The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: March 7
Name: Bruno Mars
AKA: "Not that Bruno."
What Kind of Music Is It? Pop fusion.
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? "Grenade," without a doubt. That "lazy" song (called "The Lazy Song," conveniently enough). Also that one about sex being like a pair of dice, or something.
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? I'm sure Cee Lo Green clued him in at some point.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Cocaine.
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt?. Now now, we don't want to scare the kids.
Will There Be Chicks There? None who will likely be attracted to a bro in an Affliction shirt, alas.
Will We Get into a Fight? You could try to rile up any Police fans in attendance, sure.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "Marry You," "When I Was Your Man."
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Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Tosh.0? Mars is a pretty animated performer, and Tosh's show repeats 500 times a month. Go to the show.