Only in Houston can we flood half a city without a single drop of rain. And, naturally, the burst water main that robbed much of Houston of water pressure and forced the closure of HISD and HCC did the most damage to a freeway. Because God knows the one thing we need is something else to wreak havoc on traffic in Houston.

Of course, it also happened to come the day before Go Texan day when hundreds of trail riders descend upon the city traveling in covered buggies and on horseback, exactly the sort of thing to really speed up the flow of traffic on city streets.

What we are saying is, if you haven't fled Houston in a panic, we recommend you don't leave your home and binge watch Cheer on Netflix and while eating a huge pot of crawfish. If you have to leave home, don't go near the east side. At this point, it's better to assume the city of Houston no longer has an east side and remember life is for the living.

If for some bizarre reason, you need to travel this weekend, try to remember a few things.

The 610 East Loop is beyond Thunderdome.

The giant burst water main off the East Loop flooded the entire freeway and closed it from Interstate 10 to Highway 225. That is a BIG stretch of road to be closed anytime of the day, but especially at rush hour. Chances are it will still be a mess Friday, so, again, assume it doesn't exist. Think of it like a post-apocalyptic world filled with the criminally insane or the West Loop on pretty much any day of the week. Avoid at all costs.

The Southwest Freeway/West Loop interchange closes every damn night.

And speaking of the glorious West Loop, the continued work on the most trafficked and dangerous intersection in the state of Texas continues unabated. Like most days, it is closed off overnights and probably will be there until your child has finished med school. Who knows, it may inspire her to pursue a career in psychology to treat patients with severe traffic-related PTSD.

Memorial Park and points north and northwest will be full of horse excrement.

Horses and trail riders are really quite lovely and quaint. It's such a unique part of the city's landscape each year. We are often thought of as cowboy-hat-wearing rednecks and this is the one time of year where, honestly, we kind of are. But, when your city is already clogged with traffic, perhaps the worst day of the year on the roads is the one where we revert to the 1800s and fill our streets with chuck wagons and cowpokes on their way to a rodeo. But, it is what it is, so be aware and put on your damn boots, man, you're embarrassing all of us.