Pop Rocks

Let's Have An Accurate Social Network Movie

The Social Network, David Fincher's movie about Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg, AKA "The Discount Michael Cera"), opens in October. Virtual fur is already flying, however, over alleged liberties taken by Fincher and author Ben Mezrich (the movie is based on his book The Accidental Billionaires). Zuckerberg, for one, is reportedly unhappy about the finished product:

At this point, it appears Facebook is going to stay mostly quiet until the film opens, although Zuckerberg said in a recent interview, "Honestly, I wish that when people try to do journalism or write stuff about Facebook that they at least try to get it right." and "The movie is fiction."

Producer Scott Rudin reportedly spent months trying to smooth the company's fears, but gave up after it was clear from an early screening for Facebook execs that "they did not like it."

Movies like this will always suffer from the "he said, she said" problem concerning historical accuracy. In the end, it won't matter if FB's founders ever snorted coke off a teenage girl's breasts, or if Zuckerberg ironically lost all his real life friends in the pursuit of virtual ones. That's because The Social Network will, ultimately, fail to capture the actual Facebook experience. And here's why...

If Fincher really wanted to give an accurate represent what it's like to spend any significant amount of time on Facebook, he'd include the following:

Every Thirty Seconds, Justin Timberlake's Character Would Remind the Audience To Join Their Mob

Or get a "Slippery When Wet" sign for FishVille, or buy the "Magical Sexual Mule" in FarmVille, or urge you to post a meaningless PSA as your status update to prove you care about issues, man, or...well, you get the idea.

And I may have made up the Magical Sexual Mule thing. I don't actually play FarmVille.

Fincher Would Be Caught On Camera Calling Scott Rudin An Asshole

It's the big cautionary tale of the age, isn't it? "Fired because of Facebook?" A lot of unnecessary hand-wringing for a bunch of people who couldn't be bothered to set a privacy setting, or -- I don't know -- not talk shit about their boss or job online. I have no idea if Fincher actually dislikes Rudin, but he probably should.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar