5 Best Meteorologically Inspired Cocktails for Hurricane Season

Studies have repeatedly shown that intoxicated persons are 47 percent more likely to survive major weather events than their sober counterparts [citation missing], which is why this hurricane season be sure to include booze as well as water in your emergency kit. And if you need more inspiration as what exactly to sip during a hurricane (besides the eponymous cocktail), check out these five drinks.

5. Sea Breeze. Its (sort-of) exotic cranberry and grapefruit flavors as well as its euphemistic name makes the Sea Breeze the perfect thing to chug when you're not trying delude yourself into thinking what's going on outside is a minor tropical storm and not a Category 5 hurricane that will mostly definitely destroy your house. Make in bulk.

4. Twister. Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Okay, the last thing people need to do in the midst of gale-force winds is panic, so chill the eff out and have a highball. The twister only requires vodka, lime juice, and lemon soda, though you can sub in Sprite if the streets are too flooded to run to Kroger.

3. Blue Lightning. The cool sapphire hue of this very boozy tipple belies its crazy-ass component liquors (SoCo, bourbon, blue curacao) that in combination trick you into thinking you're drinking something light and sweet but leave you piss-ass drunk after two servings. So, during the hurricane, don't serve this to whoever is responsible for the generator.

2. Dark 'n' Stormy. This classic cocktail needs little introduction for anyone who's been to Bermuda, but in case you're aware of the delicious potentialities of the combination of dark rum and ginger beer, here's some instructions. Do you have to use Gosling's rum? YES!

1. Fema Martini. Invented by yours truly, inspired by certain events in 2005. Simple components but guaranteed to produce incredibly complicated, dangerous results: • 3 ounces Arrogant Bastard ale • 3 ounces Oops wine Combination wine and beer. Allow mixture to come to room temperature. Offer to guests; then never serve it.

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Joanna O'Leary