubt and the Ramones at CBGB. Thanks, New York Post. — Craig Hlavaty…
Art Brawl: CSAW Residents Given Notice to Vacate
As we reported back in October, the tenants at Commerce Street Artists’ Warehouse are in a real pickle. After allegedly violating a slew of CSAW tenant bylaws, property manager Maggi Battalino was ousted from her post as CEO/President by CSAW board members in a November 25 vote. The decision coincided…
Space Case: The Lisa Nowak E-mails
NASA has released about 220 pages of e-mails concerning the Lisa Nowak case. We’ll use a New York Times link if only for their choice of a spectacularly unhinged-looking Nowak to accompany it. The flirty highlights, such as they are, are in the story. Stud Bill Oefelein has several exchanges…
Broncos vs. Texans: An Open Letter to Mario Williams
Dear Mario, I was wrong. For nearly 20 months, I have cursed, chided and ridiculed you. I mistakenly believed you represented everything rancid about the ignominious Texans franchise. But—slowly, very slowly—I’ve come to find out you actually represent its greatest hope. I still recall the day I found out you—and…
Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Tomahawk Chop, Baby Jesus and One Grisly Neck Beard
Now that’s more like it. After two consecutive weeks of prognostication putridity bad enough to relegate me to the pigskin picks version of the NFC West, I finally got back on track and delivered the goods. No, 10-6 isn’t spectacular, but hopefully it’s good enough to serve as a springboard…
Miss Pop Rocks: I Can’t Handle More Daily Show Reruns!
Please. We need to know. I love Jon Stewart to pieces and everything, but let’s be honest. “The Daily Show” simply isn’t as funny when Jon’s jokes are two months old…and getting older. I’m talking, of course, about the Writers Guild of America strike. Or, as it’s known around my…
Get Lit: Twenty Thousand Roads: The Ballad of Gram Parsons and His Cosmic American Music, by David N. Meyer
To his champions, Gram Parsons was a cult-hero musical genius and the primary inventor of “country rock.” But he was also a tragic figure who died prematurely, and whose work has never been properly appreciated. To his critics, Parsons was a spoiled rich-kid wastrel who rode his good looks, marginal…
This TV Will Eat Your Baby
There is nothing more horrifying than a world without TV, and that’s just what the National Association of Broadcasters hope to drive home this weekend, when they roll a 20-foot TV through the streets of Houston. Dubbed the DTV Trekker, the behemoth has been loosed upon the world to remind…
Comets Move to Reliant Arena
WNBA basketball got knocked down a peg yesterday when Houston Comets owner Hilton Koch announced that the team will relocate from the Toyota Center to the smaller (and thus easier to fill) Reliant Arena. (Feel like a step-child yet, ladies?) “Reliant Arena’s smaller venue will be a great setting for…
Proletariat’s Denise Ramos: “It Just Didn’t Make Sense for Me to Keep Dealing with This”
Photo by Matt Marrand A typically packed Rock Box crowd stuffs the Proletariat, circa 2005 Since opening in September 2002, the Proletariat has been both neighborhood bar for the Richmond/Montrose crowd and the place for Pitchfork readers across the Houston area to see the bands they’ve been reading about: TV…
Drenched In Blog Extra: Lily of the Valley
Lily Allen in January’s British GQ is my anti-drug. – Craig Hlavaty…
John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Texans Are Gonna Get Bucked
Three more weeks. Three more weeks of the agony that is known as the NFL season for me. I once again had a losing week, once again going 7-9, for a season record of 87-119. I’ve got no excuses. I just suck. So, let’s get on with the suck…
Steroids in Baseball: For Every Action, There Is No Action
Sports studs J. Friedman and J. Royal have done a good job dissecting the Astros trade for Miguel Tejada. Mere minutes ago, Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig held a press conference regarding the Mitchell Report (which would be a lot cooler if it was pronounced “Mitchell Rapport”). Obviously, and…
Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Peter King is a Goober
Sometimes you have to wonder how guys like Sports Illustrated’s Peter King got their jobs. Was it just a matter of knowing the right person? Were they good at the time but got lazy once they climbed to the top of the mountain? Were they hired strictly to increase the…
Downtown Action: Protesting the Demolition of Public Housing in New Orleans
You have to love a good protest. About a dozen people gathered today at the corner of Fannin and Polk, site of the Housing and Urban Development office, to play drums, dance, wave signs and hand out fliers – all in the name of social justice. The issue was the…
Steroids in Baseball: Ken Caminiti, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Jason Grimsley, Gregg Zaun, Ron Villone, Chris Donnels, Miguel Tejada and Stephen Randolph
Okay, I’ve been spending some time with the Mitchell Report — all 409 pages. And to answer the question: if you took the over in the over/under of seven I gave out this morning, you win. George Mitchell named nine former/current Astros in his report: Ken Caminiti, Roger Clemens, Andy…
Slideshows: Fragile Nature and Fugly Lyrics
We’ve got a couple of new slideshows up today, one featuring the awesome nature photography of Joel Sartore, and the other the horrible lyrics of Avril Lavigne, Fall Out Boy and Maroon 5. Turns out nature and pop music can both be pretty damn brutal. — Keith Plocek…
Drenched In Blog: Um… Hallelujah?
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has just announced its Class of 2008. We expected noted rocker Madonna, because she can sell ad space. John Mellencamp gets in for his Middle America appeal. The Ventures and Dave Clark Five show up for all the whining completists begging for some…
Gettin’ Miggy With It: Astros Buy First Class Ticket to Loserville
I usually do my best to avoid the topic of baseball, but I feel compelled to speak on the subject today. No, I don’t really care about the Mitchell report. What’s it going to tell us that we don’t already know? A lot of big leaguers used performance enhancing drugs?…
New Cougar Head Coach: Kevin Sumlin
The Chron is reporting that UH Athletic Director Dave Maggard will be calling a press conference for tomorrow to announce that Kevin Sumlin will be the new head coach of the Cougar football team. Sumlin, 43, is currently the co-offensive coordinator, passing-game coordinator and wide receivers coach for the Oklahoma…
Get Over It: Jack Pardee Is Not a Saint
The University of Houston’s search for a new head coach has, sadly enough, brought back to life an embarrassing tic of the local sports media: Jack Pardee worship. UH, for some reason, has reportedly picked the geriatric Pardee as one of two finalists for the job. Which means we’re getting…
Roger Clemens Named in Steroid Report?
ESPN The Magazine is reporting that former Red Sox, Blue Jay, Yankee and Astro star Roger Clemens will be featured prominently in today’s Mitchell Report. He reportedly received steroids from a trainer with the New York Yankees, as well as from other suppliers. There’s been a lot of general interest…
Q&A with Daryl Morey: Riding the Rocket Roller Coaster
A lot has transpired since we last caught up with Rockets GM Daryl Morey. During that time, the team enjoyed its finest win of the season (on the road against Phoenix) and its worst (this past Monday, in Philadelphia). Considering the team’s roller coaster nature to date, none of this…
Slideshow: Top Ten Worst Song Lyrics of 2007
Click here for Linda Leseman’s list of the ten worst song lyrics of 2007…
$13 at La Viña Cuban Cuisine on Richmond
Where: La Viña Cuban Cuisine, 9419 Richmond, 713-526-9700 What $13 gets you: Carbs, tons of them. You’d think these Cubans are carbo-loading for a marathon the way they pack them on. To my undeveloped palate, Cuban cuisine has always seemed like a poor country cousin to Mexican cuisine. Although they…
Bobbindoctrin’s Fourth Annual Puppet Festival
Not all puppetry is Muppetry. This was proven to mainstream audiences recently when Broadway in Houston brought in Avenue Q, but it was already well-known among local fans of underground puppeteering (all five of them), thanks to Bobbindoctrin Puppet Theatre. The collective of performance and visual artists is known for…
The Literary Greats
The Literary Greats have a slightly bombastic name, but their music has an understated charm. Songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Brandon Elam, bassist Darin Lee, guitarist/keyboardist Taylor Lee and drummer Chris Ginsbach coolly assimilate the essential elements of half a dozen styles and wrap them in a blanket of warm, catchy Americana…
Bob Biggerstaff and Mike MacRae
Local comedians Bob Biggerstaff and Mike MacRae, who got their start at Houston’s Laff Stop, can now add “As Seen on TV” to their résumés. Biggerstaff was featured on Dave Attell’s recent HBO special Captain Miserable in a closing sketch. His best material is born out of his dry wit…
“Remembering Robin Utterback”
It came as a shock on March 30, 2007, when well-known Houston artist Robin Utterback was pronounced dead after being pulled from a fire at his Montrose home. Even more shocking was the news that came later: Utterback had actually died from multiple stab wounds inflicted by his partner, who…
A Christmas Story at Texas Repertory Theatre
Nine-year-old Ralphie wants just one thing from Santa: a Red Ryder BB gun. The warm comedy A Christmas Story follows his increasingly desperate pursuit of said firearm. The holiday classic also features high jinks by his little brother, friends and “haven’t-got-a-clue” parents. 7 p.m. Thursdays, 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays,…
“Fine Focus 06”
Work by 50 artists from around the world is on display in “Fine Focus 06,” showing the incredible range and diversity of the art-quilt movement. Rice Bowl and Bird by Terry Grant is a literal interpretation; a small bird is perched on a rice bowl, chopsticks nearby. While each of…
This Will Destroy You, Unwed Sailor
If you’d like an opinion on This Will Destroy You, just ask the Pentagon. According to a blog post on the San Marcos quartet’s MySpace page, two This Will Destroy You tunes provided the sound track for a presentation by the Pentagon on disaster preparedness. Apparently some fed preferred the…
Roméo et Juliette
Opera, as solid a cultural pillar as there is, is often sadly inaccessible to the general public (those high production costs lead to equally high ticket prices). To fill this gap (and perhaps try to undercut opera’s snooty image), several opera companies have been taking the music to the masses…
“Perspectives 159: Superconscious, Automatisms Now”
Stream of consciousness, in which running thoughts are used as the basis of a work, is one of the most difficult but rewarding styles lit buffs encounter — as anyone who’s made it through Naked Lunch or Last Exit to Brooklyn can attest. Now art fiends can grapple with the…
“Star Wars”
Science fiction meets science fact at “Star Wars,” a collection of props from the movies, on display at Space Center Houston. Residents of Houston and Tatooine alike can get a glimpse of famous artifacts including Luke Skywalker’s Jedi costume, the actual lightsaber wielded by Mark Hamill in Return of the…
William Boone: “A Man’s House Is His Coffin”
To figure out William Boone’s art, just talk to him. The local artist behind “A Man’s House Is His Coffin” isn’t interested in the abstract. “[Sometimes people] try to conceptualize art to where it takes a huge explanation,” Boone says. “I make art for myself, my friends and people who…
1st Annual Pre-Kwanzaa Ujamaa Festival
Get in the holiday spirit at the 1st Annual Pre-Kwanzaa Ujamaa Festival. Ujamaa means “cooperative economics” (the concept celebrated on the fourth day of Kwanzaa) — that is, that’s what it usually means. Today it means “fun.” The Almeda Corridor (Almeda Street from Wheeler Avenue to Southmore Boulevard) will be…
B-Boy HoDown 4th International Hip Hop Festival
The talent showcased at the B-Boy HoDown 4th International Hip Hop Festival might have you thinking twice about busting a move. Renowned dancers from all over the world are stopping in town for the competition, which features crew, tag-team and solo battles in traditional break-dancing and other styles such as…
“Fragile Nature: The Photography of Joel Sartore”
Joel Sartore has a dream job — he goes around the world to exotic, far-flung locations photographing wildlife for National Geographic. Now you can see some of his best shots in “Fragile Nature: The Photography of Joel Sartore.” Much of Sartore’s work over the last 16 years has focused on…
Sandra Organ Dance Company: Amahl and the Night Visitors
In what’s fast becoming a welcome staple on the Houston holiday performance circuit, the Sandra Organ Dance Company today pre-sents Amahl and the Night Visitors — which, it turns out, was a tradition in another time. First performed on NBC in 1951, the 45-minute opera by Gian Carlo Menotti played…
Orange Show Christmas Lights EyeOpener Tour
Think you’ve seen Christmas in Houston? Well, you haven’t seen anything until you take the Orange Show Christmas Lights EyeOpener Tour. Sure, the annual tour includes a drive through the Heights to see all those light-drenched, decorated historic homes, which anyone can see. But only the EyeOpener Tour includes a…
Labyrinth
The 1986 film Labyrinth marked the end of an era in fantasy/sci-fi films; it was the last big-name movie made before computer animation became the FX standard. An MTV-obsessed, teenage girl’s reverie, the film sported a dream team productionwise with Monty Python’s Terry Jones as scriptwriter, George Lucas as producer,…
Mercury Baroque’s Messiah
It’s been a few years since Houston’s favorite period ensemble, Mercury Baroque, performed Handel’s Messiah. That performance prompted music critic Charles Ward to say the piece was “performed as it was meant to be.” Well, we hope Ward doesn’t mind repeating himself, because once again Mercury Baroque is performing the…
Very Merry Pops
We’ve been hearing watered-down Christmas music blaring in drugstores, elevators and television ads since mid-August, so you may be ready to throw in the holiday towel and amp up the Radiohead as an antidote by now. But give Christmas music one last chance, at today’s Very Merry Pops. The annual…
Ornament-Making Extravaganza
Long to be crafty but find you’re all thumbs? The annual Ornament-Making Extravaganza at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston can help. Thirty tables, each with its own set of basic materials and instructions for ornament-making, will line the Brown Auditorium Theater for this DIY workshop. The ornament designs are…
Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge
Ever wonder what Mrs. Cratchit did while her husband and son went out spreading Christmas cheer and melting mean old Scrooge’s heart? Well, Christopher Durang has the answer. Durang, author of the wildly popular Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You, brings us the comedy Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild…
Bob Biggerstaff and Mike MacRae
Local comedians Bob Biggerstaff and Mike MacRae, who got their start at Houston’s Laff Stop, can now add “As Seen on TV” to their resumes. Biggerstaff was featured on Dave Attell’s recent HBO special Captain Miserable in a closing sketch. His best material is born out of his dry wit…
Cantare Houston
Since carolers don’t come door to door anymore, anyone who wants some good holiday music has to venture out to find it. Cantare Houston is bringing the sounds of Christmas to the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston with today’s concert Home. On the program are hymns and carols that celebrate…
Ward Sanders: “Rules of Order”
Primarily an artist, Ward Sanders also has a degree in biology. He exhibits his curiosity for both the artistic and the physical in “Rules of Order.” The show is a collection of old, wooden boxes that are compartmentalized to hold scientific tools and other objects. These works, as his press…
“AES+F”
It may be a bit of a stretch to say video games such as Call of Duty and Halo inspire grade-school snipers, but they do feature nonstop violence, and the armed forces use them to train and recruit soldiers. The Station’s multimedia exhibition “AES+F” considers the link between video games…
Coming Attraction: George Mitchell’s Report on Steroids in Baseball
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time is ticking away. In a matter of hours, George Mitchell’s report on steroids in baseball will be released to the greater public. He is holding a press conference at 1:00 p.m. Houston time today. Bud Selig will not be in attendance, but at about 3:30…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Annie, Christmas Tree-O, A Fertle Holiday, Sister’s Christmas Catechism, The Twelve Ways of Christmas
Annie This wonderfully tuneful throwback to ’50s Broadway hit the jackpot when it opened in 1977 and has been a moneymaking classic ever since. It’s based oh-so-loosely upon Harold Gray’s classic comic strip about the spunky orphan and her incredibly wealthy adopted Daddy Warbucks, a ruthless industrialist who’s been softened…
Danton’s Gulf Coast Seafood Kitchen
New Orleans food writer Pableaux Johnson and I ordered our first dozen oysters of the season at Danton’s, the new Gulf seafood joint on Montrose. We were tingling with anticipation as the shucker wiggled his knife. I looked over Danton’s short wine list and didn’t see anything tart enough to…
I Am Legend
here are two momentous performances in the Darwinian horror fable I Am Legend. One is by the movie’s star, Will Smith — but more about him in a minute. The other is by the movie’s visual effects — not the ones that bring to life a nocturnal army of shrieking,…
Prego
Some see lasagna as an outdated potluck dish from the ’70s. But at Prego (2520 Amherst, 713-529-2420), the lasagna ($8) reaches new heights. Layers of homemade pasta, which hold their bite and don’t go mushy on you, are cut into five-inch rectangular pieces and layered generously with mini veal balls,…
The Bourne Ultimatum, December Boys, Interview, Undead or Alive
The Bourne Ultimatum (Universal) The final installment in the Bourne-again trilogy is the one in which the CIA assassin’s true identity is revealed. It’s the origin story in reverse — how brilliant. But solving the mystery (and misery, as Jason Bourne’s among the most tormented action heroes of all time)…
Kid Care, Carol Porter, Wayne Dolcefino, Weighing Marijuana and Stopping on Red
Remember a few years ago, when the headlines were ablaze with stories about the scandalous doings at the prominent charity Kid Care? KTRK’s Wayne Dolcefino had a series of exposés, as only Wayne can, highlighting financial shenanigans allegedly done by Kid Care founder Carol Porter and her husband Hurt. Carol…
Local Motion
Sig’s Lagoon 3710 Main, 713-533-9525 1. Jesse Dayton & Brennen Leigh, Holdin’ Our Own 2. Os Mutantes, Live at Barbican 2006 3. Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Quantum Fucking 4. Various Artists, Goin’ Home: A Tribute to Fats Domino 5. Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, 100 Days, 100 Nights 6. Culturcide, Year…
The TSU Toronadoes
“Skipper Lee, tell us your story. When did you come to Houston and why? This is my story. Last night as I tried to sleep, it seemed I could hear voices. These voices kept telling me, ‘Skipper Lee, steal away and carry a mountain of soul to Houston.’ Over and…
Somerville, Smoking and Chicken Fried Porn
Something about Somerville What a shame: I look forward to getting the Houston Press every week and one of the main reasons is investigative articles like this one [“Toxic Town,” by Todd Spivak, December 6]. I grew up in a small town not far from Somerville. I spent summers home from…
The Walker
Paul Schrader’s cinema is largely defined by the pathology of his male protagonists, and with The Walker, he’s added a striking new character to his gallery of loners. Carter Page III (Woody Harrelson) is the degenerate scion of a political family. Openly gay and eminently presentable, this American aristo makes…
Dizzy Pilot: Shit Out the Bones
Houston’s Dizzy Pilot spends a good deal of their time basically sounding as though they emerged from a time capsule that went underground in summer 1991, and that’s meant as a compliment. New EP Shit Out the Bones opens with “Granny Clampet’s Pure Grain Know-It-All,” a pre-grunge assault injected with…
Rock Band
At a Guitar Hero tournament a few months back, one kid complained to me that Expert Mode is “too easy.” Then he demonstrated the game’s secret Hyper Speed mode. My pupils nearly ruptured at the sight of him as he navigated the light-speed stream of colored notes; it looked like…
No Mexicans in Detroit? What about Fairies?
Dear Mexican, I’m sad that there aren’t more Mexicans here in the Detroit area. We’re one of the few areas in the country that is predominantly Catholic. We’ve welcomed wave after wave of Catholic immigrants for well over a hundred years, and they’ve intermingled and blended into our local society…
Texas Garage Rock
The garage revolution of the ’60s was arguably the first time in pop-music history that the idea of musical DIYism reared its subversive little head. Every kid on the block was grabbing a cheap Strat knockoff and pummeling it with his buddies, and some of them made some amazing music…
Big Smith
Get over the Deliverance bib overalls and the Ozark ax-killer faces. The five guys in Springfield, Missouri, outfit Big Smith have long cultivated the Ozark hillbilly look, and further it with a tear-ass musical style that puts them in the company of groups like the Gourds and Avett Brothers. They…
No Show: EMC Expos
Houston artist Joyce Dwight was looking forward to the Big Texas Home & Family Expo. Scheduled for September at the George R. Brown Convention Center, the expo would give Dwight the chance to showcase her glass works to a huge crowd. She hoped it would boost visibility for her business, Fusion…
Punx-Mas Fest 3
This is hardly news, but it bears repeating every so often: Houston’s punk, indie and noise communities, accustomed to being ignored or spurned outright by the more staid elements of the local music scene, have long cultivated an underground network of venues — mostly private residences and warehouses — that…
From Discreet to Discrimination
DJ Jason Hilbert hates kids. Well, not entirely. “I hate playing for kids,” says the 35-year-old DJ, who instantly became cooler when he revealed he spins sans some lame DJ name like “Hands of Gold” or “Mixalicious.” Perhaps that’s why he’s so satisfied with his job spinning a house-based fusion…
Femme Fatality
Femme Fatality’s sound may veer toward electroclash, but they’re from St. Louis, and things get to the Midwest late, so leave them alone, all right? Actually, the group has been popular in the Lou for years — think of them, perhaps, as Boston’s Dresden Dolls on crystal meth — and…
Toadies, Lions
As evidenced by the reissue treatment given to the Foo Fighters’ The Colour and the Shape and Dave Grohl’s current reign atop Clear Channel playlists, not much has really changed for mainstream alternative music in the last decade. One case in point is the reunion of the Toadies, who haven’t…
Black Leather Jesus
The leather-harness-clad teddy bears gracing Black Leather Jesus’s MySpace page are a bit intimidating. In fact, BLJ scares me a little bit, not that I’d expect any band fronted by the mastermind of such similarly confrontational outfits as Anal Drill and Priest in Shit to be warm and cuddly. Grinding,…
Robert Plant and Alison Krauss: Raising Sand
On the surface, the imagination boggles when confronted with a musical collaboration between two such seemingly polar opposite talents as Americana/bluegrass goddess Alison Krauss and shouting, yowling Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant. But under producer/bassist T-Bone Burnett’s direction, there’s no superstardom at play here, just a cadre of singularly talented…
Alicia Keys: As I Am
Unlike most singers cast in the diva role, who are all about pipes and persona, Alicia Keys is a multifaceted artist adept at songwriting and arranging as well as vocal emoting. For that reason, she’s among the current performers least in need of help from studio pros — yet the…
Duran Duran: Red Carpet Massacre
Sorry, ’80s nostalgists, but Duran Duran was never a great band, or even a particularly good one. The boys from Birmingham gained fame as sleek, sleazy showmen with a strong visual sense and the ability to transform other people’s ideas into garish pop ready-mades. “Girls on Film,” “Hungry Like the…
Babyshambles: Shotter’s Nation
In his spare time, when he’s not dodging jail sentences or fighting with his supermodel girlfriends, habitual drug abuser Pete Doherty makes music. But he really hasn’t recorded anything worth listening to since the Libertines completed their second album three years ago — right around the time Doherty’s life fell…
Coal Miser A Christmas Carol
Among the charms of December in Houston is the Alley Theatre’s annual production of A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens’s amusing, sweet tale about an old man who finds his heart one cold Christmas Eve. This year’s Carol, directed by James Black, is based on the version adapted and originally directed…
Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week:
Beverly Hills 90210: The Third Season (Paramount) Big Love: The Complete Second Season (HBO) Born Killers (Lionsgate) The Boston Red Sox 2007 World Series Collector’s Edition (A&E) The Conscientious Objector (Cinequest) Dave Attell: Captain Miserable (HBO) Dirt: The Complete First Season (Buena Vista) Flight 29 Down: Volume Three (Discovery Kids)…
Bow Wow
A pint-sized novelty act who made preteen girls swoon with his 2000 debut Beware of Dog, Bow Wow has somehow evolved into a hip-pop elder statesman. Now 20, he has split with longtime producer Jermaine Dupri, and his sixth CD, Face Off, a collaboration with B2K’s Omarion, was released Tuesday…
2007 Music Year in Review
The holidays are a time of family, schmaltzy Christmas commercials that somehow make you cry and, for music journalists, list-making. Lots and lots of list-making. Over the past few years, the availability of year-end critics’ lists has multiplied faster than the worry lines on Ben Bernanke’s brow. Mark our words,…
Capsule Art Reviews: “The Buffalo Hunters,” “Contemporary Conversations: Robert Ryman, 1976,” “Devendra Banhart: Some Drawings,” “Ryan Geiger: Secret Garden”
“The Buffalo Hunters” Eric Michael Jones should be applauded for thinking big. His digital photos, some printed as large as five feet tall, uphold my general thinking concerning photography exhibits: the bigger the better. Digital photography, though, presents issues. As much as Jones earns points for going extra large, he…
In Defense of The Genre
In Defense of The Genre, emo torchbearers Say Anything’s 27-song, two-disc quasi-concept album, is twice as long and nowhere near as good as its predecessor, 2004’s Is a Real Boy. This time out, frontman Max Bemis’s muses are his struggles with drug abuse and his very public bipolarity. (He was…
Bayousphere
Spidey Sense tingling…Spidey Sense tingling…Oh, it’s that guy who’s about to land square on my chest. I guess I’ll just sit here and wait for it. (And protect my crotch.) The world’s laziest Spiderman gets ready for Steve “Bones” Monckton at a Texas All-Star Wrestling event at a not-quite jam-packed…
R.I.P. Pimp C
I came late to the UGK party. I was out of the country for much of their rise from 1992-1995, and then I lived in Nashville, where their legend had not yet spread, until the end of 1997. Even after moving back to Houston, it took me a few years…