If you or I were in a bar in Waco, Texas, and we got into an argument with somebody, and then went outside with that person in full view of several patrons, and then shot that person point-blank in the face in front of several witnesses who would later testify that we fired without provocation after asking our victim, "Where do you want it?" you or I would be in a heap of shit. That is because, unlike Billy Joe Shaver, the country legend whose alleged actions are described above, you or I likely cannot afford to hire Dick DeGuerin. The Shaver trial was simply astounding. Despite all that damning testimony and Shaver's blustery bravado on the stand — when a prosecutor asks you if you should have left the bar instead of shooting the guy in the face, it's generally not recommended to contend that the former option was "chickenshit" — the jury took only two hours to acquit the honky-tonk poet in what had seemed an unwinnable case for the defense. It was just the latest, and from a pure lawyerly standpoint, perhaps the greatest, in a 45-year-long career for the one-time Percy Foreman protégé, which has also seen him win big for the likes of New York heir-turned-Galveston tranny corpse-beheader Robert Durst and Kay Bailey Hutchison.