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Best Place to Pretend You're Famous

The LounGe on Montrose Here, Trent Steele got everything he needed -- when he needed it (see "How to Be Famous," April 29). VIP table with a view of the crowd? Check. Cup of cherries? Check. Confused admiration? Check. Witty insult from a woman who thought he was an asshole? Yep, that too. The line to get in was surpassed with minimal effort, and the drinks were cheap. Hell, there's nothing better than inexpensive booze and an inflated feeling of importance, two things that go hand in hand at this Montrose pub-club full of twentysomethings. Mr. Steele was pleased.

David Tillman Yo! Dude! What's doin' out yonder? Count on David Tillman to tell you, straight up. Houston has its multitudes of manic meteorologists -- from the pretty-haired, fashion-plate "personalities" to the stern high school principal types -- all dividing those dew-point decimals and spewing that nonsensical nomenclature about upper-level troughs. Tillman is pleasantly low-pressure, even when the systems are high-pressure. And he's got stellar credentials, including an Emmy for snowstorm coverage at his old TV station in Memphis. Tillman is content to deliver the forecasts on weekends, mornings or any other time he's needed, then to retire to his family of three. He keeps life -- and his forecasts -- simple. Like a front moving in from Canada, he's naturally cool.

Michael McSpadden, 209th District Court In an era of turnover on the benches, Judge Michael McSpadden provides a blessed balance for beleaguered citizens. He drew criticism in his early years for being an outspoken advocate on nearly every front -- from voluntary castration options for sex offenders to depoliticizing the justice system. But in these homogenized times, more than a few courthouse regulars would love this warrior to mount the occasional crusade again. Perhaps McSpadden has mellowed. No matter: What's most important is his determination to be fair to all sides, and to conduct his court with the kind of old-school decorum that brings refreshing dignity to the system. In that, he has succeeded. And with his kind of integrity, he'll be succeeding at it for another quarter-century.

Best Place to Meet People with Large Discretionary Incomes

The Houstonian Hotel, Club and Spa Need some funding for your new nonprofit group? Common sense dictates that you not hit up your would-be benefactor during the week. But don't bug him at the office either; that's what everyone does. Better to chat him up during a leisurely game of tennis, say, at the Houstonian. If you're looking for a benefactor, investor, monied client or, hell, a sugar daddy or mama, this is your place. Old-money types hang with up-and-comers at the sauna, tennis courts, poolside or, in the case of Mayor Bill White, at the basketball court. Star-starved? This fabled Houston hideaway is a popular choice for visiting celebs and politicos -- try your luck at Olivette, the in-house bar and restaurant. Just don't go pushing your idea for a John Kerry biopic. After all, this is Bush Sr.'s turf.

James D. Squier, 312th District Court Family courtroom legal brawls can be especially vicious. But Judge James Squier, who got his start coaching in Pasadena's school district, has seen it all. He's paid his dues during a solid decade on the bench, along with 20 years of practice as an attorney (six of them as an associate judge). Squier came aboard in the most embattled of times for family courts; his patient, common-sense approach, good humor and -- above all --fairness deserve much of the credit for restoring credibility to Houston family courts. His added duties as administrative judge speak volumes about the respect Squier has earned, from both colleagues and those appearing before him in court. There's no doubt about it: This ex-coach has excelled in the toughest of leagues.

Kimberly Caldwell Kimberly Caldwell sure looked like a winner in the ad campaign for American Idol II, as she fetchingly waved an arm in the air and effortlessly belted out Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Superstition." And she did go quite far, making it all the way to the final 12 and infuriating fans and fellow contestants along the way. During her long run, Internet chat rooms percolated with "I hate Kimberly" posts. She was Omarosa and Alexis Carrington all rolled into one. There was the divalike spat with fellow contestant Julie De Mato and many, many more suspicious crying fits. Her stage mom from hell and brassy blond looks likewise won her few friends, and many women were furious when this villainess hooked up with hunky presidential descendant and fellow contestant J.D. Adams. And then one day it was all over -- Kimberly fell in the path of rotund juggernaut Ruben Studdard, and her Idol days came to an end. Today, you can find her on the decidedly less glamorous TV Guide Channel, where she interviews current contestants of the show that made her briefly famous.

Japhet Say the words "Fifth Ward" to most Houstonians, and they'll think crime, poverty and desperation. The neighborhood is infamous in song -- everyone from bluesmen like Juke Boy Bonner to rappers like the Geto Boys has made music about the Bloody Fifth and its perils. The tiny pocket called Japhet may be in the Fifth Ward, but it's not in that Fifth Ward. Train tracks, warehouses, junglelike vegetation and Japhet Creek hem in Japhet's four-square-block haven of ramshackle old wood-frame houses. It's more like a village than anything else -- fragrant organic gardens are everywhere, bursting with vegetables, fruits and flowers, and the whole neighborhood comes together for a big party every full moon.

Ensemble/HCC Keep your fancy downtown fountains. Forget about the convenience of the Medical Center stops, which allow you to forgo the horror of trying to park there. The best station along Metro's light rail line is, hands down, the Ensemble/HCC stop. The "HCC" stands for Houston Community College, an often-overlooked bastion of cultural happenings. But look what else the stop offers within a block or two: highbrow entertainment at the Ensemble Theatre, the city's finest African-American dramatic company; sweaty-browed thrills at the Continental Club, home of the blues, with great local and touring acts; the city's best new hipper-than-thou restaurant, Monica Pope's T'afia; and one of the city's best places for morning eats, the Breakfast Klub. Also, on Saturday mornings, the parking lot at T'afia hosts a gourmet farmers' market for all you hard-to-please foodies. All in all, there are plenty of reasons to get off the train, and isn't that what makes a stop special?

The Astrodome The cavernous old stadium once billed as the "Eighth Wonder of the World" is still embedded in the heads of out-of-towners as a symbol of Houston. So what if it's mostly used for monster-truck demos and high school football games? It's 5,000 metric tons of history in a city with its feet planted firmly in the present. And surely it's better for Houston to be remembered as the home of the first indoor baseball stadium than the home of Enron.

The Galleria At last count, there were approximately 1.8 million stores in this sprawling monument to consumerism. The Galleria is an economic magnet that sucks folks from all kinds of places into its grip. This, combined with the sheer volume of retail outlets, makes the Galleria the prime spot in the region for people-watching. Witness smooching love birds mingling alongside wide-eyed out-of-towners, while uptown fashionistas forage in their native habitat for $500 shoes. With ice-skating couples, stroller-pushing moms and packs of hormone-riddled teens thrown in, there's barely time to blink. But even if you get bored on one floor, hey, there's, like, 150 more!

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