Houston Music Fight Club: Chris Wise vs. Cody Swann, Chris Ryan vs. Frank Beard, Washington Avenue vs. Westheimer
So this past week, Houston Music Fight Club began getting solicitations from various local musicians to be matched against other strummers and pickers around town in their cage matches. Rocks Off looks around. We see a lot of new faces. This means a lot of you have (happily for us)…
Got A Book Loan From UH? You’re Buying From Barnes & Noble
The University of Houston started this semester requiring students on its book-loan program to purchase text books exclusively from the UH campus bookstore, managed by Barnes & Noble. The College Store, an off-campus bookstore, wasn’t too happy about the decision.We figured that the university made this move to save students…
Just-Off-the-Griddle Tortillas at Laredo Taqueria
In this week’s Café review, we visit Laredo Taqueria on Cavalcade, where breakfast is a wondrous experience. When you get in line to order your breakfast tacos, you find yourself standing in front of the griddle where the flour tortillas are being prepared. If you watch carefully, you will see…
Paolo Nutini, Moby, Pink, Lady GaGa and Other Artists Manlier Than John Mayer
We don’t always hate John Mayer. No, really. Sometimes dude seems downright likable, like when he’s hanging out in the Comedy Cellar in NYC, or releasing self-effacing web videos, or popping up for cavalier, amusing chats with our XM favorites Ron & Fez. Even his Twitter account is worth reading…
On Being Watched in Burma
I remember his nose. Thick gray hair spouted from each nostril, all the way down to the old monk’s lip, like smoke from the snout of a dragon. He sat on some steps inside the gold and glittering Sule Pagoda in central Rangoon. The monk was bald and missing teeth,…
Lobbyists Can Now Register With Harris County, If They Feel Like It
Lobbyists who do business with the county government can now register online with County Clerk Beverly Kaufman.The operative word there is “can.”Registration began yesterday afternoon, and so far the number of registered lobbyists is…zero. At least as far as we can tell by searching the website.Hector DeLeon, a spokesman for…
Bayou Beat: Come Play Beatles Rock Band With Rocks Off, Watch Us On TV, Zeppelin Lounge Goes Bye-Bye, Black Crowes Admit “Houston Don’t Dream About Me,” etc.
Rocks Off has managed to secure a copy of Beatles Rock Band, and because we’re not selfish at all, we’re inviting everyone to come play along with us at 7 p.m. next Wednesday at Coffee Groundz, 2503 Bagby. Pit your button-mashing skills against Rocks Off’s house band, enjoy Beatles-themed drinks…
New Chef at The Tasting Room at Uptown Park
In a city overflowing with wine bars, The Tasting Room at Uptown Park has distinguished itself with an elegant and comfortable interior design, a large and diverse selection of wine, and a friendly staff to help you find the perfect glass or bottle of wine. But what most distinguishes it…
Vote Delayed, Entertainingly, On BARC Chief’s Contract
City Council once again delayed the vote on extending BARC Interim Chief Gerry Fusco’s contract today, possibly killing any chance to revive the vote in the future. Fusco’s initial agreement with the city, made possible via a $49,500 purchase order, expires Friday.Health and Human Services spokeswoman Kathy Barton, who was…
A Wonderful New Pollution-Free Coal Plant In Fort Bend!! Well, Maybe
NRG Energy, a redundantly named company in New Jersey, has announced plans to build a wonderful new space-age “carbon-capture” system at their coal plant in Fort Bend County.Well, they’ve announced plans to ask the federal government to pay for half the project, anyway.The carbon-capture system reduces pollution tremendously, theoretically. And…
Are You a Washington Avenue Douchebag? Read This and Find Out
In the past weeks since word sprung forth that Walter’s On Washington would be moving, in no small part due to the influx of upper-crust cats looking for love in all the right places at Washington Avenue’s nouveau-trendy bars, the word “douchebag” has made a big resurgence. The blogs and…
Photos from Laredo Taqueria
The Laredo Taqueria location on Cavalcade is the subject of this week’s Café review. Here are some photos of our last breakfast outing there. These four tacos are stuffed with calabacitas con puerco, huevos con chorizo, huevos con nopales and barbacoa. They cost $2 each…
TxDOT (Kinda) Confirms That Houston Is Home To Traffic Masochists
The Texas Department of Transportation has put out a list of the 100 Most Congested Roads in Texas, and boy — do we suck.Almost 40 percent of the little pieces of traffic hell TxDOT listed are right here, in Harris or Fort Bend counties.The usual suspects make the top (Six…
Artist of the Week: Strictly for the Ladies, TILL Will Break You Off
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com. Gentlemen, you’re free to just skip right on…
The Davenport’s Pistolera
Saturday was one of those drinking marathons that cause me to wake up the next day and ask myself questions like, “How old am I, again?,” “Why is my wallet in the toilet?” and “How did I break my pants?” Anything worth doing is worth doing to irresponsible excess, right?…
Trying To Connect With Houston’s Burmese Community, Via John Glenn
I threw a football at a refugee and demanded to know where she lived.Her voice wavered, and her answer was hard to hear. So I leaned over and cupped my hand to my ear, waving the hand in a circle first, like Hulk Hogan trying to rile a crowd. Apartment…
Aftermath: Collective Soul and Black Stone Cherry at House of Blues
Something strange happened during the ’90s. Southern Rock as we once knew it all but disappeared. Charmed by grunge, drowned in amplification, bands began shedding the elements of blues and country that threaded that noble line from Lynyrd Skynyrd through the Georgia Satellites and the Black Crowes. Just as importantly,…
Cougars’ Run For The Title Begins Saturday
The start of meaningful football games is finally here, and Saturday night at 6 p.m., the Houston Cougars start their quest to win the Conference USA Title when they take on the Northwestern State Demons of the Southland Conference at Robertson Stadium. The Cougars are starting their second season under…
Gubernatorial Candidate Kinky Friedman: My Dog Could Run This State As Well As Rick Perry
“Going from musician to politician is definitely a step down,” says Kinky Friedman, who announced his Texas gubernatorial candidacy Tuesday morning. “But I’ll take it for Texas.” Of course, it’s a step that Friedman, author of songs such as “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Any More” and “The Ballad…
A Cafe Bites Nibble
Tom Schwab and Tom Brown built Vintage 46 Wine Bar (2418 Sunset, 713-524-6318) themselves. “We basically wanted to find a place to put our 401k,” says Brown. “We were looking for something that we wouldn’t have to work too hard at. Boy, were we wrong. We’re working harder than ever…
Gubernatorial Candidate Kinky Friedman: My Dog Could Run This State As Well As Rick Perry
“Going from musician to politician is definitely a step down,” says Kinky Friedman, who announced his Texas gubernatorial candidacy Tuesday morning. “But I’ll take it for Texas.” Of course, it’s a step that Friedman, author of songs such as “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Any More” and “The Ballad…
“La La La — I Was On Drugs”: Hair Balls’s Seven Favorite Memories Of The Houston Zoo
We recently stumbled on this video made by the Houston Zoo, wherein people recall their favorite memories of the place. With the long Labor Day Weekend coming up, Hair Balls has a few memories of its own…..
Oklahoma Football Gets A Houston Radio Outlet; Aggies Still Out Of Luck
As you’ll remember from our post on 1560 The Game a few weeks ago, it was mentioned that the station was in negotiations with a Big 12 Conference school to air its football games this season. Now there was some speculation (and hope) in the comments that this team would…
Sikh Woman Who Wanted To Wear Ceremonial Dagger To Her IRS Job Suffers Setback
A Sikh woman — one of the members of the family that was harassed by Harris County Sheriff’s deputies late last year — had her claims that she should be able to wear a ceremonial dagger to her IRS job rejected by a federal judge.The Examiner website reports that U.S…
W Burger
The burger at the W Grill has a lot going for it. The half-pound Angus beef patty is nicely grilled and fairly juicy. There’s a choice of white or whole wheat buns. The whole wheat bun I tried was dense and moist, though not very well toasted. There is nothing…
Jesse Dayton – Sorry, “Captain Clegg” – on Rob Zombie and His Role In Halloween II
Jesse Dayton’s star just keeps rising. You have to give the former Beaumont lad credit, he works at it steadily, and these days has his finger in writing, performing, producing, and acting as well as operating a label. As anyone who checks Facebook knows, Dayton posts something about every twenty…
70 Years After A Nazi Invasion, Poland Gets Respect: The Five Best Movie Poles
On September 1, 1939, German forces invaded Poland. Soviet troops joined the attack (in adherence to the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact) on September 16, and by the first of October, the country was entirely in enemy hands, and World War II was well underway.Poland and its people have had enough problems, what…
What Was And Wasn’t In The Candidate Biographies Of that Latest Mayor’s-Race Poll
As we noted yesterday, most Houstonians have no idea who they want for their next mayor. A poll shows more than two-thirds don’t favor any of the candidates, partly as a result of financially crimped campaigns that haven’t been able to advertise much yet.Houstonians who were called for the poll…
No Reservations: Burning Questions
Anthony Bourdain is a celebrity. As such, America wants to know: What brand of jeans does he wear? What does he order at Starbucks (the Uzbek version)? On this week’s episode of No Reservations, viewers got to submit questions online and Tony answered ten of them with some old clips,…
This Town Needs an Enema: Rocks Off Movie Night at the Mink with Batman
This week’s film selection for Rocks Off Movie Nite at the Mink – that’s right, we’re now officially co-sponsoring this thing – is Tim Burton’s 1989 reboot of Batman, starring the third-coolest man to step into the cowl and cape – “Mr. Mom” himself, Michael Keaton. Sorry, Val Kilmer and…
This Just In: BARC No Longer Part Of The Health & Human Services Department
The Bureau of Animal Regulation and Control will be removed from the Health and Human Services Department, according to Frank Michel, the Mayor’s communications director.”We will be working to remove BARC from the Health Department over the next couple of weeks,” Michel told Hair Balls in an e-mail. “The continuing…
Names In the News Ask Collective Soul’s 7even Year Itch: Collective Soul’s Greatest Hits 1994-2001
Rocks Off enjoys reading The New York Times on Sundays. It’s one of the few things in our topsy-turvy lives we can count on. However, several stories in this past Sunday’s paper gave us serious cause for concern. The best way to help these people, we figured, was to take…
Houston Leads The Nation In Young-Teen Moms: A Good Thing?
People are up in arms (Are people ever “down on arms”?) about a new report that shows Houston leads the nation in teen births, at least among women aged 15 or less.Abstinence-only ain’t working, we need more abstinence-only, yadda yadda yadda.Sure, having a baby when you’re 15 isn’t the best…
Eggs Blindfolded
Poaching eggs is a pain, and I don’t like the vinegar flavor that usually comes with them. So I started using a technique that I first heard about at the Nighthawk restaurant when I was in college. They didn’t serve poached eggs at the Nighthawk. If you asked, the waitress…
Ask A Rapper: Grammy-Winning Electro-Songbird T-Pain
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted…
If Who’s On First, What’s On Second: A Post-Ike Diary Documenting One Family’s Attempt To Get Past First Base With The Houston Housing Authority
Ike’s anniversary is coming up, an event which will be well-covered locally. We’re doing out part with the September 10 issue; until then we’ll be posting some Ike-related items to whet the appetite.In the 1950s the famous comedy team of Abbott and Costello developed what is probably their most popular…
Six More Mysterious Musical Deaths We’d Like to See Reopened
Original Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones was found dead at the bottom of his swimming pool 40 years ago. It was declared “death by misadventure,” a cause of death that probably didn’t come as a shock to those who had been aware of Jones’ steady descent into drug addiction over…
Some (Few) Good Things Emerge From Texans’ Monday-Night Loss
It’s never truly Texans season until there’s the first Matt Schaub injury scare. This year, it came before the season even started — when the Texans’ QB ran out of bounds and turned his left ankle in Monday night’s 17-10 preseason loss to the Vikings.But Schaub recovered, and so did…
You Can’t Handle the Heat: The 19th Annual Austin Hot Sauce Festival
There was a point, roughly around the 84th salsa that I’d consumed, when I was absolutely certain that I was about to see the face of God. If I were a Simpsons character, this would have been when I’d just coated the inside of my mouth with candle wax and…
Distant Early Warning: Aggrolites, Frankie Valli, the Krayolas, Peaches, “Rockers vs. Mods,” etc.
The Aggrolites: Wed., Oct. 14. Meridian. Asher Roth: Thu., Sept. 24. Rich’s Houston. Aventura: Fri., Dec. 4. Toyota Center. Bastard Sons Of Johnny Cash: LOUNGE STAGE., Thu., Oct. 1. Fitzgerald’s. Buxton: Thu., Oct. 1. Continental Club. Captured! By Robots: Wed., Nov. 18. Super Happy Fun Land. Charles P. & The…
Shocking News — Miguel Tejada May Be Lying Again
Everybody mocked Rafael Palmerio back in 2005 when, after testing positive for steroids, he blamed the test on a B-12 shot he received from Miguel Tejada. Palmerio is still mocked. And he is still called a cheater who helped to bring shame on the game of baseball. But as time…
Where Are We Eating?
You can almost smell the Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Protect The Texas Fawnsfoot And Pimpleback, Even If They’re Not Cute
A couple of months ago we brought you the sad tale of the dwindling jaguarundi, and how an environmental group was suing the U.S. Department of the Interior demanding that the agency create a conservation and survival plan for the endangered cat from South Texas. Now that same environmental group…
True Blood, Episode 10: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “Frenzy” and a Naked Crazy Town In Peril
Alan Ball was known for his masterful use of music in Six Feet Under. He’s lost none of his touch when it comes to his current HBO series, There’s only one episode left in the second season of True Blood, which means that very little of any import happened Sunday…
Attention Hipsters: Where the Wild Things Are Coming to Theaters Near You
Okay, skinny-jeans-wearing early twentysomethings with dirty hair, get ready to stand in line at the movie theater and reminisce about your youth (a.k.a. last year) because the film version of Where the Wild Things Are is due out in theaters in mid-October. OMFG!Apparently this movie is an event worthy of…
Former BARC Vet Sues City Over His Firing
Veterinarian Gil Costas, fired from the Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care last February for an alleged registration violation, has sued the City under the Texas Whistleblower Act.Filed today, the suit accuses the city of “trying to hurriedly squelch Dr. Costas and discredit him” after Costas accused fellow BARC vet David Rundell of…
MP3 of the Day: Last Chance to See the Tontons Until God Knows When – And It’s Free
Just a quick reminder that tonight is your last chance to see everybody’s favorite Houston indie-rock/psych/jazz/blues/surf/spaghetti-Western quartet, the Tontons, who are going on hiatus until January. Unless you want to talk singer Asli Omar out of going to school in New York, that is, but that’s probably not going to…
Dapple Dandy Pluots
I have been buying a lot of the apricot-plum crossbreeds known as pluots, plumcots and apriums lately. Some agricultural experts are calling these the sweetest, juiciest, most flavorful tree fruits ever invented. Marketing experts predict that this is the product that will finally get Americans interested in upscale fruit. In…
Houston: You Have No Idea Who You Want As Your Next Mayor
A little more than two months remain before Election Day, and fully two-thirds of voters have no idea who they’ll end up supporting, according to the first major poll on the race.KHOU and KUHF’s poll, done by Rice’s Bob Stein, fully backs up the feeling that the 2009 race has…
Lonesome Onry and Mean: Other Uses for Best In Texas Besides, You Know, Reading It
Lonesome Onry and Mean recently stopped wasting good notebook paper writing drafts of articles about Best in Texas Music Magazine. We were perusing the current issue and thinking about how bad it is when it suddenly dawned on us: the environmentally pure thing would be to write a column about…
Bragging Rights Retained: Houston Keeps Its Status As A Top-Ten TV Market
Those of you who toil in the world of local TV can rest easy — you’re still in a Top Ten market.It’s an important piece of braggadocio to throw around, so people like to keep their eye on Neilsen’s annual rankings of television markets.It came out today, and shows Houston…
More Junk from Whole Foods
“We sell a bunch of junk,” Whole Foods founder John Mackey told the Wall Street Journal when he announced the new focus on health foods that’s supposed to be taking place at Whole Foods this fall. Mackey hopes to stop the decline in the sales of beans, nuts and whole…
Pink Floyd, Dr. Dre, Velvet Underground and Other Artists We’re Glad Discovered Drugs
It was 45 years ago this past Friday… that Bob Dylan met the Beatles for the first time and, more importantly for Rocks Off’s purposes, introduced them to marijuana. While this meeting of musical titans would never lead to any actual musical collaboration or “Monsters of Hippie Rock” series of…
“Snow Leopard,” Steve? Couldn’t You Do Better?
Dear Steve Jobs,Ugh. You really think you’re so damn cute, don’t you? Panther, Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard? Seriously, what’s the deal with naming your operating system releases after big pussies? Like society has some sort of obsession with cats or something. Pffft. Yeah, Steve, that’s the sound that society makes when society is deeply offended by your…
Tonight: The Entrance Band’s Willfully Lysergic or Unabashedly Amorous Hash-Slinging
There’s some confusion, understandably, about exactly what Chicago’s Entrance Band purports to be. Are they good-time classic-rawk hash slingers? Psychedelic adventurers? Protest-rock revivalists? The endpoint where bassist/violinist’s Paz Lenchantin – she’s done time with Zwan, Pajo and A Perfect Circle, among scads of other projects – finally quells her nomadic impulses?…
Our WTF Crime Story Of The Day: Paris Hilton & Child Porn
Anyone who likes child porn has obviously got mental problems, but usually they’re not completely idiotic — after all, they have to find a way to indulge their sickness without being caught by the feds.And then there’s 22-year-old Josiah Samuel Stevens on Conroe.He just got five years in prison for…
Texas Traveler: Oktoberfests
The Texas Hill Country is full of place-names that make Texas Traveler yearn for her nth-generation German heritage. New Braunfels conjures up the scent of the bratwurst and sauerkraut my Moomaw used to make on weekend mornings (food which I loathed, by the way, until I turned about 25 years…
Anvil’s 100 List: Cocktails To Try Before You Die
Although only one page long, the list is daunting. Satan’s Whiskers, Monkey Gland, Blood & Sand, Corpse Reviver #2, Death in the Afternoon, Widow’s Kiss, El Diablo: one could almost mistake the cocktail names for santería ingredients. And the sheer breadth of the different cocktails is mesmerizing; some with egg,…
Turning the Screw: New Trae and G.R.I.T. Boys, R.I.P. DJ AM, Kings of Leon Remixed, Jay Z vs. Rush Limbaugh, Uncut Pimp C, etc.
Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off’s weekly rap post. It probably won’t rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: Trae, “Letter to tha King” Wire To Wire The G.R.I.T. Boys finally put out some new music. Make sure…
Yep, Speculators Caused Last Year’s Oil-Price Spike, Rice Says
A couple of researchers at Rice University’s Baker Institute for Public Policy have released a study that gets close to proving that speculators caused oil prices to shoot up in 2008. This theory is nothing new, but the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, the agency that regulates U.S. futures markets, is…
Grand Jury No-Bills San Antonio Trio Girl In A Coma In Spring Chances Brawl
[Update: See the statement Girl In a Coma posted on its MySpace page Monday morning after the jump.] The San Antonio punk band Girl in a Coma, whose members were arrested after an altercation at Chances in Montrose this spring, have been no-billed by a grand jury and will face…
Girl In A Coma, No-Billed By A Grand Jury
The San Antonio punk band Girl in a Coma, whose members were arrested after an altercation at Chances in Montrose this spring, have been no-billed by a grand jury and will face no charges from the incident, their lawyer tells Hair Balls.Kent Schaffer says two of the members appeared before…
Late Night Scene: Late Nite Pie
Timing is crucial for the late-night food lover: No one wants to be the first at an after-hours party, but waiting in line is a guaranteed buzzkill. Time it just right and you can leave the bar, stroll into Late Nite Pie — positioned perfectly in Midtown — and order…
ManKind Project Decides To Get Transparent
After years of stewing in a mix of controversy and mystery, The ManKind Project is finally going to give the world an official glimpse into its secret world of male rites, rituals and so-called “training” programs.At least according to an MKP memo obtained by Warren Throckmorton, Associate Professor of Psychology…
Aftermath: Depeche Mode’s Black and Blue Celebration at The Woodlands
Far, far away from the group once known for bubbly synth-pop anthems like “Just Can’t Get Enough” and “Everything Counts,” Depeche Mode circa 2009 has pressed its small army of keyboards and electronics into the service of primal urges and raw sexuality. Not terribly surprising from a band that once…
Dear Sir: Your Criticism Of The Texans Proves You Are A Male Homosexual
Our cover story this week is on the Houston Texans, and their seemingly unquenchable urge to toy with the hearts of local football fans. Alas, we could not bring ourselves to feel optimistic about the coming season, and presented a history of the team to demonstrate why. Instead, according to…
Get It Straight, New York Times: Is Washington Avenue “Seedy” Or “Stylish”?
The arts folks at The New York Times, a paper published north of here, have jumped on the story of the alleged Salvador Dali paintings being sold at a Salvation Army store here.They write: HOUSTON — In a scene that would most likely appeal to the Spanish Surrealist Salvador Dalí,…
Snackshot: Summer Squash
Today’s sweet Snackshot comes to us courtesy of viva_victoria and the Discovery Green Farmer’s Market: From the photographer’s description: “Squashes and Melons and Puppies Oh My! Puppy checks out the farmers’ market display, pondering an attack.”…
Morning Metal: Celtic Frost, “Circle of Tyrants”
Wake the hell up! It’s Monday! You’ve got shit to do, don’t you? Only four more days until Labor Day weekend, and another endless ice chest of Lone Star. Here’s some Celtic Frost up your lazy ass, from 1985’s To Mega Therion release…
25 Reasons You Can’t Talk Enough About Brett Favre Tonight
It’s always nice when the local pro sports squad gets national TV attention. Tonight, for instance, the Houston Texans are taking on the Minnesota Vikings on ESPN’s Monday Night Football. Sure, the game doesn’t really count for anything, but it’s nice to get a little attention.So I’ve done a little…
Art Rock: L.A. Riots at Escobar
[Note: email shinarae@gmail.com to get on the guest list, or mention you saw this flyer on Rocks Off for a discount on the door price.]…
No Touchdown In Today’s HISD Board of Trustees Vote
Parents applauded this morning after the HISD Board of Trustees was finally able to vote on a $96 million upgrade for seven schools. Board President Larry Marshall, who sets the board’s agenda, had for weeks not included the item on the agenda, despite the fact that former superintendent Abe Saavedra promised…
Score One for the Socialists: Their Very Own Mayoral Candidate
Mayoral candidate Amanda Ulman Photo by Craig Malisow Noting the stunning absence of Socialist Workers Party candidates in Houston’s mayoral race, Amanda Ulman has decided to throw her hat (no doubt crafted by union haberdashers earning union wages) into the ring. Ulman filed her candidacy for the November 4 elections Wednesday, before…
He Said, She Said: Get Your Ass In Shape Workout Songs
Unlike our male counterpart, we aren’t seeking to purge our inner demons when we work out (and some of us – shudder – purge something else before working out anyway). Instead, we’re looking for something fun, upbeat and beat-heavy. Something that makes you want to shake your ass while you’re whittling…
Houston’s Top 5 Macaroons
The macaroon is a sort of existentially confused food. In France, a macaroon is a colorful cookie sandwich. In the U.S., we generally think of coconut macaroons first, but they are often made with nuts as well. Rumor (or Wikipedia) has it that in Australia, macaroons often have a jam…
The 7 Most Obnoxious Twitter Users
Twitter is faced with a looming problem these days. As it grows in popularity (and in users), Twitter backlash has grown alongside it. Non-Twitter users don’t understand the social opportunities associated with using Twitter and how Twitterers can quickly become part of networks that were never previously available to them (or that…
He Said She Said: Hot, Sweaty, Angry Workout Songs
When it comes to exercise, men and women don’t have many different reasons for doing it. Mainly, both genders want to look better naked if perchance they find themselves without clothes on around a stranger they want to sleep with. Life expectancy, general health, and mental well-being are all secondary…
10 Slightly Better Reasons to Saw the Head Off a Child-Friendly Deer
In November of last year, the remains of a tame deer named Mr. Buck were found in Bear Creek Park – minus the head. After receiving an anonymous tip, police found Mr. Buck’s head in the home freezer of one Brandon Eugene Gregory, which just goes to show: people just…
Lone Star Scorecard: “God Blessed Texas,” “Dracula From Houston” and “The Wasp (Texas Radio and the Big Beat)”
You know the drill: every week we sift through several thousand songs (mostly) extolling the virtues of the Great State of Texas to bring you three that still manage to screw it up. And whether written by native sons or godless Yankee heathens, mistakes abound. Little Texas, “God Blessed Texas”:…
Dickens on the Strand Returns To Full Strength This Year
Last year, after the all-round drenching and destruction that the Strand Historic Landmark District in Galveston took on in Hurricane Ike, the annual presentation of the Dickens on the Strand was a shadow of its former self. Three months wasn’t nearly enough time to recover from all the wind and…
Upcoming Events
The next Miracle Berry Party is at the newly-opened Ei8ht on Washington Avenue, on Wednesday, September 2, starting at 6 p.m. In addition to a buffet of strongly-flavored foods to try after eating the miracle berry, Tito’s Vodka will also be sponsoring a “mad mixologist vodka bar” for guests to…
Walter’s on Washington Owner Pam Robinson: “It’s Moving, Not Closing”
All of you who think last night/today’s news that Walter’s on Washington will close at the end of October is another nail in the coffin of Houston’s indie scene can relax. Rocks Off reached owner Pam Robinson around 12:30 p.m., and she said the club will open at it’s new…
NO SHORT/OLD CHICKS! America’s Next Top Model Hits Town September 12
On September 12, the casting team of the CW’s America’s Next Top Model will be hitting H-Town to destroy the fragile self-images psyches of women all over the area. The makers of the hit modeling show are having an open casting call for would-be Marissa Miller’s and Naomi Campbell’s from…
Twitter Ticker: Houston Reacts To Walter’s On Washington Closing
Rocks Off still waiting for some phone calls regarding the “hows” and “whys” behind Walter’s close, and y’all will be the first to know when we have ’em. All we know for sure is that people are pretty pissed off, if Twitter chatter is any indication. Here are some tweets…
The Worst Brisket I Ever Ate
Sampling the goods at shade-tree barbecue stands is one of my favorite pursuits. So when I saw a smoking barbecue trailer with a crowd around it in a parking lot on Fry Road just north of the Katy Freeway last Saturday, I pulled over and checked it out. The sign…
Open House: En Garde at the Alley Theatre This Sunday
All you people out there who’ve spent years fencing with empty paper towel rolls and plastic swords, this is your chance to pick up techniques and strategies from the real players — actors who fence on stage at the Alley Theatre. Actor Brian Byrnes — who has employed his love…
Walter’s on Washington Closing In October; Club May Relocate
Rocks Off learned this morning that Walter’s on Washington, one of Houston’s primary venues for local bands, indie-rock, hardcore and touring acts not yet on the radar of Warehouse Live and House of Blues, will close at the end of October. The building has reportedly been sold and, we hear,…
Cutout Bin: Album Cover Wars!
The Party Boys, The Party Boys Epic (UK), 1987 Big hair /mustache combo: -1 Paisley vest: -1 Balding/long hair combo: -3 Mullet n’ bolo tie combo: -3 Reeboks (-2 per shoe x 4) = -8 Eko guitar: +2 Thumbs up (-3 per thumb x 2) = -6 From England: -3…
CEP Critic Can’t Get The Suit Against Him Dismissed
Robert Kimball, the former Houston ISD educator, who has spoken long, loudly — and not positively — about the two alternative schools operated in Houston by the for-profit Community Education Partners (where HISD parks its kids it deems bad), had every hope that Tuesday would see an end to the $4.7…
MP3 of the Day: “Omaha ICU,” Inspired By Our Own Lonesome Onry and Mean
Baltimore country songwriter and performer Arty Hill has found Rocks Off to not only be food for thought, but food for songwriting. Readers might recall his previous song “Texas Ganja Man” which was inspired by one of LOM’s comments on a blog about Bob Marley. Well, Hill, who has written…
More Cock, Darling?
When I first saw Grace’s Cock Soup on the shelf at H-E-B, I figured it was another one of those “Jamaican Love Foods.” While I was writing my first cookbook, Traveling Jamaica with Knife, Fork & Spoon, with chef Jay McCarthy, we dutifully recorded and tested recipes for several of…
Houston: It’s Worth Hurricane Ike
Photos by Katharine Shilcutt HIWI: Ike, the exhibition at the Galveston Arts CenterNearly five years ago, Houston became home to one of the most unusual and subversive tourism campaigns in recent memory. The Houston: It’s Worth It (HIWI) campaign began with a simple website and a list of twenty things that…
The H-Town Countdown, No. 22: Big Hawk’s H.A.W.K.
Roughly 84,000 rap albums have been released in Houston since 1989. We’re counting down the 25 best of all time every Thursday. Got a problem with the list? Shove it. Just kidding. Friendship. Email it to sheaserrano@gmail.com. For all of the talent and charm and natural charisma that Hawk brought…
Season Tickets for Monster Jam? Really?
Somehow or another, I ended up on a Reliant Park event email list. And whenever there’s some kind of event for which tickets are available, I get an email. I generally ignore these emails, but I got one the other day that grabbed my attention. It told me that there…
Arrest Made In That Infamous Baytown Arby’s Prank
Baytown police have filed charges against one of the “men” who pull idiotic phone pranks such as making people drink urine or having them break windows in hotels. They do this by convincing the listeners they are talking to officials of some sort, and some kind of emergency action must…
Texas BBQ Day Tripping
The proposition is simple. Eat at every one of Texas Monthly’s top five Texas barbecue joints — all in one day. Easier said than done, right? A typical visit to one barbecue joint usually results in a stuffed belly and a food coma. Is it possible — even practical –…
Need Some Advice? Ask The Essential Heart
This is the first in a series of blogs where readers ask major albums by artists passing through Houston for advice in love, money and other quandaries related to the human condition. Email your questions to craig.hlavaty@houstonpress.com or chris.gray@houstonpress.com. Today, we turn to Heart’s greatest-hits collection, The Essential Heart. Dear…
Bring Me The Head Of This Bastardized Version Of Melrose Place
Did the creators of this Melrose Place remake not take a note from the obvious failure of the “new” 90210? Did they not realize that you can only catch lightning in a bottle once?Yes, friends, apparently the CW is bringing back the `90s soap in September, and I, for one,…
SPIN5: Flashdance!
Dust off your Day-Glo for SPIN5: Flashdance! The Houston Center for Photography’s annual fundraiser will take on the ’80s with a theme inspired by the Jennifer Beals flick. Attendees will receive a $5 discount for wearing era-appropriate attire to the bash, where local spinster DJ Shoe will blast plenty of…
LUMA
Though you might think “getting lit” is something your just-paroled uncle can’t wait to do at the family barbecue this summer, it’s something quite different in LUMA, “the world’s first human light show.” In this live-action show, illuminated light systems are affixed to a number of performers Ñ including dancers,…
Ivan’s Childhood
Director Andrei Tarkovsky’s powerful debut, Ivan’s Childhood, follows a 12-year-old Russian boy who works as a spy on the front lines during World War II. The film jumps between jarring violence and the young protagonist’s peaceful memories of life before wartime, which are his only connection to his lost innocence…
“A Blessing to One Another: Pope John Paul II and the Jewish People”
Enter a synagogue. It seems like a simple thing to do to ease religious tensions, but between the first century and the 20th, no Catholic pope did it. John Paul II not only entered a Jewish house of worship, he also visited and formally recognized Israel and paid frequent homage…
“RAW”
Classical drawing, while lovely, can seem a little dull, mainly because it’s often so darn literal. But with “RAW” at the O’Kane Gallery at the University of Houston-Downtown, you get all the style of the genre with a heavy dose of fantasy and quirk, thanks to local artists Doug Cason,…
Poison Pen Reading Series: Joel Orr and Andrew Kozma
Local theater enthusiasts know Joel Orr as the man behind the hands behind the Bobbindoctrin Puppet Theatre. But tonight he’ll put his puppets aside to read straight from old scripts for the Poison Pen Reading Series. Won’t he feel naked without his strung-up friends? “No, well, you notice me out…
The Open Road
From boy band hottie to solo sensation to…minor league outfielder? Justin Timberlake stars in dramatic comedy The Open Road as young prospect Carlton Garrett, whose mother’s illness forces him to reconnect with his man-child of a father, former baseball legend Kyle Garrett (Jeff Bridges). The role has Timberlake wearing the…
Intuitive Painting class
Guys, are you craving a form of stress relief that’s more cerebral than going to the gym? True You Creativity Studio has you covered. The first Wednesday of each month is Intuitive Painting, an evening where men can make art in a critique-free environment. Translation: It doesn’t matter if you…
A/V Geeks: Crafty is as Crafty Does
Time to break out the Popsicle sticks, googly eyes and pipe cleaners…and use them to explain what arts and crafts is to your kids. After that, head on over to the A/V Geeks: Crafty is as Crafty Does, where they’ll get schooled, 16mm-style, by the geeks’ collection of vintage art…
“Perspectives 167: Jason Villegas”
Houston-born artist Jason Villegas loves stuffed animals. But the plush toys of “Perspectives 167: Jason Villegas” are not the warm and fuzzy cuddlers from your childhood – his are toothed, bloodied and come with warning labels. Most are sexy in a dark, deconstructed sort of way, as Villegas mines his…
Gerald Elias
Daniel Jacobus is the music teacher from Hell. He’s grumpy, rude and wants nothing more than to have his students leave him be. But when he ends up at Carnegie Hall and a Stradivarius gets stolen, things get really bad for the old guy – especially after his arch-nemesis is…
John Truax
For the tourist or potential expat, Mexico may have lost some of its sheen. But despite the news coming out of the country lately, it isn’t all violent drug cartels dumping severed heads into police buildings. John Truax, a native Houstonian who has called Merida, Mexico, home for six years,…
The House by the Cemetery
Before the credits even roll, a sexy young thing is knifed through the back of her head with the blade protruding out of her mouth. She’s then dragged across the floor by the unseen assailant, her head smearing the wood planks with a swath of blood, until the basement door…
16th Annual Theater District Open House
The magic is unveiled this afternoon at the 16th Annual Theater District Open House in the heart of downtown. Wander the wings of the Alley Theatre, touch tutus at the Houston Ballet and enter to win a trip to Carnegie Hall at a free concert from the Houston Symphony hosted…
High School Football Classic 2009
Texans might go crazy during long summers if it weren’t for football serving as the light at the end of the hot, muggy tunnel. If the high school game really nails your extra point, celebrate the start of the most wonderful time of the year with the High School Football…
“Omar Angel Perez: Stilett”O”s”
Anyone who regularly suffers blisters and back pain thanks to their fabulous, fabulous shoes will feel better after hearing the words artist Omar Angel Perez has uttered in promoting his collection of fanciful stilettos: “I offer my gratitude to all women who endure the torture of wearing such heels,” he’s…
Doomsday vs. The Economy
Doomsday Wrestling just got serious (in, you know, a fake-sport kind of way). “Anybody who loses a match is pretty much fired,” says announcer Tex LoneStar. “Usually it’s about a vendetta to settle. No, this time you’re fighting for a job, you’re fighting to put food on the table.” During…
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Though the hoopla surrounding Woodstock’s 40th anniversary has (mostly) subsided, one of the most anticipated performances at that little outdoor festival came from this trio, in only its second public performance. Boasting ex-members of the Byrds, the Hollies and Buffalo Springfield, the vocal harmonies of angels and a name like…
Melvins
When future Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic met Melvins guitarist Buzz Osborne in 1983 while working at an Aberdeen, Washington, Taco Bell, Osborne helped launch Novoselic’s hardcore education by loaning him records by Black Flag, Flipper, the Butthole Surfers and Minor Threat. When original Melvins drummer Mike Dillard stepped down shortly…
Mr. Blood Red, Vol. 2
Seventeen years ago, when Reservoir Dogs was setting American cinema on fire, Quentin Tarantino drove up to his favorite watering hole, a Hollywood Denny’s, in a tiny Geo that I mistook for a rental car. During a scheduled hour-long interview that stretched into nearly three, I nagged him about the…
Rad Rich’s Birthday Back 2 School Radical Bash
DJ, promoter and Hands Up Houston regular Rad Rich is a walking encyclopedia of local scene lore, so much so that we’re thinking about giving him his own “Ask Rad Rich” column on our music blog Rocks Off. (Stay tuned, and call us, Rich.) If you need an idea of…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Amy Blakemore: Photographs 1988-2008,” “Carlos Runcie-Tanaka: Fragmento,” “Detritus,” “No Zoning: Artists Engage Houston”
“Amy Blakemore: Photographs 1988-2008” The photographs Amy Blakemore takes with a crappy plastic camera can make you cry. Dad (1999) is an image from this exhibition, a 20-year survey of the artist’s work at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. The entire time I was in the gallery, people kept…
Battleground Fried Shrimp
Our waitress at the Monument Inn in La Porte was a very savvy lady. Thanks to her sage counsel, we started off our meal splitting a decent shrimp salad with lots of big, fresh boiled shrimp. I told her that I had once been served little broken pieces of mealy…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Steel Magnolias, The Story of Burford, Category 5, The Tamarie Cooper Show: Journey to the Center of My Brain (in 3-D)
Steel Magnolias Old-fashioned as it may be, Robert Harling’s 1987 comedy-drama about a girl who suffers from complications from diabetes remains a very tender story that’s as funny as it is sad. And when the actors are as uniformly strong as the ones getting their up-dos at Truvy’s Beauty Parlor…
Sawyer Park Sports Bar
While many still mourn the passing of the Pig Stand on Washington, home of Houston’s first drive-through, the land was too valuable for it to lie idle for long. Along comes Sawyer Park Sports Bar (2412 Washington, 713-863-9350), a two-story place owned by brothers Jeff and Daren Van Delden together…
No More Bull
It is time again for the newest of Houston traditions — the annual point in August when you realize the Astros suck beyond all hope and will disappoint you once again, and it has become time to turn your attention to the Houston Texans and how they suck and will…
Bang-Up Job
There’s only one place in town to enjoy pistolettes ($2.99 each), and that’s Louisiana Creole Cafe (3717 Dowling, 713-807-1700). A specialty of Louisiana dating to the 1920s, pistolettes were originally made from small French rolls; the inside part of the bread was removed, replaced with a shrimp, crawfish, crab or…
Ruining Woodstock
“If you remember Woodstock, you probably weren’t there,” the expression goes. And if you were, can you please stop gassing on about it? Aquarian Nostalgia™ is the most oppressively sanctimonious and dull stripe of reminiscing. Sure, the three free days of peace and music at Max Yasgur’s farm passed without…
Roman Holiday
JUZCOZ just got off the stage at its EP release party at Isis Houston (1010 Prairie), one of downtown’s newer night spots. The noteworthy New-Age hip-hop duo was way impressive. It was, like, a real, actual concert, with dancers, costume changes and even some iffy choreography. But the room is…
(Very) Oldboy
Finally, there’s a vampire movie worthy of the title The Hunger — even if it arrives under the more potable name Thirst. Carnal appetite, not a parched palate, is the accelerant that fuels this perverse, prankish and merrily anticlerical exercise in bloodletting from Park Chan-wook, the South Korean director whose…
Snack Attack
Retooled noir with less pulp than its original source, Christian Petzold’s Jerichow wryly riffs on The Postman Always Rings Twice for late-capitalist Deutschland. Mostly cool where James M. Cain’s 1934 novel and the 1946 and 1981 film versions run hot, Jerichow is interested less in the frictions of bodies rubbing…
Lunch Box at Christian’s Tailgate
Friday night is karaoke night at Christian’s Tailgate (2000 Bagby, 713-527-0261), which can only mean one thing: drunken idiots. To stand up and belt it out in front of a room full of people, most of us need to be seriously soused. Spectators, in order to endure the aural assault,…
Radney Foster
Like Stephen Bruton on his final albums, Radney Foster seems to be hung up on the spiritual side of things as he approaches 50. Foster’s new Revival is filled with portentous titles like “Forgiveness,” “Angel Flight,” “Life Is Hard (Love Is Easy)” and “I Made Peace With God.” This is…
Sounds of the Universe
If Dave Gahan is the voice of Depeche Mode, and Martin Gore the brooding alternative icons’ principal songwriter, then who is Andy Fletcher? According to a New York Times review of the group’s recent Madison Square Garden show, “Fletch” is the guy who “merely stood behind his bay of keyboards,…
Driving Houston and a Nonexistent “Masterpiece”
Spaced City Miles of Bad Road Houston’s worst driving experiences BY RICHARD CONNELLY Houston is perhaps the most car-centric city in the nation, if not the world. You walk here, you get funny looks. But for a city that loves its cars, officials have sure designed some driver-hating pieces of…
Kommunity FK
An important early influence on Jane’s Addiction, Kommunity FK has been haunting L.A.’s Goth underworld for 30 years. Patrik Mata is the dark wizard behind the Kommunity curtain, guiding his musical minions through the shadow-strewn labyrinth of post-punk, avant-garde, synth-pop and proto-industrial noises that characterize Kommunity albums like 1985’s Close…
An Abuse of Power?
Mall Cops Online readers respond to “You’ve Heard It Effin’ Before: Cops Wash Out With Soap Another Galveston County Potty-Mouth,” by Richard Connelly, August 20: Backing the officer: If you cuss at a cop, you get what’s coming to you. Even if the cop is treating you in a way…
Alias:Orion
One of the best bands in the rapidly recovering New Orleans music scene, Alias:Orion hits the senses like a combination of Queensrÿche’s prog-metal mastery and Wolfsheim’s Germanic space shenanigans. Try this for a mental image: The Millennium Falcon is about to make the jump to light speed. Just as it…
All Things Mexican!
Dear Mexican, A gabacho in the local daily suggested that some of our prisons be outsourced to Mexico to save us some money. What are your thoughts? Would wabs make for good guards looking after homies and white-trash inmates? Have a chew on that taco. Mike the Mick from Missouri…
The Sun Also Rises
As much as talent, drive and determination factor into a band’s chances for wide recognition, there’s no discounting the power of fate. An alignment of forces has lifted psych outfit Sleepy Sun from a local favorite in its hometown of Santa Cruz, California, to a rising star on the San…
The Living Bubba
After many, many years, Noise is beginning to realize that it’s possible to have a worthwhile musical experience nowhere near a stage. Ironically, the band responsible is Drive-By Truckers, whom we’ve seen live more often than probably any other save Wilco, Rev. Horton Heat and a handful of old Austin…
Heart
Everybody knows Heart thanks to a handful of classic-rock radio staples, but few people consider the band much beyond “Crazy on You.” While Heart’s chart-toppers have firmly ensconced the Seattle-formed band in rock history as one of the first female-fronted hard-rock acts, their misleading radio presence also leads to a…
