It had to happen — a chain offering massages at discount rates. And we tired, poor, huddled masses say, "Bring it!" Of 660 clinics nationwide, 20 or so are in the Houston area, lending credibility to the rumor that our city's traffic really does suck. We go to the one in Meyerland; a coworker swears by a skilled masseuse's Swedish technique at the Sugar Land location. First visit's $39 per hour! Check out the Web site, where you'll learn about the different massage types — we learned that there is no authorized use of a peacock feather in any of the salons. And to think we once paid a guy for that at a sports club downtown! We love the standardized, cookie-cutter reassurance of Massage Envy.