Welcome back to the weekly Eating Our Words round-up! This week started out with more Cinco de Mayo fare and the triumphant return of Robb Walsh with his Top 5 Cinco de Mayo Mariachi Requests which, intentionally or not, pretty accurately take you through the five stages of getting truly shitfaced. The article is marred only slightly by some very mild Willie-bashing in the comments section, but frankly, ever since we found out Willie is one of those 9/11 "Inside Jobbers", we've been willing to let a little bashing slide his way. But not too much; the man did write "Bloody Mary Morning".

This week's Snackshot: some delicious waffles. Whoever thought of combining the simplicity of pancakes with the functionality of the geometric grid should win, at the very least, the Nobel Peace Prize. "I see every pancake, everywhere, covered in little syrup reservoirs!" Such vision!

This week's Where Are We Eating? taught us that if we're ever going to stump you guys, we're gonna have to try a lot harder than Rudyard's. Not that Rudyard's is trying to stump you... moving on, Robb made with a fantastic Cinco de Mayo recipe: Sonoran Hot Dogs, "sonoran" of course being Spanish for "loaf of bread with absolutely everything in your kitchen stuffed inside it".

All the Cinco de Mayo festivities climaxed in an extraordinarily graphic taco porn slideshow that made us feel kind of dirty... not to mention all hot and spicy. Then it was back to your standard Texas fare with a notice about A&M's BBQ 101 class, which is being taught at the - get ready - Texas A&M Meat Science Center. Oh, God, I want to work there just so I can answer the phones. "Hello, Texas Meat Science, how may I help you? Hold please, I'll transfer you to our Szechwan Alchemy wing."

Were you aware of the somewhat unlikely - but entirely delicious - South American / Italian tradition of Noquis on the 29th? No? Well, mark your calendar, you pasta lover you.

Jay Francis, for some reason, wants to take Guy Fieri around Houston and show him what our food scene is all about. I have a better idea, Jay: how about you take ME on that epic food odyssey, and we'll let Mr. Fieri get back to roadie-ing for Nickelback, or whatever he does when he's not shopping for hair gel.

Rounding into Hump Day, Katharine Shilcutt gave us an opportunity to make an early start with planning our Mother's Day meals, but we're fairly certain most of you procrastinated anyway. If you're anything like us, that is. Robb followed that up with some info on a seemingly random treat: lemon sorbet with noodles. Sure, screw it, let's just throw any old thing in with the ice cream, right? Rocky Road and string beans. French vanilla and beef jerky. NEAPOLITAN WITH CALAMARI, RIGHT, YOU BASTARDS? Okay, we're going to move on before we get any more upset. Our doctor told us it's not good for us to write in all caps like that.

$7 at Chin Tao gets you pretty far, it turns out, as you perhaps could have guessed from the "Can Afford!" sign in the window. Prudent! Also affordable: the better-than-decent feed at the Country Kitchen's steam table. Chicken fried steak you can cut with just a fork? We're sold.

Finally, to cap off the week, J.C. Reid provides us with a thorough investigation into Louisiana Foods, a Houston seafood staple, and Robb Walsh eats a cake with tits. Welcome back, Robb!